It’s The Fasab Fact Feature.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, time for some more facts to feature here at the fasab blob.

Hope you find something interesting in this selection.

Enjoy.

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Mice, whales, elephants, giraffes and man

all have seven neck vertebra.

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There have been many legends about the Northern Lights.

Some North American Inuit tribes call the aurora „aqsarniit“

(meaning “football players”) thinking it is the spirits of the dead

playing football with a head of a walrus.

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The feeling you get when something is so cute

you can’t help but want to squeeze it

is called “cute aggression”.

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The Ivory Coast is by far the world’s leading producer of cocoa beans.

About 37 percent of all the cocoa beans in the world come from here.

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On a dewy morning, if you look at your shadow in the grass,

the dew drops shine light back to your eye creating a halo

called a heilgenschein (German for halo.)

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Your brain continues to develop until your late 40s.

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According to the Guinness Book of World Records,

the largest sausage was made by J.J. Tranfield on behalf of

Asda Stores Plc, at Sheffield, United Kingdom in October 2000.

With a length of 36.75 miles (59.143 kilometers),

it’s almost the width of Rhode Island.

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The McKinley Building on the American University campus

has been used for the development of several hazardous products,

such as Mustard Gas and preliminary work on the Manhattan Project.

The government used the McKinley Building because of its unusual architecture.

If there would be any type of large explosion inside the building,

the building would implode onto itself, containing any lethal gas or nuclear material.

The building now houses the Physics Department.

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There is a language in Botswana that

consists of 5 primary click sounds

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Window washer Chris Saggers was working on the 22nd floor of the

Salford Tower Blocks in Britain when he fell off of his scaffold,

plunging down 220 feet, and landing on top of a car.

Miraculously, after the fall, he simply stood up and told the on lookers “I’m fine”.

A medical exam revealed that Saggers’ only injury was a broken elbow.

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The last NASCAR driver to serve jail time for

running moonshine was Buddy Arrington.

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Born in 1921 in Connecticut, Haroutune Krikor Daghlian, Jr was

an Armenian American physicist who worked for the Manhattan Project

(research and development project that produced the first atomic bombs).

He accidentally irradiated himself in August, 1945, during a critical mass

experiment at the remote Omega Site facility in New Mexico.

He died just 25 days later.

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All porcupines float in water.

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Woodward Ave in Detroit, Michigan

carries the designation M-1, named so

because it was the first paved road anywhere.

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The Les Nessman character on the TV series WKRP in Cincinnati

wore a band-aid in every episode.

Either on himself, his glasses, or his clothing.

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Coat Hangers, White Chocolate And Kissing. Must Be Fact Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Looks like another day of random facts.

Hope you find something that you like.

Enjoy.

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A coat hanger is 44 inches long if straightened

 

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White chocolate technically isn’t chocolate.

It contains no cocoa solids or cocoa liquor.

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The science of kissing itself is called philematology.

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Elephants aren’t afraid of mice

but they are afraid of bees

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The Mauryan Empire was founded by

Chandragupta Maurya in 322 B.C and was

the largest empire ever on the Indian subcontinent.

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In 2007, While attending a dart-throwing convention

at a Minneapolis hotel, Josh Hanson (heavily intoxicated)

fell out of a window, plummeting 160 feet and

slamming into the ledge of the first floor.

He sustained a broken leg, two collapsed lungs and

a few bruises but lived to play darts again.

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Humans have more brain cells at the age of two

than at any other point in their lives

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Images for picture stamps in the United States

are commissioned by the

United States Postal Service Department of Philatelic Fulfillment.

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It takes a lobster approximately

seven years to grow to be one pound.

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Bobby Leach was one of the greatest dare devils to ever live.

He would regularly perform death defying stunts

and was only the second person in history

to go over the side of the Niagara Falls in a barrel.

One day, however, while walking down

a quiet street in New Zealand,

Leach slipped on an orange peel, broke his leg,

and died due to complications that he developed afterwards.

 

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The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding.

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At latitude 60 degrees south you can

sail all the way around the world.

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King Goujian of Yue placed a row of

convicted criminals at the front of his army.

Before the battle they would all cut off their own heads

to show the other army how crazy King Goujian’s army was.

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The “Calabash” pipe,

most often associated with Sherlock Holmes,

was not used by him until William Gillette (an American)

portrayed Holmes onstage.

Gillette needed a pipe he could keep in

his mouth while he spoke his lines.

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In 2006, American Film Institute

named Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

as one of the best American musical films ever made.  

Yeeeehaaaaaa!!!

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Apparently Towels Are The Biggest Cause Of Dry Skin.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I couldn’t make my mind for a while whether that title was a pun or a fabulous fact.

But it’s Pun Day, so a play on words it is.

Enjoy or endure!

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My uncle works for a company

that makes bicycle wheels.

He’s the Spokesman.

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Police, “You’re under arrest for trespassing.”

Me, “On what grounds?”

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I know a guy who in his spare time likes to dress up as a knight,

and jump over 20 parked cars on a horse.

I call him Medieval Knievel.

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Having fake teeth.

That’ll denture confidence

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I actually tried plane sailing the other day….

It’s not as easy as it’s made out to be.

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Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.

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My wife always gets annoyed when I leave her out.

Especially if it’s raining.

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Arkansas is just Kansas with pirates.

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Once when I was in Chicago I did 35 press-ups in a row…

The elevator attendant looked pretty annoyed.

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I’ve spent my entire life researching the multiples of zero,

my career has amounted to nothing. 

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I asked my friend the other day, “Where’s your mum from?”

He replied, “Alaska.”

I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself.”

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I saw a man with a trolley

full of horseshoes and rabbits’ feet earlier,

trying to get it up a hill.

I thought, “He’s pushing his luck.”

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Some people say it’s sick and perverted to be a flasher.

I think it shows a lot of balls.

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A Zen master once said to me,

“Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.”

So I didn’t.

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I was referred to Dr. Dre the other day,

I have to go in for a hip-hoperation.

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Term Talk

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

Don’t worry the title of this post doesn’t mean that you’re back at school again. This ‘term talk’ in the title refers to politics and politicians.

President Obama takes a lot of stick because of his headstrong insistence in implementing his Obamacare legislation. As I’ve said before, it’s a laudable goal, but the country can’t afford it. But on he goes anyway.

Love him or hate him, or neither, he’s limited to two terms of four years in office, then he has to go and make way for the next person who wants the job.

To begin with that’s a stupid system because the main thrust of the first Presidency about half way or so in office isn’t governing the country but instead trying to ensure election for a second term and wasting billions of dollars doing it.

It doesn’t take a genius to work out that the present system sucks. Nor do you have to be a professor of politics to suggest an alternative  –  for example a single term of five or six years, which still leaves plenty of time to settle into the job and implement whatever policies you have promised the electorate.

So that’s the first problem solved.

However, there is another term problem that infests American politics (and many other countries too).

What about the rest of the elected politicians?

Well, why not introduce the same system for them? Elected for a five or six year term after which they have to start to earn a living again?

Sounds good to me.

According to Wikipedia John Dingell has managed 58 years in the House and still going. John Conyers has been there for 49 years. Coincidentally both these politicians are Democrats and both represent Michigan, so another problem that these ‘lifers’ cause is that there is no incentive for new blood to enter politics when they have little or no chance of being selected for election.

Congressman John Dingell

I’m not picking on these guys in particular. They just happen to be the two longest serving examples. There were others of similar longevity but they had the good grace to eventually retire, or die after half a century or so. Amazingly more than one hundred members of Congress have been allowed to serve for at least 36 years.

When I say “serve” I am just using the normal expression for these jobs. Whether they realize it or not, career politicians are nothing more than parasites living a cozy life off the money provided by the rest of us through our taxes. When an elected representative is entrenched in his or her position for a very long period of time they are not serving their people, they are simply relying on their people to provide them with a good living, premier health care and generous pension benefits (assuming they retire eventually!).

“Ah,” I hear someone say. “But what about the ‘experience’ that these long serving members bring?”

“Oh,” I reply. “What about it? Have we not seen in recent years and months that whatever experience they bring is not worth a hell of a lot. Just look at the mess the country is in and tell me if fresh faces could do any worse.”

So the solution to the two worst political problems that face America are easily solved.

The next question is will they be solved?

And the answer to that is probably ‘NO’. And it is probably ‘NO’ because the people who have the power to change the law are the very people that that law would affect.

They say turkeys wouldn’t vote for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Asses and elephants probably wouldn’t vote for this idea either.

What a pity.

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Fun Fact File Day!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, welcome to another fun fact file day when the fasab archives are opened up to reveal a startling array of random facts that you probably didn’t know and didn’t need to.

But here they are anyhow.

I hope you enjoy.

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During your lifetime,

you will eat about 60,000 pounds of food,

that’s the weight of about 6 elephants.

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Einstein couldn’t speak fluently when he was nine.

His parents thought he might be retarded.

But he turned out to be relatively smart!

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Gilligan of Gilligan’s Island had a first name

that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show.

His first name was Willy.

The skipper’s real name on Gilligan’s Island is Jonas Grumby.

It was mentioned once in the first episode

on their radio’s newscast about the wreck.

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If you toss a penny 10,000 times,

it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950.

The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

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In 1983, a Japanese artist made a copy of the Mona Lisa

completely out of toast.

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Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.

(But only when you really surprise them!)

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The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.

The average bank CEO loses at least $1 billion – and gets a bonus for doing it!)

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The Earth weighs around

6,588,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons.

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The name for Oz in the “Wizard of Oz”

was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum,

looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z,

hence “Oz.”

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The reason firehouses have circular stairways

is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses.

The horses were stabled on the ground floor

and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

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The Sanskrit word for “war” means “desire for more cows.”

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The word “Checkmate” in chess

comes from the Persian phrase “Shah Mat,”

which means “the king is dead”.

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The word “modem” is a contraction

of the words “modulate, demodulate.”

(MOdulate DEModulate)

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Thomas Edison, lightbulb inventor,

was afraid of the dark.

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Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

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Wilma Flintstone’s maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal,

and Betty Rubble’s maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.

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Mars is the home of Olympus Mons,

the largest known volcano in our solar system

Size comparison – Olympus Mons v Everest

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There are six million parts in the Boeing 747-400.

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Japanese research has concluded that

moderate drinking can boost IQ levels

(Sometimes you just know when scientific results are accurate.)

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In 1960 there were 16,067 gambling slots in Nevada.

By the end of the century, 1999, this number rose to 205,726 slots

which would be one slot for every 10 people residing there.

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Fasab’s Fascinating Fun Facts Folks!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another alliteration and another bunch of fascinating fun facts.

Throw a few of these out when you get the opportunity and dazzle you friends with your new knowledge.

Well, you’ll probably get one of those odd quizzical looks at least.

Enjoy.

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A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.

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The word “set” has the most number of definitions in the English language; 192

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Hong Kong has more Rolls Royce cars per capita than any other city.

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The longest name in the Bible is Mahershalalbaz.

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In a survey of 200,000 ostriches over 80 years, not one tried to bury its head in the sand.

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Elephants have the longest pregnancy in the animal kingdom at 22 months.

The longest human pregnancy on record is 17 months, 11 days.

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Possums have one of the shortest pregnancies at 16 days.

The shortest human pregnancy to produce a healthy baby was 22 weeks, 6 days

— the baby was the length of a ballpoint pen.

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In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world’s nuclear weapons combined.

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Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley’s Comet can be seen.

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Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.

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The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan.

There was never a recorded Wendy before it.

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One in ten people live on an island.

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Humphrey Bogart NEVER said “Play it again, Sam” in Casablanca

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Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.

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Jim Henson first coined the word “Muppet”.

It is a combination of “marionette” and “puppet.”

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Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India.

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The word “maverick” came into use after Samuel Maverick, a Texan who refused to brand his cattle.

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Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

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A “quidnunc” is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.

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Chrysler built B29’s that bombed Japan.

Mitsubishi built the Zeros that tried to shoot them down.

Both companies now build cars in a joint plant called Diamond Star.

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In the last 4000 years no new animals have been domesticated.

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Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word “criminal.”

The second? William Jefferson Clinton

It can’t be a coincidence, it really can’t!!!

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The country code for Russia is “007”.

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Stupid Politicians And Bureaucrats Make What? Yes, That’s Right – Stupid Laws

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There has to be a little bit of truth at least in the saying that you get the politicians you deserve. If you vote for morons then I’m afraid the odds are that you’ll get stupid laws, rules and regulations.

It’s a worldwide disease, but here is a continuation from last Wednesday of some of the lesser known laws that govern the good citizens in the United States (listed by state alphabetically, last week we covered A to L, this week it’s the M’s and N’s.).

Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).  

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MAINE

• To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law. (Finally a law that is half sensible.)
• Mercury thermometers may not be sold in the city.
• It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. (Hmmm, so that’s why there’s always a cop car outside it.)

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MARYLAND

• It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies. (So dinner and a what then?)
• An establishment using a strobe light must post a warning sign for epileptics. (They might have a fit if you didn’t.)
• You may not curse inside the city limits. (WTF!)
• It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. (Mine has sleeves, they’re short, but it has sleeves.)
• Any person caught committing adultery is subject to a $10 fine. (Bill Clinton would probably consider that good value for money!)

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MASSACHUCETTS

• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. (That’s dead mean.)
• It is a crime to own an explosive golf ball.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (That’s the only day I go to Church.)
• It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. (Oh, oh! I usually just take a shower.)
• Selling arsenic-laced candy is subject to a $100 fine.
• A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. (Yes, men are much better – awe, come on!)
• Quakers and witches are banned.

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MICHIGAN

• Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
• It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
• Seducing or debauching an unmarried woman can earn five years in jail. (Or a much longer sentence if you have to marry her!)
• It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. (What swine thought that one up?)
• There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
• In Flint one who wears “saggy pants” can be jailed for four months. 
• A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission. (So can she get a hairdresser or another woman to do it?)

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MINNESOTA

• It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. (I thought it was just supposed to be tents? You know loitering within tent?? See what I did there???)
• A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. (That one is quackers.)
• Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. (Are they subject to a paltry fine?)
• Red cars may not drive down Lake Street, Minnieapolis.
• Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays. (Hot dog!)

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MISSISSIPPI

• If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
• It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
• A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her. (Who would do a thing like that?)
• It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public. (Stiff penalties no doubt!)

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MISSOURI

• It is a crime to let an unaltered jackass run at large. (I’ve forgotten, who are Missouri’s Congressional Representatives?)
• No person may own a PVC pipe. (No Blue Man Group in Missouri then.)
• It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Like I said before, a good night out ruined.)
• A milk man may not run while on duty. 
• It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.  (And, I imagine, quite expensive.)
• Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. (Good law, give ‘em something that can kill people instead of just annoy them.)

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MONTANA

• One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor. (You mean you have to do it for real?)
• It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (Baaaaaaad law.)
• In Helena it is an offence to let your water sprinkler wet a passer-by. (Well really, the very idea!)
• It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail. (Try enforcing that one!)
• It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. (Oh boy, knowing it’s illegal makes it even better!)
• Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Without reservations?)
• It is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket at city council proceedings.
• Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated. (You hear that Frank?)

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NEBRASKA

• If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
• It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. (Straight up?)
• Doughnut holes may not be sold.
• It is illegal to do a reverse bungee jump. (Surely that’s stretching things a bit?)

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NEVADA

• It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
• A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. (Do I hear a stampede of cheapskates heading for Nevada?)
• It is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk. (That’s okay, I usually just fall down.)
• Owning a slave is against the law. (Er… isn’t it everywhere?)

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NEW HAMPSHIRE

• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. (Remember to keep your eyes shut then.)
• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• Spite fences cannot be higher than five feet. (Try looking over that, shorty!)
• A law against shooting humans has been repealed. (Hands up sucker!)

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NEW JERSEY

• It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder. (But weapons are okay?)
• In Paterson it is illegal for an ice cream vendor to be annoying.
• You cannot pump your own gas. (Oh yes I can, just listen.)
• It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
• It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
• You may not slurp your soup. (But it tastes nicer that way.)

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NEW MEXICO

• Nudity is allowed, provided that male genitals are covered. (Bollocks!)
• Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered. (Where’s the point?)
• It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public. (Even their heads?)
• Abusing a computer is a crime.
• You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street in Las Cruces.

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NEW YORK

• Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (Provided what is not being used as a business?)
• It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing”. (That’s the law lycra or not!)
• Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”. (Now that would just be as dumb as this law, wouldn’t it?)
• The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (I understand the gravity of this law.)
• A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
• While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. (Farting is permitted is it?)
• Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 PM (When else would you wear them?)

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NORTH CAROLINA

• It’s against the law to sing off key. (Thank goodness Mrs Miller is from Missouri.)
• In Transylvania County a Dalmation is deemed to be a “potentially dangerous” breed of dog. (Well spotted!)
• Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
• While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled. (Now that’s a new name for them!)
• Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

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NORTH DAKOTA

• It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
• Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
• Only US Citizens can be appointed to the Dry Pea and Lentil Council. (Naturally! What would foreigners know about such things?)
• It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. (How can you be on horseback and in a covered wagon at the same time?)
• One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
• A food seller cannot be held responsible for making someone fat.

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Stick It Where The Sun Don’t Shine!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

You’ve possibly heard of the saying, “Stick your head where the sun don’t shine”? If you haven’t, or you are not sure what it means just take a quick look at my logo/gravatar for this blog and you’ll get the picture.

My blog post starts in Paderborn, Germany, where an elephant was under the care of overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt.

The problem was that the poor elephant was constipated and had been for a few days. Not a pleasant affliction if you’ve ever had to suffer it.

In his desperation to help the poor elephant Stefan had given it twenty-two doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes.

Not content with that explosive mixture, Fredrich also thought he would give the plugged-up pachyderm an olive oil enema as well.

As he was doing so, however, the first concoction must have done its work. The elephant let fly and dumped two hundred pounds of poop on top of Fredrich.

Unfortunately, according to flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern, “The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him”.

With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he unfortunately suffocated.

It seems to be just one of those freak one-in-a-million accidents that happens.

Er…. Better make that two-in-a-million.

Here’s a video.

Enjoy!