Sometimes I Forget How Amazing My Memory Is.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Hi everyone. Its 2015 so a Very Happy New Year to one and all.

And to get this new year off to a good start here is a bit of word play for you.

Yes, it’s Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

Drums with no skins.

You can’t beat them.

Drums with no skins

.

.

Just to clear things up,

I use a brush

brush

.

.

Want to hear a construction joke?

I’m building up to it.

simponsconstruct

.

.

My leg won’t stop mooing.

I think I’ve got a calf injury.

mooing

.

.

I’d find some affordable glasses,

in an eye deal world.

affordable glasses

.

.

I had a fight with some

furniture the other day.

Nobody won though,

it was a drawer.

drawer

.

.

A Spanish magician tells the audience

he will disappear on the count of three.

He says, “Uno, dos…..”

*POOF*

….he disappeared without a tres.

jorge-blass

.

.

I was in good position to win the

International shoelace-tying

championships yesterday ,

But I buckled under the pressure.

shoelace-tying

.

.

I just realized that I haven’t done

the hokey pokey in over 10 years.

I guess when you get older,

you just forget what it’s all about.

hokey pokey

.

.

I hated my job as an escapologist.

I couldn’t get out of it quick enough.

escapologist

.

.

An Irish ‘Star Trek’ fan has been

assassinated by the Mafia.

He was capped in Cork.

Cork, Ireland

.

.

Whenever I see a broken elevator

I stair.

broken elevator

.

.

My family regard my cousin

as a skeleton in the closet.

He’s a gay anorexic.

skeleton in the closet

.

.

I’ve come to the belief that ‘crazy’

is a relative term with my family.

crazy

.

.

Where does a Jamaican composer live?

In D flat.

.

.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

.

 

 

Let’s Not Have A Barney About These Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Hi, and welcome to the fasab blog.

Today is fact day with another random selection of hopefully interesting things to learn.

Enjoy

.

did you know1

.

In gangster slang, a boxing match

that is fixed is called a ‘barney’.

boxers

.

.

In 2009, one of the twelve surviving copies of

Edgar Allen Poe’s first book ‘Tamerlane and Other Poems’

was sold at Christie’s Auction House for $662,500,

a record price paid for a work of American literature.

Tamerlane and Other Poems

.

.

 

Isaac Smith was a commissioned officer in

the Royal Navy and the cousin of Captain Cook,

with whom he explored the then-New World.

Smith also became the first European to arrive in eastern Australia

and the first man to create survey maps of various Pacific islands and coastlines,

including Tierra del Fuego in South America.

Despite all his pioneering in the world of exploration

he is best remembered as the last survivor

of James Cook’s first voyage in the South Pacific Ocean

aboard the HMS Endeavour, from 1768 to 1771.

Midshipman_Isaac_Smith

.

.

Research suggests that dark chocolate boosts memory,

attention span, reaction time, and problem-solving skills

by increasing blood flow to the brain.

Dark chocolate can also improve the ability

to see in low-contrast situations (such as poor weather)

and promote lower blood pressure.

Yum!

dark chocolate

.

.

On average, 35 meters of hair fiber

is produced on the adult scalp.

Really???

shaved_head

.

.

Ant colonies range greatly in size from

a few dozen individuals to many millions of ants.

The largest ant colonies are called ‘supercolonies’ that create

giant ant hills sometimes thousands of miles long.

The largest supercolony covers over 3,700 miles,

and has over 1 billion ants.

african_ant_hill

.

.

Most toilets flush in E flat.

toilet

.

.

The largest building in the world by volume

is The Boeing Everett Factory, in Everett, Washington,

which was originally built for the construction of the Boeing 747.

It has a volume of 472,370,319 cubic feet (1.7495e+7yd³)

and an area of almost 100 acres (40 ha 4685.6m2).

The Boeing Everett Factory

.

.

Oak trees can live 200 years or more.

angel-oak-tree-l

.

.

Astronaut John Glenn is a decorated World War II veteran,

one of the first American astronauts in history,

and one of the epic Mercury Seven.

Glenn was also the first American astronaut to orbit the Earth

and the fifth astronaut in history to go into space.

At the age of 93 he’s the last remaining astronaut of the Mercury Seven

and one of the very few surviving astronauts (American or Soviet)

of the Space Age that began in the late 1950s.

John Glenn

.

.

A less successful astronaut was a Chinese man called Wan Hu,

a sixteenth-century local government official during the Ming Dynasty,

who had ambitions to travel to the Moon by means of a

special chair he designed with 47 attached rockets.

After lighting the rockets,

instead of shooting the ambitious government official into the air,

the rockets exploded, killing him.

Wan Hu

.

.

When Pluto was first located by Clyde Tombaugh in 1930

it was just given the generic name Planet X.

It was named ‘Pluto’ by an 11-year-old girl,

Venetia Burney of Oxford, England.

Venetia Burney of Oxford, England

.

.

Want somewhere quiet to eat?

Then try Nicholas Nauman’s restaurant called ‘Eat’

in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, New York,

which features nothing special except for the fact

that you cannot speak while dining there.

Apparently it was inspired by his life-changing stay

at a Buddhist monastery in India,

which made him want to create a place

where people could enjoy silence.

The silent dinners became so popular that nowadays,

people have to book their tables in advance.

restaurant called ‘Eat’

.

.

The first toilet stall in a public washroom is the least likely to be used

and therefore also likely to be the cleanest.

first toilet stall in a public washroom

.

.

The character of Michael Myers

was named after the European distributor of

John Carpenter’s previous film,

Assault on Precinct 13,

and apparently this was the director’s way of

saying a kind of weird “thank you” for the

film’s incredible success throughout most of Europe.

Michael_Myers

.

===================================

.

Veni, Vidi, Velcro… I Came, I Saw, I Stuck Around.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I hope you stick around too, because it’s another Pun Day.

You know the drill….

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD

where all he does all day is organize dinner plates by the year they were made,

It’s an extremely rare dish-order

spinning-plates

.

.

I’ve written my own book

called 50 Shades of Gravy.

It’s very saucy.

gravy

.

.

I’m an easy target for muggers.

Take it from me.

mugger

.

.

I knew I had failed my Braille exam at the time.

It just felt wrong.

Braille exam

.

.

“How’s your new stairlift nan?”

“It’s driving me up the wall.”

stairlift

.

.

Just finished an experiment to find

the best cure for hiccups.

The result was a big surprise.

Hiccups-Scare

.

.

I stabbed someone with a blunt pencil today.

It was an act of pointless violence.

blunt pencil

.

.

I just took some pills and now my pupils look massive!

I really shouldn’t take hallucinogenic drugs while teaching.

The Simpsons Homer Dilated Pupil

.

.

The wife would like us to feel a gentle and relaxing breeze

all over our bodies when we have sex.

I’m not a fan.

fan

.

.

I thought I’d dug up an unknown

species of dinosaur in my back garden.

Excitedly I phoned the Natural History Museum,

but it turned out to be a fossil arm.

fossil arm

.

.

Do you think eating horse meat

would give you the trots?

the trots

.

.

I got my girlfriend the Connery and Dalton

James Bond movies for her birthday,

but she wasn’t happy.

I think she was expecting Moore.

roger_moore___007

.

.

Hungry astronomers don’t like galaxies,

they prefer something that’s a little meteor.

meteor

.

.

I have an Eskimo fetish,

but most people just aren’t that Inuit.

Selawik-Eskimo-Woman

.

.

I’ve booked a table at one of those new

Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses.

They’re for people who love meat tender.

.

.

=======================================

.