Whiteboards Are Remarkable!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


What was that? Whiteboards are remarkable?

Yes, another pun day awaits below.




My New Zealand girlfriend said that

she was falling in love with my rubbish puns,

so I asked her to maori me.


My boss said I couldn’t park my monster truck in the work car park.

So I went over her head.


When my grandfather passed away,

I had his ashes kept in an old bottle of vodka.

I know he’s not here right now,

but he’s with me in spirit.


Feminism is sooooo cute.

feminist cartoon

My wife also left me because of my constant animal puns.

She just couldn’t Bear it…

So she Swanned off…

And took the Kids…

Well at least I no longer have to listen to her bleating on…

otter nonsense

I rang the local ramblers club yesterday.

The bloke at the other end went on and on and on.

ramblers cartoon

Some say a world without sin is ideal,

but there are only so many problems which can be answered

with cos and tan.


The worst pub I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle.

It really was a vile inn.


If you’re always organizing things, you have OCD.

If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD.

ocd cartoon

This girl came up to me today and

said she recognized me from vegetarian club.

I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.


How did I get out of Iraq?


Iran David_Pope_Iraq_cartoon_Inkspot

I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length.

Must be some kind of milestone.    

measurement chart-length

I’m not a competitive person…

I’ll be the first to admit it.    


Me and my friend have just been fighting

over which is the best vowel.

I won.      


Iron man.

What a Fe male.


Today, I walked into a restaurant.

“Hi, is my table ready?”

“No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?”

“No, that’s okay.”

“Great, take these to table six then.”


What should you say when you see one of the toddlers

on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey?

ICU baby, shaking that ass.





Paddling In The Shallow End – More Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

They’re at it again. Joe Public and friends have been let loose on several more quiz shows to let the world at large see the depth of their knowledge. Suffice to say we will all be paddling in the shallow end today.




Q:  There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?

A:  Jelly.

states of matter



Q:  How many Olympic Games have been held?

A:  Six.

Q:  Higher!

A:  Five.

olympic games logo



Q:  In which country is Mount Everest?

A: (long pause): Er, it’s not in Scotland, is it?

Scots mountaineer



Q:  We’re looking for an occupation beginning with T.

A:  Doctor.

Q:  No, it’s ‘T’. ‘T’ for Tommy. ‘T’ for Tango.

A:  Oh, (pause) Doctor.




Q:  Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?

A:  I need a clue.

Q:  OK. What do beans come in?

A:  Cartons?

beans in cans



Q:  In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.

A:  Er. . . Tony Brown. . . and Nigel Benn. (Silence.)

Nigel Benn boxer!
Nigel Benn boxer!



Q:  What is the Italian word for ‘motorway’?

A:  Expresso.




Q:  The action of which Shakespeare play takes place between dusk on January 5 and dawn on January 6?

A:  A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Shakespeare, to blog or not to blog



Q:  Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?

A:  No, it was a dinosaur.

Cartoon Tyrannosaurus Rex



Q:  Name the German national airline.

A:  The Luftwaffe.

Luftwaffe logo



Q:  What is the name of the cord cut after a woman gives birth?

A:  Biblical cord.

biblical cord cartoon



Q:  Which classical composer became deaf in later life: Ludwig van . . ?

A:  Van Gogh.




Q:  Name a selection of small, highly colored sweets known as Dolly . . ?

A:  Parton.

Dolly Parton



Q:  Name a famous bridge.

A:  The Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

Bridge Over Troubled Water



Q:  In 1863, which American president gave the Gettysburg Address?

A:  I don’t know, it was before I was born.

Lincoln's Gettysburg Address



Q:  In the 1940s, which politician was responsible for the welfare state: William . . who?

A:  The Conqueror.

William the Conqueror cartoon



Q:  What is the name of the primitive language used by the Ancient Egyptians and painted on walls?

A:  Hydraulics.

cartoon egyptian



Q:  In science, what is botany the study of?

A:  Bottoms.

bottoms up