PUN: A Play On Words….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I looked in the dictionary for today’s post.

It said, PUN: a play on words; the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications; the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning.

And, do you know, it was right.

Enjoy!

.

.

I’ve never been to our basement.

I think it’s is beneath me

.

.

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

.

.

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.

Funny sense of humor my plumber has.

.

.

When I was younger my Grandma used to rub lard into my Grandpa’s back when he was ill.

He went down hill fast after that.

.

.

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue.

I couldn’t put it down.

.

.

I went in to a pet shop.

I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?”

I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

.

.

Just seen a sign outside the hardware store:

“Stainless Steel Sinks”.

Bit obvious, I thought.

.

.

I went to the Video Shop the other day.

I said, “Can I take out Batman Forever?”

They said, “No, you have to bring it back tomorrow.”

.

.

God is talking to one of his angels.

He says, “Boy, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.”

“What are you going to do now?” asks the angel.

“Call it a day,” says God.

.

.

A Freudian slip is one where you say one thing but mean a mother.

.

.

I recently took up meditation.

It beats sitting around doing nothing.

.

.

I was chopping up carrots with the Grim Reaper yesterday…

….You could say I was dicing with death.

.

.

I went to the doctors.

He said, “You’ve got hypochondria.”

I said, “Oh no, not that as well.”

.

.

My dog is a blacksmith.

Every time I open the front door he makes a bolt for it.

.

.

I don’t understand how people call me homophobic.

I love my house.

.

.

Did you hear about the guy that trashed a Chinese restaurant?

He’s being charged with Wonton Destruction.

.

.

=============================

.

Those Of A Nervous Disposition Should Look Away Now

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

Yes, those of a nervous disposition should indeed look away now, because today we have the penultimate list of irrational fears and phobias that seem to afflict certain members of the population. How and why they develop such curious mental afflictions I don’t. They are real to them, but foolish and amusing to the rest of us.

Today is ‘Q’, ‘R’ and ‘S’.

Enjoy.

.

.

Quadraphobia ……….fear of the number four.

 

Quadriplegiphobia ……….fear of quadriplegics or fear of becoming a quadriplegic.

 

Quintaphobia ……….fear of the number five.

.

Radiophobia ……….fear of radiation, x-rays.

 

Ranidaphobia ……….fear of frogs.

 

Rectophobia ……….fear of rectum or rectal diseases.

 

Rhabdophobia ……….fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.(wand)

 

Rhypophobia ……….fear of defecation.

 

Rhytiphobia ……….fear of getting wrinkles.

 

Rupophobia ……….fear of dirt.

 

Russophobia ……….fear of Russians.

 

Samhainophobia ……….fear of Halloween.

 

Sarmassophobia ……….fear of love play. (Malaxophobia)

 

Satanophobia ……….fear of Satan.

 

Scabiophobia ……….fear of scabies.

 

Scatophobia ……….fear of fecal matter.

 

Scelerophibia ……….fear of bad men, burglars.

 

Sciaphobia or Sciophobia or Sciaphobia ……….fear of shadows.

 

Scoleciphobia ……….fear of worms.

 

Scolionophobia ……….fear of school.

 

Scopophobia or Scoptophobia ……….fear of being seen or stared at.

 

Scotomaphobia ……….fear of blindness in visual field.

 

Scotophobia ……….fear of darkness. (Achluophobia)

 

Scriptophobia ……….fear of writing in public.

 

Selachophobia ……….fear of sharks.

 

Selaphobia ……….fear of light flashes.

 

Selenophobia ……….fear of the moon.

 

Seplophobia ……….fear of decaying matter.

 

Sesquipedalophobia ……….fear of long words.

 

Sexophobia ……….fear of the opposite sex. (Heterophobia)

 

Siderodromophobia ……….fear of trains, railroads or train travel.

 

Siderophobia ……….fear of stars.

 

Sinistrophobia ……….fear of things to the left or left-handed.

 

Sinophobia ……….fear of Chinese, Chinese culture.

 

Sitophobia or Sitiophobia ……….fear of food or eating. (Cibophobia)

 

Snakephobia ……….fear of snakes. (Ophidiophobia)

 

Soceraphobia ……….fear of parents-in-law.

 

Social Phobia ……….fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations.

 

Sociophobia ……….fear of society or people in general.

 

Somniphobia ……….fear of sleep.

 

Sophophobia ……….fear of learning.

 

Soteriophobia ……….fear of dependence on others.

 

Spacephobia ……….fear of outer space.

 

Spectrophobia ……….fear of specters or ghosts.

 

Spermatophobia or Spermophobia ……….fear of germs.

 

Spheksophobia ……….fear of wasps.

 

Stasibasiphobia or Stasiphobia ……….fear of standing or walking. (Ambulophobia)

 

Staurophobia ……….fear of crosses or the crucifix.

 

Stenophobia ……….fear of narrow things or places.

 

Stygiophobia or Stigiophobia ……….fear of hell.

 

Suriphobia ……….fear of mice.

 

Symbolophobia ……….fear of symbolism.

 

Symmetrophobia ……….fear of symmetry.

 

Syngenesophobia ……….fear of relatives.

 

Syphilophobia ……….fear of syphilis.

. 

=========================

.