Understanding what is beyond the horizon is beyond me.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

But puns I do understand.

What is a little more puzzling is why I like them and why so many others do as well.

Still, we can figure out that conundrum another time.

For now it’s another Pun Day, so….

Enjoy or endure!

.

.

I bought a cheap Jack-in-a-box

and it’s not much good.

It doesn’t surprise me.

 

.

.

Some guy came up to me in the street today

and said “Wow, you look odd.”

I replied “Well, so do you.”

“Guess that made us even.”

 

.

.

I’ve just come back from the corner shop.

I bought four corners.

 

.

.

So King Abdullah died,

that should sheikh things up a bit.

 

.

.

I’ve got a part time job for a company

making rubberized computer keyboards.

It’s flexible shifts.

 

.

.

Someone stopped me while I was jogging

this morning to ask why I had

duct tape over my mouth.

I didn’t answer.

It’s a running gag.

 

.

.

A friend of mine bought a second hand

deck of cards from a casino in Las Vegas,

but after four weeks they hadn’t arrived.

When he asked for an update, they said

they were still dealing with his order.

 

.

.

Did you hear about the fisherman

who was learning Spanish

He got lost at Si

 

.

.

I’m currently reading a book about

North African invaders during

Medieval times and can’t put it down.

Its very moorish.

 

.

.

I looked up the definition of

the word “arbitrary” today.

For no particular reason.

 

.

.

My boss said,

“As part of our cost-saving drive we are

installing energy-efficient lights in the toilets.

They work on a motion detection system.”

I replied,

“That’s all fair and well, but what if

someone’s just going in for a pee?”

 

.

.

A storm has ripped through

my coconut farm…

I’m desiccated.

 

.

.

Whenever I find a pretty girl

I look for intelligence.

Because if she doesn’t have that,

then she’s mine!

 

.

.

I always ask too many questions.

Does anybody know why this is?

 

.

.

I text a friend the other day asking him

who his favorite composer is.

Surprisingly, he didn’t text Bach.

.

.

==================================

.

All You Have To Do Is Ask? Really??

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

. 

They say that all you have to do is ask.

Well, I’m asking, so I guess the rest is up to you.

Here you go….

. 

. 

Why doesn’t onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

. 

.

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

.

. 

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss ? Shouldn’t it be called a near hit ?

.

.

Why isn’t palindrome spelled the same way backwards?

.

.

Why is it called TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?

.

.

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

.

.

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

.

.

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

.

.

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

.

.

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway

.

.

Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

.

.

So what’s the speed of dark?

.

.

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

.

.

Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?

.

.

If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?

.

.

Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

.

.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

.

========================

. 

The Curious Case Of The Coroner’s Conundrum

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

In 1994, at the annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, their then president, Don Harper Mills, astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death.

Needless to say it featured an idiot, in fact several idiots, which is why it is being recounted on the fasab blog.

This is the unlikely story.

 

On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head.

The deceased had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He had left behind a note indicating his depression.

As he fell past the ninth floor, his attempt to kill himself was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the jumper were aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide because of this.

Ordinarily, if a person sets out with the intention of killing himself and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he originally intended, the death would be deemed a suicide.

Thus, in normal circumstances, the fact that Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide.

However, in this case, the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful, because of the safety nets, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor where the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by and elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. But he was so upset that when he pulled trigger he completely missed his wife and the shotgun pellets went through window striking Opus as he fell and killing him.

The Coroner held that, “When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B.”

However, when confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded.

The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her – therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident in that the gun had been accidentally loaded by someone else.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.

The case now became one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

 

But even that would not be enough to feature in this blog.

Further investigation revealed that the son, was none other than one Ronald Opus, who had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder.

This had led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a blast from the shotgun he had loaded himself some six weeks previously as he fell past the ninth story window of his parents’ apartment.

 

The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.