Facts? Fantastic! Here’s A Few More.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, here are a few more fantastic facts to deposit in your knowledge bank.

Very random, but hopefully interesting.

And in case you are wondering, yes, I’m staying clear of St. Louis for obvious reasons.

Enjoy.

.

did you know1

.

It’s illegal to drink beer out of a bucket

while you’re sitting on a curb in St. Louis!

drink beer out of a bucket

.

.

One ragweed plant can release as many as

one billion grains of pollen!

Solidago balsam ragweed plant

.

.

The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand

likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows!

kea bird

.

.

Skepticisms is the longest word

that alternates hands when typing!

keyboard

.

.

The director of Cannibal Holocaust had to prove in court

that the actors were still alive and didn’t get killed during the movie

cannibal-holocaust-original

.

.

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle,

a group of geese in the air is a skein!

geese in the air

.

.

Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed

from using products made for right handed people!

left handed people

.

.

There are more than 10 million bricks

in the Empire State Building!

Looking Up at Empire State Building

.

.

If you counted 24 hours a day,

it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

1_trillion

.

.

The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!

Solar_System_3

.

.

Pinocchio is Italian for “pine eye”!

Pinocchio

.

.

The Mint once considered producing

doughnut-shaped coins!

doughnut-shaped coins

.

.

It’s against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas!

false-teeth

.

.

The average American/Canadian

drinks about 600 sodas a year!

sodas

.

.

Bulls are color blind, and therefore will usually charge

at a matador’s waving cape no matter what color it is

— be it red or neon yellow!

 Bulls are color blind

.

=============================================

.

Did You Know – It’s Fasab’s February Facts

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

These facts aren’t particularly for February, it just sounded good for the title.

In fact they are just as random as ever so hopefully you may find something of interest.

Enjoy.

.

did you know2

.

Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated

by Canada Post on February 1, 1969!

Canadapost

.

.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was paid approximately $21,429

for every one of the 700 words he said in,

Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

arnold-schwarzenegger-in-terminator-2

.

.

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for

most trips of less than 50 minutes!

Tokyo traffic

.

.

In England, there is still a law on the books

requiring all men older than 14 years old to carry out

2 hours of longbow practice every day.

longbowmen

.

.

Star Wars was originally prefixed

by the definite article ‘The’.

The Star Wars

.

.

In Germany, it is illegal to run out of gas

on an autobahn (highway).

autobahn

.

.

In Australia, it’s illegal to name

any animal you plan to eat.

kangaroos

.

.

Your body is creating and killing 15 million

red blood cells per second!

red-blood-cells

.

.

The king of hearts is the only king without

a moustache on a standard playing card!

king-of-hearts-playing-card

.

.

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off!

(Bet you never noticed!)

Mona Lisa

.

.

Every day 20 banks are robbed.

The average take is $2,500!

bank robbery

.

.

Tablecloths were originally meant to be

served as towels with which dinner guests

could wipe their hands and faces after eating!

tablecloth

.

.

The names of Popeye’s four nephews are

Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye!

Popeye's four nephews Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye, and Poopeye

.

.

Until the nineteenth century, solid blocks of tea

were used as money in Siberia!

blocks of tea

.

.

There is a sound effect called the Wilhelm Scream

that has been used in over 200 movies and TV shows since 1951

.

.

=============================================

.

Did You Know? – Here Are Some More Things You Probably Didn’t.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Welcome to another fact finding day on the fasab blog.

Fifteen more very random but hopefully interesting facts that you probably didn’t know.

Enjoy.

.

did you know4

.

If you live in France,

and happen to own a pig,

it is illegal to name it ‘Napoleon’.

pig Napoleon

.

.

50 of the 83 restaurants

featured on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

have been sold or shut down.

ramsays-kitchen-nightmares

.

.

In Turkey, it is illegal for a man

over 80 years old to become a pilot.

pilot turkey

.

.

It took 127 beers to make Andre The Giant

pass out in a hotel lobby;

 he was so big, hotel management couldn’t

move him and left him there until the next day.

Andres-Hand-beer

.

.

If you have the plague you are not

permitted to flag down a taxi in London.

London taxi

.

.

If a set of identical twin women

married a set of identical twin men

and subsequently had children,

their kids would genetically be siblings.

nicoleandjaqueline

.

.

Every year Louis Vuitton burns

all of its unsold stock of bags.

Louis_Vuitton_Speedy_Hand_Bags

.

.

It is against the law in Barbados to wear any camouflage clothing,

but, hey, if it’s good enough whose going to notice?

bushgreen camouflage

.

.

Sean Connery wore a wig in every

one of his Bond performances.

Sean Connery James Bond

.

.

Whilst chewing gum in Singapore is not illegal,

importing it, or selling it,

or spitting it on to the pavement definitely is.

Singapore gum sign

.

.

Peter Sellers was paid $1 million for his

part in the movie Dr. Strangelove,

55 percent of the film’s budget.

peter-sellers-as-dr-strangelove

.

.

In Canada stores are not

legally required to accept coins

Canadian-Specimen-Set-Coins

.

.

The United Arab Emirates donated a laptop

to every high school student in Joplin, Missouri,

after the city had been devastated by a tornado.

Joplin, Missouri after tornado

.

.

Astronaut Pete Conrad’s first sentence on the moon was

“Oooh, is that soft an queasy”,

said in order to win a $500 bet.

pete conrad

.

.

And speaking of the Moon,

the Moonwalk predates Michael Jackson by at least 50 years,

having been performed by James Brown, David Bowie,

Dick Van Dyke and Cab Calloway.

(MJ is still the best at it though.)

.

.

.

===========================================

.

Did You Know? The Fact File Is Open Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

The fact file is open again so let’s have a look and see what random bits of information have come up today.

As always, enjoy.

.

did you know5

.

Through the first half of the 20th century,

only one winner of the Oscar for Best Picture was filmed in color:

Gone with the Wind.

gone_with_the_wind_poster

.

Horses and donkeys are of different species.

In order to get what we call a “mule,” a horse and donkey

must mate and produce offspring.

Any offspring between two different species

will be sterile and unable to reproduce.

horse and donkey in love

.

Between 1912 and 1948, art competitions were a part of the Olympics.

Medals were awarded for architecture, music, painting, and sculpture.

LondonAlbertHallArt poster

.

Medal of Honor recipient Thomas Baker

was gravely wounded and had his comrades leave him behind,

propped up against a tree with a pistol that had 8 bullets remaining.

Later they found his body next to the tree,

surrounded by 8 dead Japanese soldiers.

Thomas Baker Medal of Honor

.

A 14 year old boy broke into Buckingham Palace

and stole the Queen’s underwear.

The Queen's Knickers

.

Theodore Roosevelt was once shot at during a campaign rally in Wisconsin.

The bullet penetrated his glasses case and a manuscript,

just missing his right lung.

Being an expert hunter he decided to stay and give his speech

since he wasn’t coughing up blood.

His speech lasted nearly an hour.

Theodore_Roosevelt_circa_1902

.

Sean Penn once beat Madonna over the head with a baseball bat,

shot at a paparazzi,

and hung another paparazzi by is ankles from a ninth-floor balcony.

(I hope he isn’t upset by this post!)

sean-penn

.

In 1994, Bill Gates bought the Da Vinci Codex for $30m

and then had it scanned and distributed

as screensavers and wallpapers for Windows95.

Da Vinci Codex

.

An eyeball weighs about 1 ounce.

eyeball

.

World Famous Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey

is made only in the small town of Lynchburg, Tennessee.

Though the town supplies the world with the famous libation,

not a drop may be purchased for consumption anywhere in town.

Moore County is a “dry” county,

meaning that the sale and consumption of alcohol is illegal.

Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey

.

300 people died in Ycuá Bolaños supermarket fire

on Sunday, August 1, 2004 in Asunción, Paraguay

because the owners shut the doors

so people wouldn’t leave without paying.

Super_Ycuá_Bolaños_01_08_2005

.

Cats sweat through the pads of their feet

(especially when they hear a dog barking)

and cannot taste sweet things.

cat's paw

.

In 1939, Hitler’s nephew wrote an article called

“Why I Hate My Uncle.”

He came to the U.S., served in the Navy,

and settled on Long Island.

Hitler's nephew

.

Britain’s Prince Harry is partial owner

of a racehorse named Usain Colt.

Usain Colt

.

A priest on the Titanic refused a place on a life boat twice,

and stayed behind to hear confessions and

give absolution to people left on the ship.

titanic_ship-HD

.

A “2 by 4″ is really 1 1/2″ by 3 1/2″.

2 by 4

.

There are more than 40,000 different

spoken languages in the world today.

international_languages

.

11% of the world is left-handed.

left-handed-products

.

With five full-time chefs, the White House kitchen

is able to serve dinner to as many as 140 guests

and hors d’oeuvres to more than 1,000.

White House kitchen

.

Bob Marley was buried with his red Gibson guitar,

a Bible opened to Psalm 23, and a bud of marijuana.

.

.

====================================

.

The Fact File Is Open Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Here we go with another random selection of facts from the files.

There’s bound to be something new in this lot, so read on and, of course….

Enjoy!

.

did you know3

.

McDonald’s daily customer traffic is larger

than the population of Great Britain

Mcdonalds_logo

.

The placement of a donkey’s eyes in its head

enables it to see all four feet at all times!

Donkey_from_Shrek

.

. 

President Theodore Roosevelt (1901-1909)

was not only the first President to ride in an automobile,

but also the first President to travel outside the country

when he visited Panama.

President_Theodore_Roosevelt

.

Camel’s have three eyelids.

Camel jordanian desert

.

A man wore 70 items of clothing in a Chinese airport

to avoid the bagging charge.

friends_302_joey_chandlers_clothes

.

Above the Supreme Court is a basketball court

known as the Highest Court in the Land.

Clarence Thomas tore his Achilles in a 1993 game.

Supreme-Court-Basketball-logo_full

.

Your brain consumes 25 watts of power while you’re awake.

This amount of energy is enough to illuminate a lightbulb.

brain

.

Hedenophobes have a fear of pleasure.

They won’t be reading this blog then!

Hedenophobes

.

Prostitution is not and has never been illegal in Canada.

Legalizing_Prostitution

.

Ramses brand condom is named after

the great pharaoh Ramses II

who fathered over 160 children.

pharaoh Ramses II

.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

giant squid eye

.

The first license plate on a car in the United States

was issued in Denver, Colorado in 1908.

denver_colorado_red_license

.

The “Dull Men’s Hall of Fame” is located in Carroll, Wisconsin

– and, no, I am not on their roll of honor!

blah_cologne_for_dull_men_461435

.

Studies have shown that swearing when in pain

can release pain-killing endorphins.

swearing when in pain

.

Common Cobra venom is not on the list of top 10 venoms

yet it is still 40 times more toxic than cyanide.

cobra

.

“Lassie” was played by a group of male dogs;

the main one was named Pal.

Lassie

.

The record for the most weddings is held by King Mogul of Siam,

who had 9000 weddings and 9000 wives

– and 9000 mother-in-laws *@#!.

King_Mongkut_of_Siam

.

In 1984, a Canadian farmer began

renting advertising space on his cows.

cows advertising

.

In ancient Greece “idiot” meant a private citizen or layman;

in modern America it means a politician!

Cartoon-Idiot-Problem-990

.

. 

You use 14 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.

Keep Smiling!

 

smiling v frowning

.

====================================

.

 

More Random Samples From The Fasab Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

If its facts you want we have them!

So here is another selection.

If you can’t find something you don’t know in here then you know far too much.

Enjoy.

.

did you know3

.

“Kemo Sabe”, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger

means “Soggy Shrub” in Navajo Indian.

The Tonto in Spanish means “a fool”.

Lone Ranger and Tonto

.

.

Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

ketchup

.

.

Killer whales have such a good sense of touch

that if you dropped a pill into a bucket

and feed it to the orca

it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.

Shamu_the_Killer_Whale_Sea_World_Orlando

.

.

Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.

Kleenex

.

.

Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs

have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD.

Oh mummy!

knitted socks

.

.

Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969,

there by setting a new world’s record

for runners in the 100 years or older class.

He was 101.

old-runner

.

.

5% of Canadians don’t know the first 7 words of the Canadian anthem,

but know the first 9 of the American anthem.

Canadian Anthem

.

7% of Americans don’t know the first 9 words of the American anthem,

but know the first 7 of the Canadian anthem.

American Anthem

.

.

85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S.

paper

.

.

99% of the solar system’s mass is concentrated in the sun.

sun-etc

.

.

There is a company in Taiwan makes dinnerware

out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

wheat dinnerware

.

.

About 70% of Americans who go to college

do it just to make more money.

(The rest are just avoiding reality for four more years.)

college

.

.

America once issued a 5-cent bill.

5 Cent Bill

.

.

The Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahuac,

whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”

Now there’s revenge for you!

cuitlahuac_realista

.

.

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of

their unwanted people without killing them

used to burn their houses down

– hence the expression “to get fired.”

youre-fired

.

.

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland

because he doesn’t wear pants

– the little pecker!

donald_duck

.

.

Marijuana is not as chemically addictive

as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today

is because in the 1930’s cotton growers lobbied against

hemp farmers whom they saw it as competition.

marijuana-leaf

.

.

Special playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII.

If captured, they could be soaked in water

and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

map-card

.

.

The three best-known western names in China are

Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.

Nixon and Elvis

.

.

Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill,

‘If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee’.

To which Churchill replied,

‘If you were my wife, I would drink it’.

Astor vs Churchill

.

===================================

.

Gosh, It’s A Two Post Sunday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I haven’t had a rant for a while, so one is long overdue. Here it is.

.

I’m sure hardly anybody noticed, but last week the bureaucrats in Washington effectively shut down the web site Intrade for US citizens. Intrade was the popular web site that any adult, including Americans, could use to wager on the future price of certain commodities, like gold or oil.

Effectively the bureaucrats have now made it illegal to solicit Americans to buy and sell commodity options contracts unless they are listed on an exchange registered with them or on one designated as legally exempt by them, and they have taken upon themselves the power to regulate nearly any commodity-related activity unless Congress provides a specific exemption.

Of course the politically well connected investment banks and hedge funds into which the great and the wealthy put their money can carry on as before speculating on the price of everything from pork bellies to platinum and manipulating gold, currency, oil and other markets. The recent MF Global scandal really puts that beyond reasonable doubt.

Intrade is just the latest move by the bureaucrats and the thought police to restrict the freedom of American citizens. Not so long ago it was the online gambling websites, then New Zealand based Megaupload was targeted, then banking in any offshore jurisdiction, now the Ireland based Intrade, and tomorrow, well, who knows.

Maybe the ever sensitive morons in the thought police will try to stop you reading blogs critical of their asinine bureaucracy? Oh, oh, gulp!

The way they are acting is nothing short of a complete perversion of the concept of a government with limited powers. But are the liberals, who should be in the forefront of upholding such principles, falling over themselves to defend the ordinary people?

Not likely.

If and when this type of interference happens in China or North Korea or somewhere similar, they are rushing to get on to their high horses to condemn and ridicule.

But back in Washington they are busy trying to create an inefficient and bureaucracy-ridden nanny state that they know will necessitate clamping down on individual choice and freedom, if it is to even stand a chance of making it look as if it is working.

To add insult to injury the bureaucrats make their usual claim that they are taking these steps for “your own protection”.

Why is it that the steps the bureaucrats take in the ”public interest” never seem to turn out to be in my interest or in the interest of anyone I know?

By the way, in case you are wondering, I have never used Intrade, it’s not my kind of thing and I don’t know enough about that field to speculate with any consistent degree of success.

But I would appreciate the freedom to make up my own mind on the subject, instead of having the faceless and less intelligent bureaucratic thought police dictate the decision for me.

We all know how successful the Volstead Act was at the beginning of the last century, but the bureaucrats learn nothing from their mistakes. And they never will, because their desire is not to do what is right or just or even sensible, their desire is to create an ever growing bureaucracy which they control.

Home of the brave? No doubt about that when you see the young people who are willingly putting themselves in harm’s way to help to defend the nation.

But land of the free? No siree, not no mo!

.

.


==========================

Stupid Politicians And Bureaucrats Make What? Yes, That’s Right – Stupid Laws, Part Three

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

Today we have the third of my three-part series highlighting some of the stupid laws that have been made by the stupid politicians and bureaucrats that we have allowed into positions of power.

So here are some more of the lesser known laws that govern the good citizens in the United States (listed by state alphabetically, part 1 covered A to L, part 2 covered the M’s and N’s, this week it’s O to W.).

Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).

 .

 .

OHIO

  • Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public. (I hope that’s no reflection on them.)
  • It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. (And immoral any other day.)
  • It is illegal to get a fish drunk. (Would Sir like some water with that?)
  • The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car. (But I want to ‘beep’.)
  • If one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour. (That’s greeeaaaatttttt!)

 .

OKLAHOMA

  • It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. (And the real thing is okay???)
  • Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
  • It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots. (That reminds me of a joke about…… no, better not.)
  • People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed. (What happens if you just have a ugly face to begin with?)
  • Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.
  • Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punishable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine. (Well, blow me, that’s expensive!)
  • It is illegal to conceal the birth of a child that would be a bastard. (But you never know how they are going to turn out until they get a bit older???)

 .

 .

OREGON

  • Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car. (That’s okay, you need both hands to hang on to the car anyhow.)
  • It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex. (So where do you whisper them?)
  • Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays. (Ridiculous!)
  • It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property. (To pot with that!!)
  • You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street. (Well, maybe YOU can’t, but….)
  • Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license. (And quite difficult even with one.)
  • It is a crime to publicly scrape clean a skeleton in a cemetery. (And let’s make no bones about it.)

 .

 .

PENNSYLVANIA

  • It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. (This is another one of those ‘how many people were doing this that a law was needed against it’ kind of things.)
  • Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
  • A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. (Ya hear that one ladies?)
  • In Harrisburg it is against the law to wear lead nipple shields. (I bet Superman goes there – a lot!)
  • You may not sing in the bathtub.
  • You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. (I don’t think I could catch a fish with my mouth.)

 .

 .

RHODE ISLAND

  • No one may bite off another’s leg. (Ears, noses, arms, etc., are okay?)
  • Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. (I’m saying nothing.)
  • One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left. (Can do!)
  • The penalty for biting off another’s limb is twenty years in jail, but only if it was intentional. (Whoops, sorry, there’s your leg back. I didn’t mean it.)
  • It is illegal to wear transparent clothing. (Clearly!)
  • You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

 .

 .

SOUTH CAROLINA

  • It is considered an offense to get a tattoo. (I just consider it stupid.)
  • Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. (I guess there’s no room, what with all the donkeys in there.)
  • It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
  • It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide. (You mean if you are attempting suicide or you can’t kill the person who is attempting suicide?)

 .

 .

SOUTH DAKOTA

  • It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. (But is there a law about cutting the cheese?)
  • If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.
  • In Huron it is an offence to cause static. (Shocking law that one.)
  • Otherwise illegal explosives can be set off in sunflower fields.

 .

 .

TENNESSEE

  • It is a crime to share your Netflix password in Tennessee. (Is it okay in English?)
  • It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. (And very difficult.)
  • “Crimes against nature” are prohibited.
  • Skunks may not be carried into the state. (Yeah, let the little stinkers walk.)

 .
 .

TEXAS

  • It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. (What sort of a guy ‘sips’ beer? Come on!)
  • Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
  • It is illegal to milk another person’s cow. (Is that a double entendre?)
  • The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
  • In Dallas it is illegal to possess realistic dildos.

 .

 .

UTAH

  • It is illegal not to drink milk.
  • It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
  • Birds have the right of way on all highways.
  • In Salt Lake County an official milkman is limited to casual contact with his customers. (What’s all this about milk in Utah?)
  • A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
  • No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call. (So turn the sirens off??)
  • It is illegal to cause a catastrophe. (So are these laws not breaking this law?)

 .

 .

VERMONT

  • Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth. (By gum!)
  • At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
  • All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.

 .

 .

VIRGINIA

  • Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary. (Just how did the people who thought this one up think that they were going to enforce it?)
  • It is illegal to tickle women. (You just said that, see above!)
  • A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman’s derriere. (How long for a good slap?)
  • Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.

 .

 .

WASHINGTON

  • The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment. (Do tell how exactly do you harass an ‘undiscovered’ species? Wouldn’t you have to discover it first, and once discovered it is no longer ‘undiscovered’ and therefore can be harassed?)
  • All lollipops are banned. (This law really sucks.)
  • People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
  • In Washington it is a misdemeanor to sell poison without a license.
  • In Seattle possessing an electro-magnetic wave generator is a crime.
  • It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich. (Can you pretend that they are poor?)
  • You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. (And where would you be able to conceal it anyway?)

 .

 .

WEST VIRGINIA

  • It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. (And I would imagine dangerous if it does!)
  • It is illegal to snooze on a train.
  • One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
  • Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.

 .

 .

WISCONSIN

  • Condoms were considered an obscene article and had to be hidden behind the pharmacist’s counter.
  • At one time, margarine was illegal.
  • It is illegal to kiss on a train.
  • It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair. (People from Brazil please take special note.)
  • The government may not prohibit manual flushed urinals. (That’s handy.)
  • Cheddar cheese must be “highly pleasing”.
  • Followers of the Ho-Chunk religion may hunt deer without a license.
  • It is illegal to produce baby Swiss cheese without well-developed eyes. (Otherwise how could you see what you were doing… Duh!!)

 .

 .

WYOMING

  • If one is drunk in a mine, he or she could land in jail for up to a year. (Prospects aren’t good then?)
  • It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking. (Iron or wooden?)
  • You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit. (That really bugs me.)
  • It is illegal to charge for the use of a toilet. (No sh**!)

 .

 .

===============================

Stupid Politicians And Bureaucrats Make What? Yes, That’s Right – Stupid Laws

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

There has to be a little bit of truth at least in the saying that you get the politicians you deserve. If you vote for morons then I’m afraid the odds are that you’ll get stupid laws, rules and regulations.

It’s a worldwide disease, but here is a continuation from last Wednesday of some of the lesser known laws that govern the good citizens in the United States (listed by state alphabetically, last week we covered A to L, this week it’s the M’s and N’s.).

Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).  

 .

 .

MAINE

  • To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law. (Finally a law that is half sensible.)
  • Mercury thermometers may not be sold in the city.
  • It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. (Hmmm, so that’s why there’s always a cop car outside it.)

 .

 .

MARYLAND

  • It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies. (So dinner and a what then?)
  • An establishment using a strobe light must post a warning sign for epileptics. (They might have a fit if you didn’t.)
  • You may not curse inside the city limits. (WTF!)
  • It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. (Mine has sleeves, they’re short, but it has sleeves.)
  • Any person caught committing adultery is subject to a $10 fine. (Bill Clinton would probably consider that good value for money!)

 .

 .

MASSACHUCETTS

  • At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. (That’s dead mean.)
  • It is a crime to own an explosive golf ball.
  • Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
  • All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (That’s the only day I go to Church.)
  • It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. (Oh, oh! I usually just take a shower.)
  • Selling arsenic-laced candy is subject to a $100 fine.
  • A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. (Yes, men are much better – awe, come on!)
  • Quakers and witches are banned.

 .

 .

MICHIGAN

  • Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
  • It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
  • Seducing or debauching an unmarried woman can earn five years in jail. (Or a much longer sentence if you have to marry her!)
  • It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. (What swine thought that one up?)
  • There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
  • In Flint one who wears “saggy pants” can be jailed for four months. 
  • A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission. (So can she get a hairdresser or another woman to do it?)

 .

 .

MINNESOTA

  • It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. (I thought it was just supposed to be tents? You know loitering within tent?? See what I did there???)
  • A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. (That one is quackers.)
  • Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. (Are they subject to a paltry fine?)
  • Red cars may not drive down Lake Street, Minnieapolis.
  • Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays. (Hot dog!)

 .

 .

MISSISSIPPI

  • If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
  • It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
  • A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her. (Who would do a thing like that?)
  • It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public. (Stiff penalties no doubt!)

 .

 .

MISSOURI

  • It is a crime to let an unaltered jackass run at large. (I’ve forgotten, who are Missouri’s Congressional Representatives?)
  • No person may own a PVC pipe. (No Blue Man Group in Missouri then.)
  • It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Like I said before, a good night out ruined.)
  • A milk man may not run while on duty. 
  • It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.  (And, I imagine, quite expensive.)
  • Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. (Good law, give ‘em something that can kill people instead of just annoy them.)

 .

 .

MONTANA

  • One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor. (You mean you have to do it for real?)
  • It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (Baaaaaaad law.)
  • In Helena it is an offence to let your water sprinkler wet a passer-by. (Well really, the very idea!)
  • It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail. (Try enforcing that one!)
  • It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. (Oh boy, knowing it’s illegal makes it even better!)
  • Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Without reservations?)
  • It is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket at city council proceedings.
  • Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated. (You hear that Frank?)

 .

 .

NEBRASKA

  • If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
  • It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. (Straight up?)
  • Doughnut holes may not be sold.
  • It is illegal to do a reverse bungee jump. (Surely that’s stretching things a bit?)

 .

 .

NEVADA

  • It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
  • A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. (Do I hear a stampede of cheapskates heading for Nevada?)
  • It is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk. (That’s okay, I usually just fall down.)
  • Owning a slave is against the law. (Er… isn’t it everywhere?)

 .

 .

NEW HAMPSHIRE

  • On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. (Remember to keep your eyes shut then.)
  • It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
  • Spite fences cannot be higher than five feet. (Try looking over that, shorty!)
  • A law against shooting humans has been repealed. (Hands up sucker!)

 .

 .

NEW JERSEY

  • It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder. (But weapons are okay?)
  • In Paterson it is illegal for an ice cream vendor to be annoying.
  • You cannot pump your own gas. (Oh yes I can, just listen.)
  • It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
  • It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
  • You may not slurp your soup. (But it tastes nicer that way.)

 .

 .

NEW MEXICO

  • Nudity is allowed, provided that male genitals are covered. (Bollocks!)
  • Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered. (Where’s the point?)
  • It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public. (Even their heads?)
  • Abusing a computer is a crime.
  • You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street in Las Cruces.

 .

 .

NEW YORK

  • Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (Provided what is not being used as a business?)
  • It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing”. (That’s the law lycra or not!)
  • Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”. (Now that would just be as dumb as this law, wouldn’t it?)
  • The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (I understand the gravity of this law.)
  • A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
  • While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. (Farting is permitted is it?)
  • Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 PM (When else would you wear them?)

 .

 .

NORTH CAROLINA

  • It’s against the law to sing off key. (Thank goodness Mrs Miller is from Missouri.)
  • In Transylvania County a Dalmation is deemed to be a “potentially dangerous” breed of dog. (Well spotted!)
  • Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
  • While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled. (Now that’s a new name for them!)
  • Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

 .

 .

NORTH DAKOTA

  • It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
  • Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
  • Only US Citizens can be appointed to the Dry Pea and Lentil Council. (Naturally! What would foreigners know about such things?)
  • It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. (How can you be on horseback and in a covered wagon at the same time?)
  • One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
  • A food seller cannot be held responsible for making someone fat.

 .

 .

====================================

. 

What Do Stupid Politicians And Bureaucrats Make? Yes, That’s Right – Stupid Laws

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

If you were ever in any doubt, let me assure you that when you elect morons to positions where they can legislate for the rest of us then you are assured that they will spend their time and our money making stupid laws, rules and regulations.

It happens in every country and in every state in every country. Such is the horrendous scale of the problem that I would be blogging forever if I tried to highlight worldwide stupidity, so as an example let’s look at some of the lesser known laws that govern citizens in the United States of America (I will list them state by state alphabetically. Part one today is A to L).

Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).

.

.
ALABAMA

  • It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses. 
  • In Alabama, it is against the law to wear a fake mustache that could cause laughter in the church. 
  • A voter spending more than four minutes in a voting booth can be asked to hurry up.

.

ALASKA

  • No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
  • A clumsy or unknowledgeable person may not use a ski-lift.
  • Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.
  • It is a crime to deceive a machine.

.

ARIZONA

  • Hunting camels is prohibited.
  • It is illegal to buy a human egg in order to clone yourself.
  • You may not leave a fishing pole unattended.
  • Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
  • You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

.

ARKANSAS

  • A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (Ridiculous idea!)
  • Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. (How about a “woof”?) 
  • It is against the law to own a dangerous cat.

.

CALFORNIA

  • The Shell Egg Advisory Committee must have seven members.
  • City Council order reads: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.” (A little bit of role reversal there.)
  • In Chino, testing a nuclear device within the city limits is prohibited.
  • Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood took the chair – as mayor, I mean)
  • If you are selling your house you must warn potential buyers if the house is thought to be haunted.

.

COLORADO

  • It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property. (I’m so cross I could spit!)
  • It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. (Quite right too, let them wallow in their filth and bring the whole neighborhood image down.)

.

CONNECTICUT

  • In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
  • Selling a spool of thread without first stating its length is subject to a penalty of up to three months in prison.
  • It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. (And just plain dumb to do it in daylight.)
  • It is illegal to sell milk from skinny cows.
  • You may not educate dogs. (Or legislators, it seems!)
  • It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

.

DELAWARE

  • No person shall pretend to sleep on a bench on the boardwalk. (But actually sleeping is okay?)
  • One may not whisper in church. (But if we talk loudly won’t it disrupt the Service?)

.

FLORIDA

  • Doors of all public buildings must open outwards. (Pushist legislation if ever I saw it.)
  • It is illegal for female hot dog stand attendants to wear G-strings. 
  • A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
  • In West Palm Beach it is a crime to hang a carpet in public.
  • Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (And bloody dangerous I would imagine!)
  • You may not kiss your wife’s breasts. (But someone else’s wife is okay?)

.

GEORGIA

  • It is a crime to sell your child off to a circus. 
  • The term “sadomasochistic abuse” is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.
  • It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office. (FFS, oops!)
  • No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. (Don’t they mean “a Sundae”?)
  • One is not permitted to noodle a fish. (I don’t know what this means but it sounds a bit pervy.)
  • Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. (There it is again, what’s going on?)
  • All citizens must own a rake. (Leaf us alone!)

.

HAWAII

  • All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. (Canoe believe this one?)
  • In Maui County building an atomic bomb is subject to a fine.
  • Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears. (They’ll have to make change here.)

.

IDAHO

  • It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
  • You may not fish on a camel’s back. (I take the hump at that rule.)
  • Cannibalism is prohibited unless under life threatening situations. 
  • Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back. (They’ve got some neck on them!)
  • It is a crime for anyone who is not blind to use a white cane.
  • A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face. (Another good reason for reading the fasab blog!)

.

ILLINOIS

  • You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. (The buck stops here.)
  • The English language is not to be spoken. (That’s becoming more and more true of a lot of states in the US)
  • In Minooka it is illegal to “suffer any bitch or slut”
  • One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth. (Just how much of this was going on that they thought they needed a law against it? Or is someone just taking the piss??)
  • Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. (The hell with that.)
  • In Joliet the word “Joliet” must be pronounced properly, with the accent on the first syllable.
  • It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. (What a waste, I wouldn’t dream of it.)
  • In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. (There goes a good night out!)
  • It is against the law to sell a smelly mattress. 
  • Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. (I guess I’ll have to take a bath Saturdays in Illinois.)
  • Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

.

INDIANA

  • Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide. (Even for single beds?)
  • Stupefying fish is against the law.
  • The value of Pi is 3. (No it isn’t.)
  • It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public. (That a hard one – to enforce I mean!)
  • Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. (Definitely have to remember to stay out of Illinois then.)
  • Possessing a weapon of mass destruction is against the law.
  • It is against the law to pass a horse on the street. (Even if it is coming from the other direction?)

.

IOWA

  • A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
  • It is illegal to catch more than 48 frogs in one day.
  • One-armed piano players must perform for free.
  • Within the city limits of Ottumwa, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

. 

KANSAS

  • Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. (How illuminating.)
  • It is against the law to modify the weather without a permit.
  • No one may catch fish with his bare hands. 
  • The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
  • If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. (That law will get us nowhere.)
  • No one may sing the alphabet on the streets at night. (What’s the penalty for lettering?)

.

KENTUCKY

  • One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
  • One may not receive anal sex. (No problem.)
  • Nudist colonies must make themselves available for inspection by the local sheriff. 
  • A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission. (So that’s why they went out of fashion.)

.

LOUISIANA

  • It is a $500 fine to instruct a pizza delivery man to deliver a pizza to your friend without them knowing.
  • It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. (Okay, if I ever do that I’ll use a real gun.)
  • Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault”. (If you have no teeth can you just give them a big suck?)

.

================================