Pandering To The Stupidest – The Warning Signs Continue.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pandering to the stupidest people in society has become the norm.

All that does is drag everyone closer to their level of stupidity, but apparently the equally stupid people in charge think that’s the way it has to be.

They’ve even managed to get stupid people to write the stupid signs for the other stupid people.

Sound like a conspiracy to me, except they’re not smart enough for that.

Anyway, enough of my rant.

Just enjoy.

no stupid people beyond this point

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“Do not iron clothes on body.”

On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

 Rowenta iron

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“Do not drive car or operate machinery.”

On Boot’s children’s cough medicine.

 Boot's children's cough medicine

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“For indoor or outdoor use only.”

On a string of Christmas lights.

 string of Christmas lights

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“Wearing of this garment

does not enable you to fly.”

On a child sized Superman costume.

 child sized Superman costume

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“This door is alarmed from 7:00pm – 7:00am.”

On a hospital’s outside access door.

 hospital's outside access door

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“Beware!

To touch these wires is instant death.

Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.”

On a sign at a railroad station.

 To touch these wires is instant death

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“Warning:

do not use if you have prostate problems.”

On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

 Midol PMS relief tablets

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“Product will be hot after heating.”

On a supermarket dessert box.

 supermarket dessert box

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“Do not turn upside down.”

On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

 Do not turn upside down

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“Do not light in face.

Do not expose to flame.”

On a lighter.

 a lighter

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“Choking hazard:

This toy is a small ball.”

On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

 cheap rubber ball toy

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“Not for human consumption.”

On a package of dice.

package of dice

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For Sale: Replica Fisherman’s Knife (Made To Scale).

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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First pun day of August folks.

The months may change but pun day is forever, or until I run out of puns whichever comes first.

So here are today’s selection.

I hope you enjoy them.

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I’ve decided to take the day off today.

I’m just going to call it to.

day off cartoon

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I’m in a heavy metal band.

I play lead.

lead_pb_periodic_table_169

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I filled my car up with gasoline this morning.

Wish I hadn’t now, the seats are ruined.

gas fill

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Is nothing built in America any more?

I got a new TV the other day and on the box it said

‘BUILT IN ANTENNA’.

built in antenna

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My garden is only 36 inches wide.

More like a yard.

yard

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My grandfather is a Cold War veteran

He can’t afford to put the heating on.

grandpa

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It’s not hard getting to work in the snow,

you just need a bit of grit.

true grit

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My neighbor just showed me his new wind turbine.

I was blown away,

wind turbines

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Well the judge said that from now on

I can only see my children with supervision.

I said why, how far away will they be?

super-vision

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I dropped my cell phone in the bath yesterday.

I said to my wife, “My phone is finished”.

She said, “It might still work, have you tried ringing it?”

I said, “Yes, but not much water is coming out”.

cell-phone-dropped-in-water

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I just bought an alcoholic ginger beer.

He wasn’t pleased.

alcohol_cartoon

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Sometimes I enjoy my steak under cooked,

Of course, that’s rare.

barney-rubble-steak

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I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.

I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.

butler-cartoon

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In class today the teacher gave me a square piece of paper

and asked if I could turn it into an octagon.

“Sure,” I said. “I’ll have it done for next week, sir.”

“No, I need it now,” was the reply.

“Okay, I’ll have to cut a few corners though.”

octagon

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I was chatting to a couple of girls today.

I said, “Give me your numbers and we can go out for a drink sometime”.

One of the girls said, “Okay, give us two secs.”

I said, “No problem, that’s exactly what I had in mind.”

two girls

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I’ve invented a device called a ‘base-ball.’

I’m thinking of pitching it on Shark Tank.

shark tank

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I walked past some joggers in the park today.

They weren’t very fast.

joggers

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I was at the observatory the other day.

The astronomer said to me, “Look at this massive star!”

I replied, “Actually, that’s a cluster of stars, if it’s any constellation.”

observatory

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I went to the Natural History Museum and

saw the two bees that Noah took with him.

They were in the archives.

noah-ark-cartoon

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Now, for the final trick, I’m going to turn this

Grandfather clock to one hundredth of its original size…

Watch….

grandfather clocks

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