This is a bit Donald Rumsfeld, but it is certainly true that the more of these facts I see, the more I know I don’t know, except I would know if I could remember them all.
But enough of that.
Let’s get on with today’s lot.
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The official state vegetable of Oklahoma
is the watermelon.
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Horses cannot breathe through their mouths.
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The word ‘Hazard’ comes from the Arabic ‘al zahr’ which means ‘the dice’.
The term came to be associated with dice during the Crusades
and eventually took on a negative connotation because
games of dice were associated with gambling.
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If you eat a teaspoon of sugar after eating something spicy,
it will completely neutralize the heat.
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When the oldest person on Earth was born,
there was a completely different set of people on the planet.
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The last veteran of the American Civil War died in 1956,
long enough to see the atomic bomb dropped in Japan.
Albert Henry Woolson, last surviving Civil War veteran on either side whose status is undisputed.
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A “butt load” is an actual unit of measurement,
equivalent to 126 gallons.
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The word ‘posh’, which denotes luxurious rooms or accommodations,
originated when ticket agents in England
marked the tickets of travelers going by ship to the Orient.
Since there was no air conditioning in those days,
it was always better to have a cabin on the shady side of the ship
as it passed through the Mediterranean and Suez area.
Since the sun is in the south, those with money paid extra
to get cabins on the left, or port, traveling to the Asia,
and on the right, or starboard, when returning to Europe.
Hence their tickets were marked with the initials for
Port Outbound Starboard Homebound, or POSH.
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Nepal is the only country without a rectangular flag,
it looks like two pennants glued one on top of the other.
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Dr Seuss wrote “Green Eggs And Ham”
to win a bet against his publisher
who thought that Seuss could not complete
a book using only 50 words.
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Crocodiles are more closely related to birds than to lizards.
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Not only was James Garfield ambidextrous,
he could write Latin with one hand
and Greek with the other at the same time.
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Shakespeare and Pocahontas
were alive at the same time.
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Kiribati is the first country in the world
that will be entirely lost due to rising sea levels.
Well if you can answer the question in the title of this post then you’re off to a good start. I know what my speel chekkar says, and I think that it is wrong.
Which brings me to another short semi-rant in the form of a question. Why does the WordPress speel chekkar keep highlighting the word “wordpress” as being spelled incorrectly?
Think on that as you tackle the rest of today’s (cue the wavy red line) conundra!
Enjoy.
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If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
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When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
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If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?
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If corn can’t hear, why does it have an ear?
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If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of?
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If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get?
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If I save time, when do I get it back?
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If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
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If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like?
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
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If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
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If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?
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Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
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If a mute child swears, does his mother wash his hands?
Today we have the third of my three-part series highlighting some of the stupid laws that have been made by the stupid politicians and bureaucrats that we have allowed into positions of power.
So here are some more of the lesser known laws that govern the good citizens in the United States (listed by state alphabetically, part 1 covered A to L, part 2 covered the M’s and N’s, this week it’s O to W.).
Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).
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OHIO
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public. (I hope that’s no reflection on them.)
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. (And immoral any other day.)
It is illegal to get a fish drunk. (Would Sir like some water with that?)
The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car. (But I want to ‘beep’.)
If one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour. (That’s greeeaaaatttttt!)
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OKLAHOMA
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. (And the real thing is okay???)
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots. (That reminds me of a joke about…… no, better not.)
People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed. (What happens if you just have a ugly face to begin with?)
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.
Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punishable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine. (Well, blow me, that’s expensive!)
It is illegal to conceal the birth of a child that would be a bastard. (But you never know how they are going to turn out until they get a bit older???)
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OREGON
Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car. (That’s okay, you need both hands to hang on to the car anyhow.)
It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex. (So where do you whisper them?)
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays. (Ridiculous!)
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property. (To pot with that!!)
You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street. (Well, maybe YOU can’t, but….)
Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license. (And quite difficult even with one.)
It is a crime to publicly scrape clean a skeleton in a cemetery. (And let’s make no bones about it.)
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PENNSYLVANIA
It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. (This is another one of those ‘how many people were doing this that a law was needed against it’ kind of things.)
Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. (Ya hear that one ladies?)
In Harrisburg it is against the law to wear lead nipple shields. (I bet Superman goes there – a lot!)
You may not sing in the bathtub.
You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. (I don’t think I could catch a fish with my mouth.)
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RHODE ISLAND
No one may bite off another’s leg. (Ears, noses, arms, etc., are okay?)
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. (I’m saying nothing.)
One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left. (Can do!)
The penalty for biting off another’s limb is twenty years in jail, but only if it was intentional. (Whoops, sorry, there’s your leg back. I didn’t mean it.)
It is illegal to wear transparent clothing. (Clearly!)
You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
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SOUTH CAROLINA
It is considered an offense to get a tattoo. (I just consider it stupid.)
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs. (I guess there’s no room, what with all the donkeys in there.)
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide. (You mean if you are attempting suicide or you can’t kill the person who is attempting suicide?)
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SOUTH DAKOTA
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. (But is there a law about cutting the cheese?)
If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.
In Huron it is an offence to cause static. (Shocking law that one.)
Otherwise illegal explosives can be set off in sunflower fields.
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TENNESSEE
It is a crime to share your Netflix password in Tennessee. (Is it okay in English?)
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. (And very difficult.)
“Crimes against nature” are prohibited.
Skunks may not be carried into the state. (Yeah, let the little stinkers walk.)
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TEXAS
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. (What sort of a guy ‘sips’ beer? Come on!)
Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
It is illegal to milk another person’s cow. (Is that a double entendre?)
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
In Dallas it is illegal to possess realistic dildos.
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UTAH
It is illegal not to drink milk.
It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
Birds have the right of way on all highways.
In Salt Lake County an official milkman is limited to casual contact with his customers. (What’s all this about milk in Utah?)
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call. (So turn the sirens off??)
It is illegal to cause a catastrophe. (So are these laws not breaking this law?)
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VERMONT
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth. (By gum!)
At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
All residents shall bathe every Saturday night.
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VIRGINIA
Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary. (Just how did the people who thought this one up think that they were going to enforce it?)
It is illegal to tickle women. (You just said that, see above!)
A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman’s derriere. (How long for a good slap?)
Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.
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WASHINGTON
The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment. (Do tell how exactly do you harass an ‘undiscovered’ species? Wouldn’t you have to discover it first, and once discovered it is no longer ‘undiscovered’ and therefore can be harassed?)
All lollipops are banned. (This law really sucks.)
People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
In Washington it is a misdemeanor to sell poison without a license.
In Seattle possessing an electro-magnetic wave generator is a crime.
It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich. (Can you pretend that they are poor?)
You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. (And where would you be able to conceal it anyway?)
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WEST VIRGINIA
It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. (And I would imagine dangerous if it does!)
It is illegal to snooze on a train.
One may not walk a lion, tiger or leopard, even on a leash.
Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.
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WISCONSIN
Condoms were considered an obscene article and had to be hidden behind the pharmacist’s counter.
At one time, margarine was illegal.
It is illegal to kiss on a train.
It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair. (People from Brazil please take special note.)
The government may not prohibit manual flushed urinals. (That’s handy.)
Cheddar cheese must be “highly pleasing”.
Followers of the Ho-Chunk religion may hunt deer without a license.
It is illegal to produce baby Swiss cheese without well-developed eyes. (Otherwise how could you see what you were doing… Duh!!)
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WYOMING
If one is drunk in a mine, he or she could land in jail for up to a year. (Prospects aren’t good then?)
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking. (Iron or wooden?)
You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit. (That really bugs me.)
It is illegal to charge for the use of a toilet. (No sh**!)
There has to be a little bit of truth at least in the saying that you get the politicians you deserve. If you vote for morons then I’m afraid the odds are that you’ll get stupid laws, rules and regulations.
It’s a worldwide disease, but here is a continuation from last Wednesday of some of the lesser known laws that govern the good citizens in the United States (listed by state alphabetically, last week we covered A to L, this week it’s the M’s and N’s.).
Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).
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MAINE
To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law. (Finally a law that is half sensible.)
Mercury thermometers may not be sold in the city.
It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. (Hmmm, so that’s why there’s always a cop car outside it.)
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MARYLAND
It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies. (So dinner and a what then?)
An establishment using a strobe light must post a warning sign for epileptics. (They might have a fit if you didn’t.)
You may not curse inside the city limits. (WTF!)
It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. (Mine has sleeves, they’re short, but it has sleeves.)
Any person caught committing adultery is subject to a $10 fine. (Bill Clinton would probably consider that good value for money!)
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MASSACHUCETTS
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. (That’s dead mean.)
It is a crime to own an explosive golf ball.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (That’s the only day I go to Church.)
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. (Oh, oh! I usually just take a shower.)
Selling arsenic-laced candy is subject to a $100 fine.
A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. (Yes, men are much better – awe, come on!)
Quakers and witches are banned.
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MICHIGAN
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
Seducing or debauching an unmarried woman can earn five years in jail. (Or a much longer sentence if you have to marry her!)
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. (What swine thought that one up?)
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Flint one who wears “saggy pants” can be jailed for four months.
A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission. (So can she get a hairdresser or another woman to do it?)
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MINNESOTA
It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. (I thought it was just supposed to be tents? You know loitering within tent?? See what I did there???)
A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. (That one is quackers.)
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. (Are they subject to a paltry fine?)
Red cars may not drive down Lake Street, Minnieapolis.
Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays. (Hot dog!)
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MISSISSIPPI
If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her. (Who would do a thing like that?)
It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public. (Stiff penalties no doubt!)
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MISSOURI
It is a crime to let an unaltered jackass run at large. (I’ve forgotten, who are Missouri’s Congressional Representatives?)
No person may own a PVC pipe. (No Blue Man Group in Missouri then.)
It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Like I said before, a good night out ruined.)
A milk man may not run while on duty.
It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants. (And, I imagine, quite expensive.)
Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. (Good law, give ‘em something that can kill people instead of just annoy them.)
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MONTANA
One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor. (You mean you have to do it for real?)
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (Baaaaaaad law.)
In Helena it is an offence to let your water sprinkler wet a passer-by. (Well really, the very idea!)
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail. (Try enforcing that one!)
It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. (Oh boy, knowing it’s illegal makes it even better!)
Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Without reservations?)
It is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket at city council proceedings.
Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated. (You hear that Frank?)
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NEBRASKA
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. (Straight up?)
Doughnut holes may not be sold.
It is illegal to do a reverse bungee jump. (Surely that’s stretching things a bit?)
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NEVADA
It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. (Do I hear a stampede of cheapskates heading for Nevada?)
It is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk. (That’s okay, I usually just fall down.)
Owning a slave is against the law. (Er… isn’t it everywhere?)
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NEW HAMPSHIRE
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. (Remember to keep your eyes shut then.)
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
Spite fences cannot be higher than five feet. (Try looking over that, shorty!)
A law against shooting humans has been repealed. (Hands up sucker!)
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NEW JERSEY
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder. (But weapons are okay?)
In Paterson it is illegal for an ice cream vendor to be annoying.
You cannot pump your own gas. (Oh yes I can, just listen.)
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
You may not slurp your soup. (But it tastes nicer that way.)
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NEW MEXICO
Nudity is allowed, provided that male genitals are covered. (Bollocks!)
Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered. (Where’s the point?)
It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public. (Even their heads?)
Abusing a computer is a crime.
You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street in Las Cruces.
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NEW YORK
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (Provided what is not being used as a business?)
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing”. (That’s the law lycra or not!)
Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”. (Now that would just be as dumb as this law, wouldn’t it?)
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (I understand the gravity of this law.)
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. (Farting is permitted is it?)
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 PM (When else would you wear them?)
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NORTH CAROLINA
It’s against the law to sing off key. (Thank goodness Mrs Miller is from Missouri.)
In Transylvania County a Dalmation is deemed to be a “potentially dangerous” breed of dog. (Well spotted!)
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled. (Now that’s a new name for them!)
Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
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NORTH DAKOTA
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Only US Citizens can be appointed to the Dry Pea and Lentil Council. (Naturally! What would foreigners know about such things?)
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. (How can you be on horseback and in a covered wagon at the same time?)
One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
A food seller cannot be held responsible for making someone fat.
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