Did You Know? – Facts, Facts, And More Facts!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another fact filled post for you.

The usual random mixture, so pick out the ones you like best.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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Until 2001 Disney required that all cast members

playing costumed park characters

share communal underwear.

Talk about getting into your pants!

Disney costumed park characters

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Muscle comes from a Latin root meaning ‘little mouse’.

Apparently people used to think muscles

looked like little mice under their skin.

Muscle

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Scotland is as far north as Alaska.

map north america and europe

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NASA lost a Mars orbiter because part of the team

used metric units and the other half used English.

NASA lost a Mars orbiter

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The Chernobyl disaster remains the only level 7 incident

on the International Nuclear Event Scale (INES)

making it the biggest man-made disaster of all time.

Chernobyl disaster

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The US government placed some beer

next to an atomic bomb blast

to determine if it was still drinkable.

The good news is that in the event of a

nuclear war beer is safe to drink.

beer next to an atomic bomb blast

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A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball

(a bit bigger than a cricket ball).

soft ball

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Calvin Coolidge would occasionally press all the buttons in the Oval Office,

sending bells ringing throughout the White House

— and then hide to watch his staff run in.

Apparently he just wanted to see who was working.

Calvin Coolidge

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Men with hairless chests are more likely to

get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

hairy chest

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A fact in honor of the World Cup currently underway in Brazil.

The word Soccer actually originated in the United Kingdom.

Association Football was shortened to “socca”

(derived from the middle of the word association).

This turned into the word “soccer”

that is still used in the US, Canada, and Australia.

soccer Brazil World Cup 2014

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The day of his assassination,

Martin Luther King Jr.

got in a pillow fight in his hotel room.

Martin Luther King Jr

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Cows have best friends and they tend

to spend most of their time together.

Cows

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The Dutch discovered Australia 100 years before the British

but decided to ignore it because they thought it was a useless desert.

Crikey!

Australia

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There is a ‘zip bomb’ called 42.zip

that is only 42 kilobytes when zipped,

but is 4.5 Petabytes uncompressed.

Be careful clicking on those email attachments!

42.zip

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4’33? (pronounced “Four minutes, thirty-three seconds”

or just “Four thirty-three”) is a three-movement composition

by American experimental composer John Cage

for any instrument or combination of instruments,

and the score instructs the performer(s) not to play their instrument(s)

during the entire duration of the piece throughout the three movements.

Here it is…… No it’s not. What would be the point of that???

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I’ll Never Predict The Future.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Except to predict that you are about to read another selection of those plays on words we call puns.

You’ve come too far to stop now, so you might as well…..

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl .

First some breaking news:

Apple is to start going door to door in a

new marketing effort to sell more of their products

The new sales team members will be known as

iWitnesses.

iwitnesses

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Just got myself a new job working at the

end of the production line in a vodka factory.

I’m making an Absolut packet.

absolut

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When a married couple fall out

about who makes the best coffee

is it grounds for divorce?

bad_coffee_is_grounds_for_divorce_coffee_mug

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Whenever my car breaks down

I take it to my Scottish friend.

Andy McCannick.

Andy McCannick

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My wife curses uncontrollably

when she chews her gum.

She’s got Nicorettes.

Nicorette Gum

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My boss always asks for help with Excel.

My skills are =A1.

excel2

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I’m having trouble keeping my hands warm

with these new fingerless gloves…

Any tips?

Fingerless_Gloves

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I was sat in my front lounge last night when my ex

drove past and threw a can of paint at my window.

I hate it when women get emulsional.

window splattered with paint

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I went out to the shop earlier to buy a book called

“100 Ways How To Build Confidence”.

I couldn’t buy it though,

the guy at the till would have laughed at me.

100 ways to build confidence

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I switched the letters ‘T’ and ‘K’ on my

computer to make it a little bit different.

Now it’s a QWERKY keyboard.

QWERKY keyboard

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Edward Deidde,

the man who spent his entire life explaining

that his surname was “deed” has collapsed.

He was airlifted to hospital

where he was pronounced dead.

confused-doctor-on-shutterstock

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Silent but deadly farts apparently do not count

as having an air of mystery about me.

Silent but deadly farts

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I told my butler a joke about firing him

because the doorbell rang all day.

He didn’t get it.

butler

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So it turns out ornithologists are not the experts

on sexual arousal I had assumed them to be.

ornithologists

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In case the country gets invaded and I have to quickly hide,

I have a big pop art painting on my wall

that hides a secret panic room.

I call it my handy war hole.

Warhol-Campbell_Soup-1-screenprint-1968

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Shortbread… They’re not making it any longer!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, as always the clue is in the title.

It’s pun day!

Enjoy – you know you do.

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I’ve just got a make-shift job

at the computer keyboard factory.

shift key

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A Limbo dancer married a Locksmith yesterday…

…the wedding was low key.

Limbo

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As a paranoid schizophrenic, I take

the elevator alone to my top floor apartment…

I can’t handle the stares.

paranoid schizophrenic

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I do all my addition in my head.

It’s the thought that counts.

maths

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My teacher said to our class the

other day that she hates suck-ups.

I couldn’t agree more. 

sucking-up-cartoon

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I was just about to nail some shelves to the wall.

Then I thought, screw it.

wall-shelves

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Corrugated roofs.

are really groovy.

corrugated-roof-of-a-building

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So they finally found Osama a couple of years ago,

talk Abbotabad place to hide!

hideout-house-of-slain-al-qaeda-leader-osama-bin-laden-in-abbottabad

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What do cheap hotels and

tight designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom.

tight jeans

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When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia

was asked if he knew where he was going he replied

“off course”

Costa Concordia

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Woke up this morning after a heavy night

of drinking to find out that I’d gone bald.

Which is strange because normally

I go for brunettes. 

bald

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A tennis ball walks into a bar.

The barman says,

“Have you been served?”

tenis ball

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My horse had a win at the races today.

I have no idea how he filled in the betting slip.

horse cartoon

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I saw two people hailing a taxi today and thought:

“What strange religion do they belong to?”

hailing taxi

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Princess Diana died on the 31 August 1997

having been staying at the Ritz, Paris.

Margaret Thatcher died April 8, 2013

having been staying at the Ritz, London.

I’ve been saying it’s a conspiracy for years

but everyone else thinks it’s just crackers.

nabisco-ritz-crackers

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My maths teacher asked me,

“Do you understand inequalities?”

I replied, “More or less.”

cartoon inequalities

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Without a doubt, my favorite

Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire. 

Mrs Doubtfire

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I’ve got a friend who’s a female private investigator.

Although he prefers to be called a gynecologist.

gynae

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There’s two things I don’t like about a politician,

his face.

two-faced-2

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Saw a woman today who opened the door in her nightie.

I thought, “That’s a funny place for a door.” 

door_in_her_nightie_____by_boblea

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