Perfectly Timed Photos

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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More photos for this weekend.

Nothing beats a perfectly taken photo except perhaps a perfectly timed photo.

You will find a selection of the latter variety below.

Enjoy.

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ptp army squiral

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ptp arrows

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ptp asskid

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ptp bagpuss

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ptp basketball

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ptp Big Legged Baby

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ptp bongingkevin

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ptp bull

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ptp cheshirecat

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ptp Cocka Cola

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ptp dawg2

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ptp dog

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ptp doggy-breakdance

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ptp dogstand

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ptp don't lose your head

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Further Furry Fun!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I feel a bit of a Sunday Sermon coming on, if I get the time to write it.

But for today something a lot lighter and hopefully amusing.

It’s a second helping of our animal friends. They are fun.

Enjoy.

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funny_animals 18

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funny_animals-27 originally PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

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funny_animals-28 originally PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

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funny_animals 29
Is it just me, or does this little feller look like Lil John recently on Celebrity Apprentice?

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funny_animals 30

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funny_animals 31 PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

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Funny Animal Fotos

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time to relax for the weekend.

Here are a few funny animal fotos to help.

Some are natural shots, others have been helped a little with human input but I hope you find most of them amusing.

Enjoy.

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funny_animals-01

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funny_animals 08
Foreclosure!

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May The Fourth Be With You – And This Time I Mean It!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I remember on this day last year starting out with great intentions of doing a Star Wars based post in tribute the day that has become known to many as ‘Star Wars Day’ because of the pun on the memorable phrase coined in the movie series “May the force be with you”.

Unfortunately I failed miserably last year because the post ended up as one about a guy who had built himself a really cool looking laser gun based on the phasers from Star Trek, not Star Wars. (Here’s the link if you missed it –  click here)

So time to make amends.

may the 4th be with you

Taken together the Star Wars series of movies has to be one of the most watched and highest grossing ever in the history of the cinema, if not THE greatest. The original 1977 movie itself has been estimated to have taken $2,710,800,000 in today’s inflation adjusted terms.

On top of that it has spawned a plethora of merchandising material from t-shirts to robots to gadgets to almost everything that could be seen in the movies themselves, and then some!

Top of everyone’s list has to be a lightsabre – I have never met anyone who has seen Star Wars who didn’t want to be the proud owner of a light sabre, including me.

From the first time you saw the flash of light and heard that ‘hummm’, way back in 1977, in Obi-Wan Kenobi’s bungalow, even though you didn’t really know what it was, you still knew you wanted one – needed one!

Well for a bit north of $100 now you can own one, the Star Wars Force FX Lightsaber! It has the light, it has the sound, and it looks the part – well almost.

lightsaber_extended

From the sublime, however, we also have the ridiculous.

Somewhere out there is that great Universe you just know that at least one moron has subjected their poor dog to the indignity of a Star Wars suit. Poor mutt, even the look on its face says it all.

star-wars-at-at-dog-costume

And there are lots of other stuff in between, including these

145560_f520

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 Star-Wars-themed-Evian-bottles

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han-solo-desk-2

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Finally, an interesting little piece of trivia that would just as easily have taken its place in one of my ‘Did you know factoids’. 

Star Wars fans were not the first to introduce the line “May the fourth be with you”. When the recently deceased Margaret Thatcher was elected Britain’s first female Prime Minister on May 4, 1979, her party placed an advertisement in The London Evening News that said “May the Fourth Be with You, Maggie. Congratulations.” This reading of the line has also been recorded in the UK Parliament’s Hansard.

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Featuring Fasab’s Fun Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today we are featuring Fasab’s Fun Fact File.

Another selection of random and interesting facts that may well come in handier than you think! 

And you are about to read, or try to, some of the longest words ever presented in the history of blog!!!

Enjoy.

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Honeybees use the sun as a compass which helps them navigate

nature's compass

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An average driver spends approximately 2 hours and 14 minutes

kissing in their car in a lifetime

kiss car

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The highest recorded speed of a sneeze is 165 km per hour

sneeze-cartoon

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Actress Jamie Lee Curtis invented a special diaper for babies that has a pocket

jamie-lee-curtis-diaper-patent

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On an American one-dollar bill,

there is an owl in the upper right-hand corner of the “1” encased in the “shield”

and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner

United_States_one_dollar_bill,_obverse,upper_right

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A dog by the name of Laika was launched into space

aboard the Russian spacecraft Sputnik 2 in 1957

laikalogo

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On average, an American home has 3-10 gallons of hazardous materials

hazmat

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People whose mouth has a narrow roof are more likely to snore.

This is because they have less oxygen going through their nose

snoreCartoon

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In one day, a human sheds 10 billion skin flakes.

This amounts to approximately two kilograms in a year

skinflakes

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The Arctic Ocean covers an area of about 14,056,000 sq miles

arctic_ocean

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Over 50% of lottery players go back to work after winning the jackpot

lottery winners

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The phrase

“Often a bridesmaid, but never a bride,”

actually originates from an advertisement

for Listerine mouthwash from 1924

often-a-bridesmaid-but-never-a-bride-i5

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A cesium atom in an atomic clock beats over nine billion times a second.

Cesium fountain atomic clock

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Pluto was discovered on February 10, 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh

pluto

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America’s longest place-name is really Massachusetts’

“Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamauugg”

Native American for

“you fish on your side, I fish on my side, nobody fish in the middle,”

It is also known as Lake Webster.

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamauugg

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The longest town name in the United Kingdom (and Europe) is in Wales

“Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch”

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

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In New Zealand there is

“Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu”,

which translates roughly as

“The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains,

the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one”.

At 85 letters, it has been listed in the Guinness World Records as the longest place name in the entire world.

Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu

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But that doesn’t include the formal name or Bangkok, Thailand which is over 150 letters long

“Krungthepmahanakonbowornratanakosinmahintarayudyayamahadiloponoparatanarajthan

iburiromudomrajniwesmahasatarnamornpimarnavatarsatitsakattiyavisanukamphrasit”

The translation here is pretty much the unabridged history of the city rather than a word. 

krungthep mahanakhon

The land of angels, the great city of

amorn rattanakosin

immortality, various of devine gems,

mahintara yudthaya mahadilok pohp

the great angelic land unconquerable,

noparat rajathanee bureerom

land of nine noble gems, the royal city, the pleasant capital,

udomrajniwes mahasatarn

place of the grand royal palace,

amorn pimarn avaltarnsatit

forever land of angels and reincarnated spirits,

sakatattiya visanukram prasit

predestined and created by the highest devas.

Bangkok

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This Is Too Dog Gone Funny!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yesterday’s post was a bit heavy going. So today, a little bit of light relief for you.

I’ve mentioned a few times before that I am very fond of dogs. They are great loyal companions and usually very protective of their family.

I have a strong preference for German Shepherds which are well known as being courageous, intelligent, watchful, confident and alert. I would argue that they not only have these attributes, but are also highly intelligent AND also look quite elegant as well.

But there are a multitude of different breeds out there and they all have their followers.

I wonder can the owners of these breeds say the same thing?

Enjoy.

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FunnyDog001

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ptp They Fly

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Samuel L Dogson

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Treadmills Get You Nowhere

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day!

Steel yourselves for some more rather bad jokes.

There must be a few out there with masochistic tendencies because you seem to enjoy puns or word play jokes.

Me too.

So let’s get on with today’s selection.

Enjoy!

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I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Broken Handle

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again

that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two Eskimos in a Kayak Clipart

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

Urban-Camouflage

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

two antennas

Banning the bra was a big flop.

 boobes cartoon

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Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

peeping tome

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Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

boston-alphabet

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A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only shorts made from Bubble wrap.

The psychiatrist says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

Bubble-Wrap

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

But three rights make a left.

3 rights make a left

Thieves broke into the carpet store last night.

Police think it might be rug related.

rug

Corduroy pillows. They’re making headlines.

corduroy-pillows

Why was the dog standing still?

Because it was on paws.

 happy_cartoon_dog

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A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.”

The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.”

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, “They’re twins for goodness sake! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

Juan and Ahmal

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Can Reincarnation Ever Make A Comeback?

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi, sorry to disappoint if you thought this post was going to be a discussion on reincarnation. Well I suppose it might once have been, but today it has come back as another selection of puns and word plays. Enjoy!

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I went for a depression test.

It came back negative.

depression test.

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Its pathetic to be high,

highpathetically speaking.

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It’s constipation that puts the toil into toilets.

Constipation.

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I asked my girlfriend to marry me at a football match.

She said, “No, I’d prefer a church.”

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All the good puns about the periodic table argon.

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Do you believe all that Ancient Greek stuff about Paris and Helen

and the face that launched a thousand ships?

Yes, of course I do, it’s a Troy story.

 Helen of Troy .

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Paddy goes into Macy’s department store and asks the assistant,

“Excuse me sir, but do you sell potato clocks?”

The assistant looks at him and says,

“Are you trying to be funny?

We sell cuckoo clocks, carriage clocks, grandfather clocks, alarm clocks

… what the heck is a potato clock?”

And Paddy says,

“I don’t know, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow,

and the wife said ‘You’d better get a potato clock.'”

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I’ve got an inferiority complex,

but it’s not a very good one.

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I bought a new dog yesterday.

I’ve named him Rolex

…….he’s a watchdog

watchdog.

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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.

They left a little note on the windscreen.

It said, ‘Parking Fine.’

So that was nice.

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What do Mexicans put under their carpets?

Underlay, underlay!

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Why do mice have small balls?

Not that many of them know how to dance!

 Dancing mice .

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My mate Sid was a victim of ID theft.

He’s just called S now.

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I bought a book when I was in China last year, called “How To Woo”.

I thought it might help me with my seduction techniques.

Turns out it was volume 2 of the Chinese phone book.

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I’ve had amnesia as long as I can remember.

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I can drive a woman wild with my tongue.

It’s pretty easy.

All you do is say,

“Have you put on weight?”

 dmalbit .

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And finally,

in the interests of clarification because of all the speculation currently on the media,

the real reason for the timing of the Pope’s resignation can now be revealed,

along with probably one of the worst jokes in the history of the papacy,

the Pope will resign at the end of February and not wait until after Easter,

because he doesn’t like eggs, Benedict!

 

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Thirteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

german Shepherd, puppy, puppies, “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today Part Thirteen of our look at the Classified Ads that turned out a little bit differently than originally planned.

Verification in print that stupidity is alive and well.

Enjoy!

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classad_bowtoxforyourdog.

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classified ad 240

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classad_brashop.

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classified ad 241.

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classad_buttcreamicing

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classified ad 242

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classad_Califorinashirt.

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classified ad 244.

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lassad_callJesusdirectlyfortickets.

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classified ad 243.

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classad_campbellsmicrowavablebowels.

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classified ad 247.

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classad_cardiodickboxing.

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classified ad 248.

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classad_catpeearomainwine.

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PUN: A Play On Words….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I looked in the dictionary for today’s post.

It said, PUN: a play on words; the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications; the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning.

And, do you know, it was right.

Enjoy!

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I’ve never been to our basement.

I think it’s is beneath me

Basement-Cartoon

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Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

scarecrow

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First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.

Funny sense of humor my plumber has.

tap

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When I was younger my Grandma used to rub lard into my Grandpa’s back when he was ill.

He went down hill fast after that.

Lard

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I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue.

I couldn’t put it down.

book glue

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I went in to a pet shop.

I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?”

I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

aquarium

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Just seen a sign outside the hardware store:

“Stainless Steel Sinks”.

Bit obvious, I thought.

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I went to the Video Shop the other day.

I said, “Can I take out Batman Forever?”

They said, “No, you have to bring it back tomorrow.”

Batman Forever

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God is talking to one of his angels.

He says, “Boy, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.”

“What are you going to do now?” asks the angel.

“Call it a day,” says God.

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A Freudian slip is one where you say one thing but mean a mother.

Freud

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I recently took up meditation.

It beats sitting around doing nothing.

Cartoon-Yogi-Meditating

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I was chopping up carrots with the Grim Reaper yesterday…

….You could say I was dicing with death.

grim reaper

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I went to the doctors.

He said, “You’ve got hypochondria.”

I said, “Oh no, not that as well.”

hypochondriac

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My dog is a blacksmith.

Every time I open the front door he makes a bolt for it.

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I don’t understand how people call me homophobic.

I love my house.

cartoon home

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Did you hear about the guy that trashed a Chinese restaurant?

He’s being charged with Wonton Destruction.

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