All Generalizations Are False.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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All generalizations are false, except for the one that says people enjoy puns or word plays.

Just to prove the point here is another selection.

Enjoy or endure!!

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There are only five vowels but

nobody’s ever thought to ask y.

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A 600 pound man committed suicide

by jumping into a ravine.

He gorged himself to death.

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What do you call a

vicar on a motorbike?

Rev.

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I lost my job as Donald Duck at

Disneyworld after I put on some weight.

I just didn’t fit the bill.

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Mirror inspecting is a job

I can’t really see myself doing.

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My friend’s wife is really ugly.

So I asked him one day,

“Why do you take her out so much?”

“So I don’t have to kiss her goodbye,” he confessed.

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An ice rink is a good place

to go to pick up women.

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I wouldn’t say the cruise ship was old

but it was insured against fire, piracy,

and falling off the edge of the world.

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If I get one more request to do a somersault,

I’m gonna flip.

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If vegetarians love animals so much,

why do they eat all their food?

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I left my last girlfriend because

she wouldn’t stop counting.

I often wonder what she’s up to now.

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My son is learning to play the guitar

How clef-er.

Wonder if he’ll ever be as good as this kid?

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Gullibility test kit – send $19.99 now!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Gullible or not now is your chance to look at this week’s selection of word plays, better known as puns.

As usual they come with choice….

Enjoy or endure!!

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I have four problems in life:

counting,

remembering

and counting.

 

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I was driving along the other day,

when a bloke stopped me and said,

“Your back mud flaps have fallen off.”

I said, “Can’t do much about it now,

I’ll just carry on rear guard less.”

 

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Stable relationships

are for horses

 

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My friend told me that after years of doubt,

he is now convinced my wife is having an affair.

“We’ve gone and moved 250 miles away,” he told me.

“And we’ve still got the same window cleaner.”

 

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It’s times like these, when I’m sat

in bed with my computer on my knee,

that I really wish I’d bought a laptop.

 

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I think I may have a shower.

Just checked, yes I do, it’s upstairs.

 

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I just found $20 hanging from my ceiling.

It was a suicide note.

 

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Exaggerations went up

by a million percent last year.

 

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If Einstein hadn’t come up with

the Theory of Relativity,

someone else would have.

It was only a matter of time.

 

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My cat is absolutely terrified

of thunder and lightening.

The pussy.

 

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What part of my body is as long as your thigh,

contains over 120 muscles,

and is an anagram of “pensi”?

No, you’re completely wrong.

The correct answer is my spine.

 

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According to my facebook timeline,

I had no life before joining Facebook in 2012.

I believe it to be the other way around.

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Did You Know? More Fabulous Facts Folks!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Not much else needs to be said about today’s post.

Another selection of fabulous facts.

Enjoy.

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At one point in the 1990s,

50% of all CDs produced worldwide were for AOL.

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A British man changed his name to Tim Pppppppppprice

to make it harder for telemarketers to pronounce.

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Google’s founders were willing to sell to Excite

for under $1 million in 1999

—but Excite turned them down.

(Huge big dumb move, where is Excite today!)

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Officials in Portland, Ore., drained 8 million gallons of water

from a reservoir in 2011 because a buzzed 21-year-old peed in it.

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When three-letter airport codes became standard,

airports that had been using two letters simply added an X.

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A California woman once tried to sue the makers of Cap’n Crunch

because Crunch Berries contained “no berries of any kind.”

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Actor Wilford Brimley who has appeared in such films as

The China Syndrome, Cocoon, The Thing and The Firm,

was once Howard Hughes’s bodyguard.

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According to Amazon, the most highlighted Kindle books are

the Bible, the Steve Jobs biography, and The Hunger Games.

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During WWI, German measles were called “liberty measles”

and dachshunds became “liberty hounds.”

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In Spain, Mr. Clean is known as Don Limpio.

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After leaving office, President Lyndon B Johnson

went all hippy and let his hair grow out.

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There was a third Apple founder. Ronald Wayne

he sold his 10% stake for $800 in 1976.

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If you start counting at one and spell out the numbers as you go,

you won’t use the letter “A” until you reach 1,000.

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In Gaddafi’s compound, Libyan rebels found a photo album

filled with pictures of Condoleezza Rice.

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Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men is used by researchers

to attract animals to cameras in the wilderness.

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Only one McDonald’s in the world has turquoise arches.

Sedona, AZ thought yellow clashed with the natural red rock.

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Marie Curie’s notebooks are still radioactive.

Researchers hoping to view them must sign a disclaimer.

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The 50-star American flag was designed by an Ohio high school student

for a class project. His teacher originally gave him a B–.

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Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima for work

when the first A-bomb hit,

made it home to Nagasaki for the second,

and lived to be 93.

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Barry Manilow did not write his hit “I Write the Songs.”

It was actually written by the former Beach Boy Bruce Johnston.

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