What Do Creflo Dollar And Me Have In Common?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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creflo dollar

I hope there aren’t too many things that Creflo Dollar and I have in common. But the one thing that I am sure of that we do have in common is that neither of us own a $65 million private jet. (We’d probably both like to but that’s a whole different story.)

Creflo, if you don’t know already, is one of those despicable TV preachers who spend 99.9 percent of their time trying to swindle money out of gullible and stupid people who think he is really a ‘man of God’.

This pastor’s latest attempt to enrich himself at the expense of his congregation was just as blatant piece of greed and fraud as I’ve come across.

He wanted $65 million.

Nothing wrong with that, if he was going to spend it building a hospital wing, feeding the poor, housing the homeless, or some other equally good works.

But Creflo wanted the $65 million to buy himself a private jet, and a pretty swanky one come to that.

creflo-dollar-airplane

I know what you’re thinking.

I thought the same.

But it turns out that Creflo didn’t want the jet for personal gain, although he would end up owning it and using it.

Oh, dear me no, not at all.

Creflo just wanted to use the private jet to transport food to the starving peoples of the world. Oh yes, and to save the lives of Christians being persecuted in the Middle east.

Personally, if these were indeed the reasons for wanting an airplane, I’d have set my sights on something a little more modest and of the cargo, rather than the luxury passenger, variety. You can pack a heck of a lot more boxes of food into an empty cargo fuselage than you can into one crammed with plush leather reclining seats, plama TV screens, beds, drinks cabinets and all the other luxury fittings you can find in a bespoke Gulfstream private jet.

It didn’t work of course. Thankfully.

It transpired that not even the type of gullible Americans who watch this kind of TV trash fell for Creflo’s obvious display of greed and self-agrandisement. After disappointing results and adverse publicity the web page soliciting donations for the private jet disappeared – and so did Creflo.

For a while, that is.

But he came back and when he did he had the usual religious scammer’s excuses all lined up. The reason for his disappearance was because he was “talking with God” – not the real one of course, but his own personal version, the one who only told him what he wanted to hear.

And his fake god told Creflo that his scam to get himself a private jet had failed because the ‘forces of evil’ had interfered with his plans and set out to discredit him.

one of Creflo Dollar's cribs
one of Creflo Dollar’s modest little cribs

 

It’s a pity they hadn’t got to work on Creflo before now. Before he was able to scam his supporters out of enough money to buy him a million dollar home in Atlanta, another $2.5 million home in Manhattan, a Rolls-Royce motor car, and just enough money to buy one private jet back in 1999.

I wish we had heard the last from people like Creflo.

But somehow I doubt it.

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Plant Puns: Weed ‘Em And Reap!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Not really a day of plant puns, but it is Pun Day, so you might want to weep anyway.

You know the drill (little gardening pun there).

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Teacher: If you were a great composer,

where would you live?

Boy: In A Flat.

Jimi Hendrix's flat

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I missed today’s Hairdressing Championships,

can anyone tell me if there were any highlights?

Hairdressing Championships

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The World Health Organization has

just announced its new slogan.

“WHO cares”.

WHO cares

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My teacher said I was average,

I told him that’s just mean.

average and mean

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I used to be a gold prospector,

but it didn’t pan out.

gold prospector

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I’ve written my own political manifesto

but I haven’t used one single upper-case letter.

I’m not a capitalist.

lower-case letter

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Men with gender issues have it tough in the UK,

I’m sure they’d love to be a broad.

Men with gender issues

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I wrote some new hymns for the congregation

to sing at my local church and the

Vicar says everybody loves them.

They can’t stop singing my praises.

hymns for the congregation

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I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub.

He seemed like a decent feller.

lumberjack

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If you want to be a coroner be

prepared for a stiff examination.

coroner

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My friend is a real Don Juan with the ladies.

The ladies Don Juan anything to do with him.

Don Juan with the ladies

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When I was in the army I reckoned all

officers higher up that Colonels are assholes.

But I hate when people Generalize.

Generals

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I’ve never seen a flamenco dancer,

but those Spaniards must be clever

to train a bird of that size.

flamingo dancer

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My wife is trying to wind me up

with jibes about my impotence.

I’m not rising to that.

jibes about my impotence

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I didn’t want to go to the

“I Love The 80s” fancy dress party,

but my friend was adamant.

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