“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Mayday? No emergency here, unless you are allergic to bad jokes.
Coz it’s Pun Day again!
Enjoy or endure.
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I’m in dispute with my TV program supplier
as they’re trying to charge me for my satellite dish.
I’m sure they told me it would be on the house.
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My favourite pick up line…
‘Pick that up’
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Breaking News:
“UN-Staffed office bombed”
Phew, just as well there was no-one there then.
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Today, I saw a sign at a picture framing shop that said,
“Shoot the family, hang the kids, frame the wife.”
Don’t photographers have a dark sense of humour?
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My New Year’s resolution is to save
enough money to buy a Velcro wall.
And I plan on sticking to it.
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God is talking to one of his angels. He says,
“Boy, I just created a 24-hour period of
alternating light and darkness on Earth.”
“What are you going to do now?” asks the angel.
“Call it a day,” says God.
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I came downstairs this morning
to see that my curtains were drawn.
All the furniture was real though.
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I saw a woman stood in her flooded front room crying.
I thought, “If anything, you’re just making it worse.”
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Do you know what really makes me smile?
Facial muscles.
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I hired a private detective to investigate the sudden
death of my Grandad, while in intensive care.
He followed a few leads.
Faulty plug on the life support machine, apparently.
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My son was up all night answering questions about resistors.
His Physics teacher always sets too much Ohm work.
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Towards the end of the Jurassic period,
the Thesaurus was the first dinosaur to become
extinct, obsolete, belated, vanished and wiped out.
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Body-snatching.
It’s not the winning,
it’s the taking parts that counts.
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This makes no sense – yesterday my calculator
was working fine, today it isn’t working at all.
It just doesn’t add up.
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When I was a boy, my friends said
quoting songs would get me nowhere.
Well, Against All Odds, Take A Look At Me Now.
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fasab 