“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Well, maybe not ‘all’ of you. But some people like them.
Here are a few more.
Enjoy or endure!
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I just learned the other day that a violin
is comprised of seventy separate pieces of wood.
It must be a fiddly job putting it all together!
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I named my car flattery.
It gets me nowhere.
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I got depressed when I lost my job at the Apple factory.
“Have you been taking any tablets?” asked the doctor.
“Yeah. Why do you think I got fired?”
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I’ve started a band called ‘Nostalgia’.
If we don’t make it, at least people will remember us fondly.
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My wife planted some seeds in the garden a while back
and just recently they’ve pushed through the soil.
She said to me today, “What do you think they are?”
“I don’t know,” I replied.
“But they’ve definitely grown hyacinth we last looked at them.”
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I hopped on a bus today.
After five minutes, the driver told me to sit down.
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Just had to close my new restaurant down.
It was called “Mexican Tortilla”.
I just kept getting calls from language students…
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As I sat cleaning my rifle, my wife nagged,
“I think you love that gun more than me.”
“Are you even listening to me?” she asked.
“Yes, deer,” I replied.
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I’ll never forget my first love.
She took me outside and showed me the garden.
She then showed me the hole, at the bottom of her garden.
Full of water.
“Throw in a coin and make a wish.” She said.
So I did.
I remember her well.
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I started a business selling life support machines
but I’m on the verge of going bust.
Ironically, I’ve got to pull the plug.
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A psychic told me how to get more friends on Facebook,
and it worked!
What a great social medium.
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I tried to do a computer course
but I couldn’t hack it
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Just got back from the ‘Free Pussy Riot’ march.
Not what I was expecting,
apparently they’re some Russian band.
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Contrary to popular belief Owls are not wise,
they’re stupid and illiterate.
It’s “Tu Whit Tu WHOM!”
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“It’s nice to be served by somebody English for a change,”
I said to the waitress in a café.
“These days most of you are foreign and don’t understand a word I say. For instance…”
“For instance, what?” said the waitress, after a long pause.
“Four instant coffees, please.”
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fasab 