It’s Time For – The BIG Christmas Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Christmas week again folks and another year almost gone.

Time of course for the BIG Christmas quiz.

Some of the questions are fairly easy, but one or two will keep you thinking for a while.

So grab a cup of coffee, or something stronger if you like, and test your knowledge of Christmas and things Christmasy.

And, as always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy, good luck, and a very Merry Christmas.

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The BIG Christmas Quiz

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Q.  1:  In which country does Santa have his own personal postcode ‘HOH OHO’?

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Q.  2:  Which Christmas plant takes its name from the first US Minister to Mexico?

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Q.  3:  What date is St Stephen’s Day?

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Q.  4:  The song ‘White Christmas’ was first performed in which 1942 movie?

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Q.  5:  Who is officially credited as the author of ‘Auld Lang Syne’?

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Q.  6:  ‘Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents’ is the opening line from which classic novel?

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Q.  7:  Which Christmas carol includes the lyrics ‘…To save us all from Satan’s power, when we were gone astray..’?

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Q.  8:  In ‘The Twelve Days Of Christmas’, what were there eight of?

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Q.  9:  If you’ve watched a TV show like ‘The Sopranos’ you’ve probably heard the term ‘Bada Bing’, but in what country is Christmas known as ‘Bada Din’ (the big day)?

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Q. 10:  Which of Santa’s reindeer shares its name with a mythical god of love?

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Q. 11:  What color are the berries of the mistletoe plant?

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Q. 12:  The character ‘Jack Skellington’ appears in which 1993 Tim Burton movie?

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Q. 13:  What’s the second line of “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas“?

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Q. 14:  Marzipan is made (conventionally in the western world) mainly from sugar and the flour or meal of which nut?

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Q. 15:  In the inspirational 1946 movie, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, what’s the name of George Bailey’s guardian angel?

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Q. 16:  What Christmas item was invented by London baker and wedding-cake specialist Tom Smith in 1847?

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Q. 17:  We all know that “Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephan” and that he liked his pizzas deep pan crisp and even, but in which country was Wenceslas king?

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Q. 18:  Who wrote ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’?

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Q. 19:  Who were first people to visit the baby Jesus?

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Q. 20:  A Christmas present for country western fans. Who sang “It was Christmas in prison the food was real good, we had turkey and pistols carved out of wood”

            a) Willy Nelson        b) Johnny Cash        c) John Prine        d) Garth Brooks

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Q. 21:  What do George C. Scott, Alastair Sim, Daffy Duck, Patrick Stewart, Michael Caine, Fred Flintstone and Jim Carrey all have in common?

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Q. 22:  Which Christmas condiment is made from fruit sometimes referred to as ‘marshworts’?

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Q. 23:  The American ad writer Robert L. May invented which colorful Christmas character in 1939? 

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Q. 24:  ‘Three Kings Day’ is known by what numerical name in Britain?

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Q. 25:  What Angel visited Mary?

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Q. 26:  Which Christmas slogan was introduced by Clarissa Baldwin of Dogs Trust in 1978?

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Q. 27:  Peter Auty sang ‘Walking In The Air’ in what Christmas time movie?

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Q. 28:  What do American singer and actor Dean Martin, actress and singer Eartha Kitt, and Charlie Chaplin all have in common?

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Q. 29:  In the song The Twelve Days of Christmas, ‘…my true love brought to me nine…’ what?

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Q. 30:  Which American-born English poet, having first names Thomas Stearns, wrote the poem ‘The Cultivation Of Christmas Trees’?

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Q. 31:  Who composed the music known as ‘The Nutcracker Suite’, for the Christmas themed ballet The Nutcracker, premiered in St Petersburg, 1892?

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Q. 32:  What is the surname of the family in the 1989 movie ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’?

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Q. 33:  Patra, the birthplace of the original Santa Claus, St Nicholas, is in which modern country?

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Q. 34:  How many of Rudolph’s eight companions names start with ‘D’? (A point for the correct number and bonus points for each one you can name correctly.)

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Q. 35:  Which southern central US state, whose capital city has the same name, was the last to recognize Christmas as an official holiday?

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Q. 36:  Under which Puritan leader did the English parliament pass a law banning Christmas in 1647?

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Q. 37:  In the song ‘The Twelve Days Of Christmas‘, how many swans were a-swimming?

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Q. 38:  Why were Joseph and the expectant Mary on the road to Bethlehem in the first place?

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Q. 39:  In which country was Boxing Day renamed ‘Day of Goodwill’ in 1994?

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Q. 40:  How many Lords-a-leaping are there in ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’?

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Q. 41:  In which American state would you find the city of Bethlehem? 

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Q. 42:  Which Hasbro children’s robot action figures were the most popular Christmas presents in 1984?

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Q. 43:  What Christmas item takes its name from the old French word ‘estincelle’, meaning spark?

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Q. 44:  In the movie ‘Jingle All The Way’ name the toy Arnold Schwarzenegger was hunting?

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Q. 45:  Which famous mathematician was born on Boxing Day in 1791?

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Q. 46:  What does the word ‘Christ’ mean? 

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Q. 47:  Which 1987 action/comedy movie opens to the music of ‘Jingle Bell Rock’?   

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Q. 48:  What Apple product was reportedly the most popular Christmas gift in 2007?

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Q. 49:  A lot of them have already been mentioned in this quiz, so how many presents were given in total in the 12 Days of Christmas?

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Q. 50:  In the Christmas carol, which town is known as ‘Royal David’s City’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  In which country does Santa have his own personal postcode ‘HOH OHO’?

A.  1:  Canada.

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Q.  2:  Which Christmas plant takes its name from the first US Minister to Mexico?

A.  2:  Poinsettia.

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Q.  3:  What date is St Stephen’s Day?

A.  3:  26th December.

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Q.  4:  The song ‘White Christmas’ was first performed in which 1942 movie?

A.  4:  Holiday Inn.

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Q.  5:  Who is officially credited as the author of ‘Auld Lang Syne’?

A.  5:  Robert Burns.

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Q.  6:  ‘Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents’ is the opening line from which classic novel?

A.  6:  Little Women.

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Q.  7:  Which Christmas carol includes the lyrics ‘…To save us all from Satan’s power, when we were gone astray..’?

A.  7:  God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

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Q.  8:  In ‘The Twelve Days Of Christmas’, what were there eight of?

A.  8:  Maids-a-milking.

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Q.  9:  If you’ve watched a TV show like ‘The Sopranos’ you’ve probably heard the term ‘Bada Bing’, but in what country is Christmas known as ‘Bada Din’ (the big day)?

A.  9:  India.

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Q. 10:  Which of Santa’s reindeer shares its name with a mythical god of love?

A. 10:  Cupid.

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Q. 11:  What color are the berries of the mistletoe plant?

A. 11:  White.

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Q. 12:  The character ‘Jack Skellington’ appears in which 1993 Tim Burton movie?

A. 12:  The Nightmare before Christmas.

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Q. 13:  What’s the second line of “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas”?

A. 13:  “Just like the ones I used to know”.

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Q. 14:  Marzipan is made (conventionally in the western world) mainly from sugar and the flour or meal of which nut?

A. 14:  Almond.

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Q. 15:  In the inspirational 1946 movie, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, what is the name of George Bailey’s guardian angel?

A. 15:  Clarence (Oddbody).

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Q. 16:  What Christmas item was invented by London baker and wedding-cake specialist Tom Smith in 1847?

A. 16:  Christmas cracker.

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Q. 17:  We all know that “Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephan” and that he liked his pizzas deep pan crisp and even, but in which country was Wenceslas king?

A. 17:  Bohemia (Czech Republic)

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Q. 18:  Who wrote ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’?

A. 18:  Dr Seuss.

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Q. 19:  Who were first people to visit the baby Jesus?

A. 19:  Shepherds.

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Q. 20:  A Christmas present for country western fans. Who sang “It was Christmas in prison the food was real good, we had turkey and pistols carved out of wood”

    a. Willy Nelson    b. Johnny Cash    c. John Prine    d. Garth Brooks

A. 20:  Answer c. John Prine (‘Christmas in prison’ from the album Sweet Revenge)

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Q. 21:  What do George C. Scott, Alastair Sim, Daffy Duck, Patrick Stewart, Michael Caine, Fred Flintstone and Jim Carrey all have in common?

A. 21:  They have all played the role of Ebenezer Scrooge in movies or television.

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Q. 22:  Which Christmas condiment is made from fruit sometimes referred to as ‘marshworts’?

A. 22:  Cranberry sauce.

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Q. 23:  The American ad writer Robert L. May invented which colorful Christmas character in 1939?   

A. 23:  Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  

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Q. 24:  ‘Three Kings Day’ is known by what numerical name in Britain?

A. 24:  Twelfth Night.

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Q. 25:  What Angel visited Mary?

A. 25:  Gabriel.

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Q. 26:  Which Christmas slogan was introduced by Clarissa Baldwin of Dogs Trust in 1978?

A. 26:  A Dog Is For Life, Not Just For Christmas.

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Q. 27:  Peter Auty sang ‘Walking In The Air’ in what Christmas time movie?

A. 27:  The Snowman.

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Q. 28:  What do American singer and actor Dean Martin, actress and singer Eartha Kitt, and Charlie Chaplin all have in common?

A. 28:  All died on Christmas day.

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Q. 29:  In the song The Twelve Days of Christmas, ‘…my true love brought to me nine…’ what?

A. 29:  Ladies dancing.

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Q. 30:  Which American-born English poet, having first names Thomas Stearns, wrote the poem ‘The Cultivation Of Christmas Trees’?

A. 30:  T S Eliot.

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Q. 31:  Who composed the music known as ‘The Nutcracker Suite’, for the Christmas themed ballet The Nutcracker, premiered in St Petersburg, 1892?

A. 31:  Tchaikovsky.

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Q. 32:  What is the surname of the family in the 1989 movie ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’?

A. 32:  Griswold.

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Q. 33:  Patra, the birthplace of the original Santa Claus, St Nicholas, is in which modern country?

A. 33:  Turkey.

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Q. 34:  How many of Rudolph’s eight companions names start with ‘D’? (A point for the correct number and bonus points for each one you can name correctly.)

A. 34:  Three – Dasher, Dancer and Donner

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Q. 35:  Which southern central US state, whose capital city has the same name, was the last to recognize Christmas as an official holiday?

A. 35:  Oklahoma.

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Q. 36:  Under which Puritan leader did the English parliament pass a law banning Christmas in 1647?

A. 36:  Oliver Cromwell.

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Q. 37:  In the song ‘The Twelve Days Of Christmas’, how many swans were a-swimming?

A. 37:  Seven.

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Q. 38:  Why were Joseph and the expectant Mary on the road to Bethlehem in the first place?

A. 38:  To pay tax (and take part in a census). 

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Q. 39:  In which country was Boxing Day renamed ‘Day of Goodwill’ in 1994?

A. 39:  South Africa

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Q. 40:  How many Lords-a-leaping are there in ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’?

A. 40:  10.

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Q. 41:  In which American state would you find the city of Bethlehem?   

A. 41:  Pennsylvania 

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Q. 42:  Which Hasbro children’s robot action figures were the most popular Christmas presents in 1984?

A. 42:  The Transformers    

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Q. 43:  What Christmas item takes its name from the old French word ‘estincelle’, meaning spark?

A. 43:  Tinsel.

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Q. 44:  In the movie ‘Jingle All The Way’ name the toy Arnold Schwarzenegger was hunting?

A. 44:  Turbo Man.

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Q. 45:  Which famous mathematician was born on Boxing Day in 1791?

A. 45:  Charles Babbage.

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Q. 46:  What does the word ‘Christ’ mean?  

A. 46:  ‘Annointed’ (from the Greek ‘Xristo’).

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Q. 47:  Which 1987 action/comedy movie opens to the music of ‘Jingle Bell Rock;?   

A. 47:  Lethal Weapon

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Q. 48:  What Apple product was reportedly the most popular Christmas gift in 2007?

A. 48:  The iPod Touch.

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Q. 49:  How many presents were given in total in the 12 Days of Christmas?

A. 49:  364.

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Q. 50:  In the Christmas carol, which town is known as ‘Royal David’s City’?

A. 50:  Bethlehem.

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Ten!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Saturday, and time for another selection of the ever popular Classified Ads.

These attempts to sell goods and services didn’t quite reach the standard required to be themselves classified as intelligent communication.

They are funny though and thank goodness for that.

Enjoy!

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classified ad 216.

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drive through colon screening.

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classified ad 217.

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robotic prostrate surgery.

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classified ad 218.

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rectal rocket.

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classified ad 219.

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French and Fry.

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classified ad 220.

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device to cure sleepiness.

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classified ad 221

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Consultations.

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classified ad 222

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breast augmentation

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What Do Stupid Politicians And Bureaucrats Make? Yes, That’s Right – Stupid Laws

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If you were ever in any doubt, let me assure you that when you elect morons to positions where they can legislate for the rest of us then you are assured that they will spend their time and our money making stupid laws, rules and regulations.

It happens in every country and in every state in every country. Such is the horrendous scale of the problem that I would be blogging forever if I tried to highlight worldwide stupidity, so as an example let’s look at some of the lesser known laws that govern citizens in the United States of America (I will list them state by state alphabetically. Part one today is A to L).

Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).

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ALABAMA

  • It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses. 
  • In Alabama, it is against the law to wear a fake mustache that could cause laughter in the church. 
  • A voter spending more than four minutes in a voting booth can be asked to hurry up.

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ALASKA

  • No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
  • A clumsy or unknowledgeable person may not use a ski-lift.
  • Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.
  • It is a crime to deceive a machine.

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ARIZONA

  • Hunting camels is prohibited.
  • It is illegal to buy a human egg in order to clone yourself.
  • You may not leave a fishing pole unattended.
  • Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
  • You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

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ARKANSAS

  • A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (Ridiculous idea!)
  • Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. (How about a “woof”?) 
  • It is against the law to own a dangerous cat.

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CALFORNIA

  • The Shell Egg Advisory Committee must have seven members.
  • City Council order reads: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.” (A little bit of role reversal there.)
  • In Chino, testing a nuclear device within the city limits is prohibited.
  • Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood took the chair – as mayor, I mean)
  • If you are selling your house you must warn potential buyers if the house is thought to be haunted.

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COLORADO

  • It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property. (I’m so cross I could spit!)
  • It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. (Quite right too, let them wallow in their filth and bring the whole neighborhood image down.)

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CONNECTICUT

  • In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
  • Selling a spool of thread without first stating its length is subject to a penalty of up to three months in prison.
  • It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. (And just plain dumb to do it in daylight.)
  • It is illegal to sell milk from skinny cows.
  • You may not educate dogs. (Or legislators, it seems!)
  • It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

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DELAWARE

  • No person shall pretend to sleep on a bench on the boardwalk. (But actually sleeping is okay?)
  • One may not whisper in church. (But if we talk loudly won’t it disrupt the Service?)

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FLORIDA

  • Doors of all public buildings must open outwards. (Pushist legislation if ever I saw it.)
  • It is illegal for female hot dog stand attendants to wear G-strings. 
  • A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
  • In West Palm Beach it is a crime to hang a carpet in public.
  • Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (And bloody dangerous I would imagine!)
  • You may not kiss your wife’s breasts. (But someone else’s wife is okay?)

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GEORGIA

  • It is a crime to sell your child off to a circus. 
  • The term “sadomasochistic abuse” is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.
  • It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office. (FFS, oops!)
  • No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. (Don’t they mean “a Sundae”?)
  • One is not permitted to noodle a fish. (I don’t know what this means but it sounds a bit pervy.)
  • Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs. (There it is again, what’s going on?)
  • All citizens must own a rake. (Leaf us alone!)

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HAWAII

  • All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat. (Canoe believe this one?)
  • In Maui County building an atomic bomb is subject to a fine.
  • Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears. (They’ll have to make change here.)

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IDAHO

  • It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
  • You may not fish on a camel’s back. (I take the hump at that rule.)
  • Cannibalism is prohibited unless under life threatening situations. 
  • Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back. (They’ve got some neck on them!)
  • It is a crime for anyone who is not blind to use a white cane.
  • A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face. (Another good reason for reading the fasab blog!)

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ILLINOIS

  • You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. (The buck stops here.)
  • The English language is not to be spoken. (That’s becoming more and more true of a lot of states in the US)
  • In Minooka it is illegal to “suffer any bitch or slut”
  • One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth. (Just how much of this was going on that they thought they needed a law against it? Or is someone just taking the piss??)
  • Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. (The hell with that.)
  • In Joliet the word “Joliet” must be pronounced properly, with the accent on the first syllable.
  • It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. (What a waste, I wouldn’t dream of it.)
  • In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. (There goes a good night out!)
  • It is against the law to sell a smelly mattress. 
  • Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. (I guess I’ll have to take a bath Saturdays in Illinois.)
  • Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

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INDIANA

  • Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide. (Even for single beds?)
  • Stupefying fish is against the law.
  • The value of Pi is 3. (No it isn’t.)
  • It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public. (That a hard one – to enforce I mean!)
  • Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. (Definitely have to remember to stay out of Illinois then.)
  • Possessing a weapon of mass destruction is against the law.
  • It is against the law to pass a horse on the street. (Even if it is coming from the other direction?)

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IOWA

  • A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
  • It is illegal to catch more than 48 frogs in one day.
  • One-armed piano players must perform for free.
  • Within the city limits of Ottumwa, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

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KANSAS

  • Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights. (How illuminating.)
  • It is against the law to modify the weather without a permit.
  • No one may catch fish with his bare hands. 
  • The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
  • If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. (That law will get us nowhere.)
  • No one may sing the alphabet on the streets at night. (What’s the penalty for lettering?)

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KENTUCKY

  • One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
  • One may not receive anal sex. (No problem.)
  • Nudist colonies must make themselves available for inspection by the local sheriff. 
  • A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission. (So that’s why they went out of fashion.)

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LOUISIANA

  • It is a $500 fine to instruct a pizza delivery man to deliver a pizza to your friend without them knowing.
  • It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. (Okay, if I ever do that I’ll use a real gun.)
  • Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault”. (If you have no teeth can you just give them a big suck?)

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