Happy New Year And Thirteen Questions To Start Off 2013

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well, we made it. We have successfully traveled through time and here we are in 2013. Yippeee and all that.

So a very Happy New Year to one and all.

And to get us off to an easy start here are thirteen simple questions, well questions anyhow, to ease us into 2013.

Enjoy.

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If any word should be spelled the way it sounds it should be “phonetic”, so why isn’t it?

phonetic alphabet

And why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

why is abbreviation such a long word?

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Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

cartoon fat people skinny dipping

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How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

deer crossing

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Why is experience always what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted?

experience 

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If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

snowman funeral 

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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

lisp-sfull 

What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?

 hair dye for bald men

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If the person who plays the piano is called a pianist, why is the person who drives a racecar not called a racist?

 racist pianist

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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out”?

 first-man-to-milk-a-cow

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When you put ‘THE’ and ‘IRS’ together, it forms ‘THEIRS’. Coincidence? I think not?

 theirs

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Why are rubber duckies yellow when most real duckies aren’t?

rubber duckie 

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Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

pharmacy. 

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You’d Think It Should Be Easy, But You’d Be Wrong!

“Fight Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

One of my best friends is a farmer. Or was, he sold up a few years ago, tired of the long hours in all sorts of inclement weather. But he did it for many years and has a host of good stories about incidents that happened during that time.

He was a dairy farmer for a good part of his farming career. As a result he has a healthy respect, but also more than a little contempt for cows. In fact he says they are probably the stupidest animal he has ever come across. (He hasn’t met our dog that thinks it’s a cat yet!)

He says that a cow is probably the only animal that is stupid enough to get stuck behind a open gate. Actually I’ve seen this happen myself. If a field gate is partially open at least one of them will get between it and the hedge or fence and they don’t seem to be able to figure out how to reverse and take a new route out of the field.

If you’re having a laugh at that, good. It’s even funnier when you see it in person I assure you. But there’s something even stupider than the cow I fear. That is people, some people! Take this lady in the video below.

All she has to do is reverse her car out of the garage.

Simple?

Of course not!

Have a look (I’m not sure I would like her driving my kids around, would you?)

(Acknowledgements and thanks to Pradeep for finding this one)