Anything America Can Do, Britain Can Do Better…. Er, Make That Worser!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes folks, anything America can do Britain can do better, or worse as the case may be.

I’ve written previously about the pathetic failures of the Obamacare web site which seemed to be down more often than up at a time when people were desperately trying to register for this new, unnecessary, and far too expensive Obama initiative.

Well, not to be out done, Britain has managed to do more or less the same thing – again!

What I’m talking about here is the British government’s catastrophic record when it comes to computerization.

The flagship of their lack of achievement still has to be the $10 billion system it commissioned to computerize their Health Service which was promptly thrown into the trash when it failed to deliver on almost all levels.

And it has done it again.

The British government recently decided to do away with the 90 year old paper tax disc that had to be displayed on a car windscreen in order to be legal for road use. They also decided it would be more efficient (I can hear you laughing already) if they computerized the whole system so that people could apply for and pay this tax online rather than having to go to a government office or use the postal service.

UK car tax disc abandoned as of October 1st 2014

So it decided to rebuild its Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) website.

And they did. And when it launched it immediately went tits up (that’s British for fell over, stopped working, failed, flatlined, collapsed).

The new system just couldn’t cope with demand for its service as thousands of drivers rushed to use it to renew their car tax.

Frustrated citizens were met with the message

DVLA_Car_Tax_Website

Embarrassingly, they even had to take the web site and phone services completely offline in an attempt to fix the technical cock-up, resorting instead to tweeting lame apologies all day Monday.

Of course the debacle was blamed on “unprecedented demand”, so really it was the public’s fault for using the system rather than the system being inadequate for a number of users that should have been easily anticipated if they had put any thought into at all.

Hundreds of commercial organizations have web sites – some very popular with millions of visitors – operating 24/7 with very little, if any, problems.

Why can’t governments do the same.

In particular why do they persist with a tendering system that leads them to employ companies who are incapable of doing a good job.

Could it be that those in government are incapable too???

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incompetent government bureaucrat

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Fact Filled February Continues.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s the last fact filled Tuesday in February, but not the last of the facts!

Another random mixture, surely there will be a few good ones in here for you.

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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The Earth weighs around

6,600,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons

(5,940 billion billion metric tonnes)!

earth-moon-mass

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Over 10,000 birds a year die

from smashing into windows!

bird seeing stars

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A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long

in just one night!

mole

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In Natoma, Kansas, it’s illegal to throw

knives at men wearing striped suits.

men wearing striped suits

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About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians

died by the time they were 30!

ancient pharaoh_preview

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There wasn’t a single pony in

the Pony Express, just horses!

ponyexpresslogo

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The penguin is the only bird

that can swim, but not fly!

penguin

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There are approximately fifty Bibles

sold each minute across the world!

bibles

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Rice paper does not have any rice in it!

Rice_paper

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The most used letter in the English alphabet

is ‘E’, and ‘Q’ is the least used!

EQ

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The opposite sides of a dice cube

always add up to seven!

dice-game-cube-die-gambling-gaming-img

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Apples are more efficient than caffeine

in keeping people awake in the mornings!

apples in a bowl, spoon and coffee beans isolated on white

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The poison-arrow frog has enough poison

to kill about 2,200 people!

poison arrow frog

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Smelling bananas and/or green apples

(that’s ‘smelling’, not ‘eating’)

can help you lose weight!

banana and green apple

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A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can

be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court!

gold_2Dbar

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Word Play? Bad Jokes? Whatever you call them they’re Still Pun To Me

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few more puns to make you laugh or groan.

Enjoy them if you can.

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The cannibal was so nervous he threw up his hands

cannibal

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He said I was average – but he was just being mean.

average mean pun

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I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

hurdles

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.    

noah

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The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner – there were strings attached.

old woman who lived in a shoe

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Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you. 

xray

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We never got the tent up because of all the missed stakes we had.

Camping-Cartoon

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The book of incantations was useless. The author had failed to run a spell check.

wizard with a magic book of incantations

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I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.

trig cartoon

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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

stork carrying baby

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We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn’t even afford to pay attention.

pay attention

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I once thought about cloning a new, more efficient brain, but then I realized that I was getting a head of myself.

cloning cartoon

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If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.        

alphabet soup

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Biologists have recently produced immortal frogs by removing their vocal cords. They can’t croak.         

cartoon frog

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The police arrested two kids yesterday, one for drinking battery acid and the other one for eating fireworks. They charged one but let the other one off.

battery firework pun

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

sleeping

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A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.          

sweeping

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And finally,

 

Did you know that Macy’s have a contractual obligation to hire an unemployed man every November and December to play Father Christmas? It’s known as the Santa clause.

santaclaus

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