All Generalizations Are False.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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All generalizations are false, except for the one that says people enjoy puns or word plays.

Just to prove the point here is another selection.

Enjoy or endure!!

.

rofl

.

There are only five vowels but

nobody’s ever thought to ask y.

y

.

.

A 600 pound man committed suicide

by jumping into a ravine.

He gorged himself to death.

cartoon fat man

.

.

What do you call a

vicar on a motorbike?

Rev.

vicar on a motorbike

.

.

I lost my job as Donald Duck at

Disneyworld after I put on some weight.

I just didn’t fit the bill.

Donald Duck at Disneyworld

.

.

Mirror inspecting is a job

I can’t really see myself doing.

looking in mirror

.

.

My friend’s wife is really ugly.

So I asked him one day,

“Why do you take her out so much?”

“So I don’t have to kiss her goodbye,” he confessed.

ugly wife cartoon

.

.

An ice rink is a good place

to go to pick up women.

ice rink women falling down

.

.

I wouldn’t say the cruise ship was old

but it was insured against fire, piracy,

and falling off the edge of the world.

old cruise ship

.

.

If I get one more request to do a somersault,

I’m gonna flip.

somersault

.

.

If vegetarians love animals so much,

why do they eat all their food?

vegetarians

.

.

I left my last girlfriend because

she wouldn’t stop counting.

I often wonder what she’s up to now.

cartoon girl counting

.

.

My son is learning to play the guitar

How clef-er.

Wonder if he’ll ever be as good as this kid?

.

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===============================

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Fasab’s Mammoth End Of The Year Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”  

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If you are anything like me, sometimes you’ll have trouble remembering what you were doing yesterday, let alone what happened several months ago.

If so, this quiz should be a bit of a challenge.

There aren’t any difficult or trick questions. The answers are all events that happened during the year 2013 and all were reported widely at the time they happened on the television, radio, internet and newspapers.

Let’s see if you were paying attention and how much of it you can recall now.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!

Good luck, and enjoy.

.

Fasab's Mammoth End Of Year Quiz 2013

.

Q.  1:  What former resident of Robben Island died late this year?

.

.

Q.  2:  What country landed a rover vehicle on the Moon in 2013? 

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Q.  3:  Who won the 2013 NBA Finals? (Bonus points for their opponents and for the score) 

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Q.  4:  In what country did terrorists attack a shopping mall killing 59 people and injuring 175? (Bonus point if you can also name the city.) 

.

.

Q.  5:  What mobile phone company did Microsoft buy in 2013 for $7.2 billion? 

.

.

Q.  6:  In 2013 what city had the winning bid to host the 2020 Olympic Games?

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.

Q.  7:  What major American city filed for bankruptcy during 2013? 

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.

Q.  8:  What former British Prime Minister died during 2013 at the age of 87? 

.

.

Q.  9:  A huge tornado hit which American city in 2013 causing massive devastation? 

.

.

Q. 10:  What internet social media company did Yahoo buy for $1.1 billion during 2013? 

.

.

Q. 11:  A factory collapsed in which Asian country killing over 700 people? 

.

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Q. 12:  Terrorists attacked a marathon race in which city during 2013? 

.

.

Q. 13:  2013 saw which country become the first to make plans to tax bank deposits?

.

.

Q. 14:  In what country in 2013 did meteorites injured hundreds of people? 

.

.

Q. 15:  What world leader announced a shock resignation during 2013? 

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.

Q. 16:  A fire in a nightclub killed about 230 people in what country?

.

.

Q. 17:  Which soccer player won the 2013 FIFA Ballon d’Or for the third consecutive year? 

.

.

Q. 18:  130 wildfires across the east coast of which country forced thousands to evacuate their homes? 

.

.

Q. 19:  In 2013 which of the world’s major cities was declared to have air pollution levels that are hazardous to human health?

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.

Q. 20:  Calcium deposits were discovered on what planet by NASA’s Curiosity Rover?  

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.

Q. 21:  What country unveils plans to build the world’s largest wind farm near the site of a former nuclear reactor plant? 

.

.

Q. 22:  Who succeeded Hillary Rodham Clinton as the United States Secretary of State during 2013? 

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.

Q. 23:  Who won Super Bowl XLVII? (Bonus points for their opponents and for the score.)  

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.

Q. 24:  Where did a massive blizzard result in 15 deaths, 5,300 cancelled flights, and loss of power for 900,000 people during 2013?  

.

.

Q. 25:  Which country confirmed that it had successfully tested a nuclear device that could be weaponized and also declared war on its neighboring state?   

.

.

Q. 26:  $50 million worth of diamonds were stolen in an armed robbery at an airport in which European city? 

.

.

Q. 27:  Who was elected to a second term as the President of Cuba? 

.

.

Q. 28:  Who won the 2013 Daytona 500? 

.

.

Q. 29:  Who in 2013 became the first male Monarch of Netherlands in 123 years?  

.

Q. 30:  In 2013 what company announced a $17 billion bond offering, the largest ever from a private company? 

.

.

Q. 31:  Who won the 77th Golf Masters Championship?

.

.

Q. 32:  What bunch of politicians passed a bill intending to enable the taxing of online sales? 

.

.

Q. 33:  Who announced his retirement as Manchester United’s manager at the end of the 2012-2013 soccer season?

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.

Q. 34:  Who regained his position in 2013 as the world’s richest man with an estimated fortune of $72.7 Billion? 

.

.

Q. 35:  What country won the 2013 World Ice Hockey Championship? (Bonus point if you know who they beat.)  

.

.

Q. 36:  Which world leader announced his divorce with his wife on national TV in June 2013? 

.

.

Q. 37:  Which golfer won the 113th US Open in 2013? 

.

.

Q. 38:  Which Middle Eastern President is deposed in a military coup during 2013? 

.

.

Q. 39:  €103 million of diamonds is stolen from the Carton Intercontinental Hotel in which well known festive French city?  

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.

Q. 40:  Who became Prime Minister of Australia in September 2013, after a Liberal-National Coalitions wins the election?  

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.

Q. 41:  Who won the 2013 US Tennis Open? 

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Q. 42:  What country switched off its last working nuclear reactor in 2013?

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Q. 43:  What was the largest company by revenue on the 2013 Fortune 500 list?    

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Q. 44:  12 people were killed after a gunman opens fire at a naval yard in what major American city? 

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.

Q. 45:  Who became the first British man to win a Wimbledon tennis title since 1936? 

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.

Q. 46:  What computer/console game became the fastest entertainment product to reach $1 billion in sales during 2013? 

.

.

Q. 47:  Who set a new MLB record with 24 Grand Slam home runs for the New York Yankees? 

.

.

Q. 48:  Who won a third term with their best result since 1990 in German Federal elections? (A point each for the name of the Party and it’s leader.)

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.

Q. 49:  Who is named PGA Tour’s player of the year for the 11th time? 

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Q. 50:  It was perhaps the biggest joke of the year and started in the United States on October 1st and ended on October 16th – what was it? 

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ANSWERS

.

Q.  1:  What former resident of Robben Island died late this year?

A.  1:  Nelson Mandela

.

.

Q.  2:  What country landed a rover vehicle on the Moon in 2013? 

A.  2:  China.

.

.

Q.  3:  Who won the 2013 NBA Finals? (Bonus points for their opponents and for the score) 

A.  3:  Miami Heat, beating San Antonio Spurs 4-3.

.

.

Q.  4:  In what country did terrorists attack a shopping mall killing 59 people and injuring 175? (Bonus point if you can also name the city.) 

A.  4:  Nairobi, Kenya.

.

.

Q.  5:  What mobile phone company did Microsoft buy in 2013 for $7.2 billion? 

A.  5:  Nokia.

.

.

Q.  6:  In 2013 what city had the winning bid to host the 2020 Olympic Games?

A.  6:  Tokyo, Japan.

.

.

Q.  7:  What major American city filed for bankruptcy during 2013? 

A.  7:  Detroit.

.

.

Q.  8:  What former British Prime Minister died during 2013 at the age of 87? 

A.  8:  Margaret Thatcher.

.

.

Q.  9:  A huge tornado hits which American city causing massive devastation? 

A.  9:  Oklahoma.

.

.

Q. 10:  What internet social media company did Yahoo buy for $1.1 billion during 2013? 

A. 10:  Tumblr.

.

.

Q. 11:  A factory collapsed in which Asian country killing over 700 people? 

A. 11:  Bangladesh.

.

.

Q. 12:  Terrorists attacked a marathon race in which city during 2013? 

A. 12:  Boston.

.

.

Q. 13:  2013 saw which country become the first to make plans to tax bank deposits?

A. 13:  Cyprus.

.

.

Q. 14:  In what country in 2013 did meteorites injured hundreds of people? 

A. 14:  Russia.

.

.

Q. 15:  What world leader announced a shock resignation during 2013? 

A. 15:  Pope Benedict XVI.

.

.

Q. 16:  A fire in a nightclub killed about 230 people in what country?

A. 16:  Brazil.

.

.

Q. 17:  Which soccer player won the 2013 FIFA Ballon d’Or for the third consecutive year? 

A. 17:  Lionel Messi.

.

.

Q. 18:  130 wildfires across the east coast of which country forced thousands to evacuate their homes? 

A. 18:  Australia.

.

.

Q. 19:  In 2013 which of the world’s major cities was declared to have air pollution levels that are hazardous to human health?

A. 19:  Beijing, China.

.

.

Q. 20:  Calcium deposits were discovered on what planet by NASA’s Curiosity Rover?  

A. 20:  Mars.

.

.

Q. 21:  What country unveils plans to build the world’s largest wind farm near the site of a former nuclear reactor plant? 

A. 21:  Japan, near the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant.

.

.

Q. 22:  Who succeeded Hillary Rodham Clinton as the United States Secretary of State during 2013? 

A. 22:  John Kerry.

.

.

Q. 23:  Who won Super Bowl XLVII? (Bonus points for their opponents and for the score.)  

A. 23:  The Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers by 34–31.

.

.

Q. 24:  Where did a massive blizzard result in 15 deaths, 5,300 cancelled flights, and loss of power for 900,000 people during 2013?  

A. 24:  In the US and Canada.

.

.

Q. 25:  Which country confirmed that it had successfully tested a nuclear device that could be weaponized and also declared war on its neighboring state?  

A. 25:  North Korea.

.

.

Q. 26:  $50 million worth of diamonds were stolen in an armed robbery at an airport in which European city? 

A. 26:  Brussels, Belgium.

.

.

Q. 27:  Who was elected to a second term as the President of Cuba? 

A. 27:  Raúl Castro.

.

.

Q. 28:  Who won the 2013 Daytona 500? 

A. 28:  Jimmie Johnson.

.

.

Q. 29:  Who in 2013 became the first male Monarch of Netherlands in 123 years?  

A. 29:  Willem-Alexander.

.

.

Q. 30:  In 2013 what company announced a $17 billion bond offering, the largest ever from a private company? 

A. 30:  Apple.

.

.

Q. 31:  Who won the 77th Golf Masters Championship?

A. 31:  Adam Scott.

.

.

Q. 32:  What bunch of politicians passed a bill intending to enable the taxing of online sales? 

A. 32:  The US Senate.

.

.

Q. 33:  Who announced his retirement as Manchester United’s manager at the end of the 2012-2013 soccer season?

A. 33:  Sir Alex Ferguson.

.

.

Q. 34:  Who regained his position in 2013 as the world’s richest man with an estimated fortune of $72.7 Billion? 

A. 34:  Bill Gates.

.

.

Q. 35:  What country won the 2013 World Ice Hockey Championship? (Bonus point if you know who they beat.)  

A. 35:  Sweden, beating Switzerland.

.

.

Q. 36:  Which world leader announced his divorce with his wife on national TV in June 2013? 

A. 36:  Russian President Vladimir Putin.

.

.

Q. 37:  Which golfer won the 113th US Open in 2013? 

A. 37:  Justin Rose.

.

.

Q. 38:  Which Middle Eastern President is deposed in a military coup during 2013? 

A. 38:  Egypt’s president, Mohammed Morsi.

.

.

Q. 39:  €103 million of diamonds is stolen from the Carton Intercontinental Hotel in which well known festive French city?  

A. 39:  Cannes, France.

.

.

Q. 40:  Who became Prime Minister of Australia in September 2013, after a Liberal-National Coalitions wins the election?  

A. 40:  Tony Abbott.

.

.

Q. 41:  Who won the 2013 US Tennis Open? 

A. 41:  Rafael Nadal, beating Novak Djokovic.

.

.

Q. 42:  What country switched off its last working nuclear reactor in 2013?

A. 42:  Japan.

.

.

Q. 43:  What was the largest company by revenue on the 2013 Fortune 500 list?    

A. 43:  Wal-Mart.

.

.

Q. 44:  12 people were killed after a gunman opens fire at a naval yard in what major American city? 

A. 44:  Washington DC.

.

.

Q. 45:  Who became the first British man to win a Wimbledon tennis title since 1936? 

A. 45:  Andy Murray,  beating Novak Djokovic.

.

.

Q. 46:  What computer/console game became the fastest entertainment product to reach $1 Billion in sales during 2013? 

A. 46:  Grand Theft Auto.

.

.

Q. 47:  Who set a new MLB record with 24 Grand Slam home runs for the New York Yankees? 

A. 47:  Alex Rodriquez.

.

.

Q. 48:  Who won a third term with their best result since 1990 in German Federal elections? (A point each for the name of the Party and it’s leader.)

A. 48:  The Christian Democrats, led by Angela Merkel.

.

.

Q. 49:  Who is named PGA Tour’s player of the year for the 11th time? 

A. 49:  Tiger Woods.

.

.

Q. 50:  It was perhaps the biggest joke of the year and started in the United States on October 1st and ended on October 16th – what was it? 

A. 50:  The Federal Government shutdown as a result of politicians squabbling over spending.

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==============================================

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Just Thought Of A Great Owl Joke, But I Can’t Use It Until 2/8/20.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, once again the clue was in the title, pun day.

Contrary to rumors on the internet puns have not been cancelled. Resistance is futile. 

So brace yourselves or whatever it is that you usually do.

But enjoy!

.

.

I complained to the furniture store after a sofa I ordered

was dumped in the stairwell of my apartment block.

They said I need to take it up with the delivery man.

furniture-delivery

.

.

My friend Max hates going up steep hills.

He’s always been a bit of an anti-climb Max.

steep hill

.

.

What idiot invented fire blankets?

You’d think fire was hot enough…

fire blanket

.

.

I was stood at a barberque the other day,

Yep, 30 minutes I waited for a haircut.

barbercue

.

.

George made himself a girlfriend out of plastic food wrap.

He said she was a bit clingy.

clingy

.

.

I’ll tell you a couple of things that make me jump.

My legs.

jump

.

.

A neighbor was molested by his priest when he was a kid,

It’s quite a touching story.

Abusing Priests

.

.

I’ve just been banned from an online fashion forum.

Apparently my threads weren’t cool enough.

phillip-lim-ss-2012

.

.

The best thing about being single is sleeping around.

You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours:

left, right, middle, whatever.

cartoon-bed-6

.

.

The wife finally finished writing her

book about cooking with herbs.

It’s about thyme.

thyme-rubbed-pork-chops-with-pesto

.

.

I can beat anybody in a fight with only one hand.

It’s the two-handed blokes who beat the crap out of me.

one arm man applauds

.

.

Bono came into my shop today to buy a cake.

I asked him, “What do you want on it?”

He said, “Icing”

I said, “I know that, but what do you want on your cake?”

bono

.

.

Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims

by threatening them with a lit match.

They want to catch him before he strikes again.

cartoon lit match

.

.

My Dad loves The Beatles and has all but one of the

original L.P. records with autographed sleeves.

I think he needs Help.

The Beatles Help Album

.

.

There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland.

I mean, even the flag itself is a big plus.

swiss-flag

.

.

I was lying in bed and I thought,

“I’ve gotta start telling the truth.”

lying in bed

.

.

I said, “I’ve locked my keys in my car and my children are inside.”

My neighbor said, “Do you have a spare set?”

I said, “Yeah, I’ve got two sons with my ex-wife.”

man-looking-into-car-keys-locked-in-ignition

.

.

For sale.

Modified DeLorean DMC-12.

No timewasters.

bttf-delorean

.

.

I got chatting to a lumberjack in a bar the other day.

He seemed like a decent feller.

lumberjack

.

.

I just bet on three horses called

Sunshine, Moonlight and Good Times,

and none of them won.

I blame it on the bookie.

.


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===============================

.

Did You Know…. Another Twenty Fascinating Facts From Fasab’s Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Time for another selection of fascinating facts. How you use these is up to you, but some of them may well come in handy sometime.

Enjoy.

.

did you know

.

Every year Alaska has about 5,000 earthquakes,

1,000 of which measure above 3.5 on the Richter scale

 Alaska_earthquakes.

.

There are approximately 7,000 feathers on an eagle

– even a bald one!

bald_eagle

.

. 

The average person changes their career every 13 years

career change

.

The total mileage driven by all U-Haul trucks in a year

is enough to move a person from the Earth to the moon

five times a day for an entire year

U-Haul Truck

.

. 

Scientists with high-speed cameras have discovered

that rain drops are not tear shaped

but rather look like hamburger buns.

rain-drop-shape-diagram

.

. 

570 gallons of paint would be needed to paint the outside of the White House

– make that 570 gallons of white paint

Whitehouse South Facade

.

. 

Tiger Woods is the first athlete to has been named

“Sportsman of the Year”

by magazine Sports Illustrated two times

Tiger-Woods

.

. 

In 1996, toy company Mattel released a “Harley Davidson” Barbie.

This dolls distinctive feature is a birth mark on her face

that changes position with every new release of the doll

barbie_harley

.

. 

In the Sahara Desert there is a town named Tidikelt,

which did not receive a drop of rain for ten years

Tidikelt_map

.

. 

The most senior crayon maker Emerson Moser

retired after making 1.4 billion crayons for Crayola.

It was then that he revealed that he was actually colorblind

Emerson Moser

.

. 

There are mirrors on the moon.

Astronauts left them so that laser beams could be bounced off of them from Earth.

These beams help give us the distance to the moon give or take a few meters.

lunar mirror

.

. 

Tobacco kills more Americans each year

than alcohol, cocaine, crack, heroin, homicide,

suicide, car accidents, fire and AIDS combined

tobacco-kills-more-americans-each-year-than-alcohol

.

. 

The oldest bird on record was Cocky, a cockatoo, who lived in London Zoo.

He ceased being Cocky at the age of 82.

 Cockatoo_Moluccan

.

.

There were 13 couples celebrating their honeymoon on the Titanic

titanic

.

. 

In July 1874, a swarm of Rocky Mountain locusts flew over Nebraska

covering an area estimated at 198,600 square miles.

It is estimated that the swarm contained about 12.5 trillion insects.

These insects became extinct thirty years later

In-July-1874-2C-a-swarm-of-Rocky-Mountain-locusts-flew-over-Nebraska-covering-an-area-estimated-at-198-2C600-square-miles.-It-is-estimated-that-the-swarm-contained-about-12.5-trillion-insects

.

. 

Honorificabilitudinitatibus

is the longest English word that consists strictly

of alternating consonants and vowels

Honorificabilitudinitatibus

.

. 

In Haiti, only 1 out of every 200 people own a car which is ironic

considering approximately 33% of the country’s budget on imports

is spent on equipment for fuel and transportation.

streets-of-port-au-prince-port-au-prince-haiti

.

. 

The largest diamond found in the United States was a 40.23 carat white diamond.

It was found in 1924 at Murfreesboro, Arkansas at the Prairie Creek pipe mine,

which later became known as the Crater of Diamonds State Park.

The diamond was named “Uncle Sam” after the nickname of its finder,

Wesley Oley Basham, a worker at the Arkansas Diamond Corporation.

uncle sam diamond

.

. 

In 1903 Mary Anderson invented the windshield wipers

mary_anderson

.

. 

The song with the longest title is

“I’m a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank

on the Streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu Mama

Doin’ Those Beat-o, Beat-o Flat-On-My-Seat-o,

Hirohito Blues”

written by Hoagy Carmichael in 1945.

He later claimed the song title ended with ‘Yank’ and the rest was a joke


. 

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 .

Day Two 2013, Are You Scared Yet?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

If you aren’t scared yet the chances are you are not afflicted with anything on the following list of phobias or irrational fears that seem to grip some unfortunate people. For them 2013 will be as frightening as 2012. Imagine, for example, spending the whole year with proctophobia – what a bummer!

In today’s list are the ‘O’s and the ‘P’s. 

Enjoy.

Obesophobia……….fear of gaining weight. (Pocrescophobia)

 

Ochlophobia……….fear of crowds or mobs.

 

Ochophobia……….fear of vehicles.

 

Octophobia ……….fear of the figure 8.

 

Odontophobia……….fear of teeth or dental surgery.

 

Odynophobia or Odynephobia……….fear of pain. (Algophobia)

 

Oenophobia……….fear of wines.

 

Oikophobia……….fear of home surroundings, house. (Domatophobia, Eicophobia)

 

Olfactophobia……….fear of smells.

 

Ombrophobia……….fear of rain or of being rained on.

 

Ommetaphobia or Ommatophobia……….fear of eyes.

 

Omphalophobia……….fear of belly buttons.

 

Oneirophobia……….fear of dreams.

 

Oneirogmophobia……….fear of wet dreams.

 

Onomatophobia……….fear of hearing a certain word or of names.

 

Ophidiophobia……….fear of snakes. (Snakephobia)

 

Ophthalmophobia……….fear of being stared at.

 

Opiophobia……….fear medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients.

 

Optophobia……….fear of opening one’s eyes.

 

Ornithophobia……….fear of birds.

 

Orthophobia……….fear of property.

 

Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia……….fear of smells or odors.

 

Ostraconophobia……….fear of shellfish.

 

Ouranophobia or Uranophobia……….fear of heaven.

 

Pagophobia……….fear of ice or frost.

 

Panthophobia……….fear of suffering and disease.

 

Panophobia or Pantophobia……….fear of everything.

 

Papaphobia……….fear of the Pope.

 

Papyrophobia……….fear of paper.

 

Paralipophobia……….fear of neglecting duty or responsibility.

 

Paraphobia……….fear of sexual perversion.

 

Parasitophobia……….fear of parasites.

 

Paraskavedekatriaphobia……….fear of Friday the 13th.

 

Parthenophobia……….fear of virgins or young girls.

 

Pathophobia……….fear of disease.

 

Patroiophobia……….fear of heredity.

 

Parturiphobia……….fear of childbirth.

 

Peccatophobia……….fear of sinning or imaginary crimes.

 

Pediculophobia……….fear of lice.

 

Pediophobia……….fear of dolls.

 

Pedophobia……….fear of children.

 

Peladophobia……….fear of bald people.

 

Pellagrophobia……….fear of pellagra.

 

Peniaphobia……….fear of poverty.

 

Pentheraphobia……….fear of mother-in-law. (Novercaphobia)

 

Phagophobia……….fear of swallowing or of eating or of being eaten.

 

Phalacrophobia……….fear of becoming bald.

 

Phallophobia……….fear of a penis, especially erect.

 

Pharmacophobia……….fear of taking medicine.

 

Phasmophobia……….fear of ghosts.

 

Phengophobia……….fear of daylight or sunshine.

 

Philemaphobia or Philematophobia……….fear of kissing.

 

Philophobia……….fear of falling in love or being in love.

 

Philosophobia……….fear of philosophy.

 

Phobophobia……….fear of phobias.

 

Photoaugliaphobia……….fear of glaring lights.

 

Photophobia……….fear of light.

 

Phonophobia……….fear of noises or voices or one’s own voice; of telephones.

 

Phronemophobia……….fear of thinking.

 

Phthiriophobia……….fear of lice. (Pediculophobia)

 

Phthisiophobia……….fear of tuberculosis.

 

Placophobia……….fear of tombstones.

 

Plutophobia……….fear of wealth.

 

Pluviophobia……….fear of rain or of being rained on.

 

Pneumatiphobia……….fear of spirits.

 

Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia……….fear of choking of being smothered.

 

Pocrescophobia……….fear of gaining weight. (Obesophobia)

 

Podophobia……….fear of feet.

 

Pogonophobia……….fear of beards.

 

Poliosophobia……….fear of contracting poliomyelitis.

 

Politicophobia……….fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.

 

Polyphobia……….fear of many things.

 

Poinephobia……….fear of punishment.

 

Ponophobia……….fear of overworking or of pain.

 

Porphyrophobia……….fear of the color purple.

 

Potamophobia……….fear of rivers or running water.

 

Potophobia……….fear of alcohol.

 

Pharmacophobia……….fear of drugs.

 

Proctophobia……….fear of rectums.

 

Prosophobia……….fear of progress.

 

P-P-P-P-P-Psellismophobia……….fear of stuttering.

 

Psychophobia……….fear of mind.

 

Psychrophobia……….fear of cold.

 

Pteridophobia……….morbid fear of fearns.

 

Pteromerhanophobia……….fear of flying.

 

Pteronophobia……….fear of being tickled by feathers.

 

Pupaphobia ……….fear of puppets.

 

Pyrexiophobia……….fear of fever.

 

Pyrophobia……….fear of fire.

 

How are you after all that? Are you developing symptoms or are you feeling good?

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All You Have To Do Is Ask? Really??

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

They say that all you have to do is ask.

Well, I’m asking, so I guess the rest is up to you.

Here you go….

Why doesn’t onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

onomatopoeia

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Does a fish get cramps after eating?

cartoon fish swimming cramps

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Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss ? Shouldn’t it be called a near hit ?

near miss

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Why isn’t palindrome spelled the same way backwards?

palindrome

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Why is it called TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?

toothbrush

.

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Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

fat chance slim chance

.

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If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

water drop

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How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

a fool and his money

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Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

graveyard shift

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If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway

bugs bunny with carrot

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Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

fire

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So what’s the speed of dark?

speed of dark

.

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Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

multi-tasking

.

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Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?

grocery checkout

.

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If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?

anything is possible

.

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Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

Kill Two Birds With One Stone by mcaldero

.

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Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a wall

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Okay, Enough Of The Presidential Nonsense – Time To Get Serious!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

Yes, if the election didn’t make you groan, here’s your chance.

Its bad joke pun day!

Enjoy them if you can.  

 .

 .

It wasn’t school John disliked it was just the principal of it.

 .

 .

A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, “Is the bar tender here?”

termite .

 .

An electrician is a bright spark who knows what’s watt.

 .

 .

Women who wear $200.00 perfume obviously are known to have no common scents.

 .

 .

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

 .

 .

A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.

donut cartoon .

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Communism first took off in the insect kingdom when a wary wasp joined the cagey bee.

 .

 .

In the winter my dog wears his coat,

but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.

 Dog panting.

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Did you hear about the raisin that wined about how he couldn’t achieve grapeness.

 .

 .

Opening a new funeral parlor can be quite an undertaking.

 .

 .

I tend to avoid funerals, I’m not really a mourning person.

 .

 .

The grammarian was never late. In fact he was always very punctual.

 .

 .

I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx.

 Obama-Marx cartoon.

 .

I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.

 .

 .

To many girls the word ‘marriage’ has a nice ring to it.

 .

 .

Those who stare at the moon are optimists.

They only look at the bright side.

 .

 .

Tennis players don’t marry because Love means Nothing to them.

 .

 .

Can Napoleon return to his place of birth?

Of Corsican.

 Napoleon cartoon.

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