The Ultimate Signs From The Churches

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today we have the final selection in our look at some Church signs that went the way of the failed classifieds.

See if you can pick out the ones that didn’t quite turn out as the author probably intended.

Enjoy.

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church_methodistmarquais

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church_myspaceinheaven.

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church_newprospectchurch.

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church_noacinhell.

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church_noahandthe2mosquitoes.

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church_obamasign16.

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church_ohgod.

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church_onyourknees.

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church_prepareforyourfinals.

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church_readthebibleuser.

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church_santadiedfornobody.

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church_somequestions.

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church_spiritualfruitfornuts.

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church_stjopsephsign.

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church_stolenbible.

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church_stopdropandroll.

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church_swallowingpride.

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church_turnoffthycellphone.

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churchsignsnow.

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church_thekingwhoridesadonkey.

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church_thetonguecanslip

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church_thevirginmary

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aFrankAngle’s A-to-Z Challenge On Fasab

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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My blog friend Frank over at A Frank Angle came up with the idea of doing a post based on an alphabetical listing of a selection of his previous posts. An interesting idea and a good way to introduce more recent readers to some of the things they might otherwise have missed.

Of course, Frank couldn’t leave it at that, so he threw out a challenge for others to try to do the same for their blogs. And guess who couldn’t resist the challenge!

So here you are, for new and long term readers of this blog, a alphabetical journey through some of the files of Fasab!

Enjoy.

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afaa2zbadge

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A is for….

Awkward Moments, (Part One, Part Two and Part Three), a short series of amusing anecdotes of times when things didn’t go quite right.

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B is for….

Banksters, one of my perpetual hate figures and the subject of numerous rants such as this one

Are The Banksters Guilty Of Treason Against The Nation?

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C is for….

Classifieds, a long running series of funny classified ads that turned out rather differently to the original intent, for example Part Three and Part Fourteen

And also for factoids about Chocolate and Coffee which people seemed to enjoy

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D is for….

Dogs. I make no secret of the fact that I am very fond of dogs, and German Shepherds in particular. You won’t get a better or more loyal companion and friend. I’ve done several doggie posts, this one has been the most popular,

Sometimes Dogs Know More Than We Give Them Credit For

And for Dear Abbey, no blog like this would be complete without a few letters from Joe Public seeking advice for some of their most disturbing problems.

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E is for….

Education, the lack of, as evidenced by these student exam answers, Part One and Part Two

And also for Emergency Room, some amusing anecdotes from the medical world.

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F is for….

Facebook, in particular the disastrous launch of the company on to the stock market which inspired the longest alliterated blog post title so far

Furious Flabbergasted Facebook Fools Face Frightening Falls From Fanciful Flagging Financial Flotation Farce

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G is for….

The Great Escape, a short story aout an intrepid group of construction workers held hostage by Saddam Hussein before the outbreak of the first war with Iraq

And also for a Glass Of Milk being raised in tribute to Samuel J Porcello, the man who made Oreos what they are today.

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H is for….

Has to be for The Late Great Mr Harry Meadows, an old fellow whose efforts to spice up life in an English nursing home didn’t quite work out as intended.

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I is for….

I Miss Him, and I Miss Him Two, a nostalgic look back at some of the wonderful statements of President George W Bush.

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J is for….

The Journey, an eight part story of an eventful and amusing journey from Dublin, Ireland to the Caribbean, by way of Miami, Florida. This was one of the first things I wrote for this blog and published before there was much viewing traffic

Dublin Airport,  –   Reconfigured And Stuck,  –   The Three Hour Stopover,  –   What Color Was It?   –  Just A Trip To The Mall,   –  Miami Twice, Lost In That Is,   –  Bags And Bags And Bags Of Bother,  and  Finally, I Made It!

K is for….

Korea, my take on the current posturing and politics concerning North and South Korea,

Is Obama Making A Bad Korea Move?

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L is for….

A Long Love Affair, a short story about my own geeky love affair with computers during the past few decades.

And for Lost In The Fog, a short story about Tommy who managed to get completely lost in the field beside his house.

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M is for….

The MilPost Blog Award, another thing inspired by Frank who was the first blogger to receive this prestigious award only given to those few bloggers who have posted 1,000 times or more on their blog. If you know of anyone who is eligible to receive it please let me know.

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N is for….

Numbers, an on going series of factoids about numbers and their meanings and associations, that has surprised me in the numbers of people viewing them. So far the most popular number is Twenty-Three 23.

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O is for….

One Small Step For Man, a tribute on hearing of the death of Neil Armstrong the first man to set foot on the Moon. There are differing views on how Mr Gorsky fared, but I hope he did okay!

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P is for….

No, you’re all wrong. P is for my loving tribute to the wonderful invention knows as Peanut Butter.

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Q is for….

Quiz Show Answers, a very funny and long running series about the dumb answers given by contestants on various TV and radio quizzes over the years. Like this for example,

It’s Monday And That Means Some More Quiz Show Answers

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R is for….

Revenge Of The First Graders, part of a short series of guess the logo quizzes, apparently kids can recognize about 200 of these by the time they are ready for the first grade!

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S is for….

Stupidity, one of the foundation stones of this blog. No one is immune, especially not politicians and lawyers.

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T is for….

Tarzan and Travel Agents, both of whom made an appearance on the fasab blog.

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U is for….

US Politics And Foreign Policy For Dummies, sometimes it takes a kid to show us how absurd the world of adults really is!

And ‘U’ is for Up, as in People Hardly Ever Look Up, Sometimes They Should!

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V is for….

Versatile Blogger Award. Actually that should be ‘awards’ the first nomination from Alex way back when this blog was barely two months old, and subsequently from Sunny and Wendy. The Fasab blog has also been nominated for the Illuminating Blogger Award (Kenton), Sunshine Award (Wendy again) and the Kreative Blogger Award (Nabdip). My sincere thanks to everyone who though this blog worthy of nomination and I will get round to doing a proper awards page I promise.

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W is for….

Word Play. Yes, you were right, just in the wrong place. I like puns and they feature almost every week somewhere in my blog. So like them, or hate them, or like to hate them, or even hate to like them, you’re sure to find some here.

Why Are Puns So Popular?

Word Play, Bad Jokes, Whatever You Call Them They’re Still Pun To Me

It’s Thursday And That Means Another Excuse For A Few More Bad Jokes

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X is for….

X-rated, a steamy tension filled post about My Morning In Bed With Derek. Read it if you dare!

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Y is for….

Your Country Needs You, a story about a friend’s unusual introduction to the military world.

And You’re Too Stupid To Own A Computer, about pc owners and technical helplines!

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Z is for….

Zero, there are no ‘Z’ posts on this blog, unless the ones that put you to sleep reading them!

I suppose I could have used some of the quiz or puzzle posts, but that’s a bit of a cop out.

I hope this means that Fasab has yet to reach its zenith.

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So that’s it, the Fasab A – Z. Feel free to click any or all of the links that take your fancy, and, as always, enjoy!

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Frank has asked me to remind everyone that no nominations are required to take part in the A2Z challenge, so why not have a go. It’s a bit of work, but fun too, and it gives you the excuse to look over some of your old posts.
The details are on Frank’s blog. To go there, click here!

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Twenty-Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And they said it wouldn’t last.

Yes we are at part twenty-three of the classified ad disasters and the stupidity shows no sign of abating – thank goodness.

Here’s the latest batch.

Enjoy.

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classad_yourkidswillloveCoorslight

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classad_videoprojectoronitsass

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classad_walmartdressing

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classad_wecatteranyoccasion

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classad_weddingannouncement

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classad_wholecats

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classad_whyItaliansprefertoeatathome

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classad_withoutkonwlageofbasicenglish

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np_carnotforsale

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np_circumcismsummercut

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classad_viginabakedham

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and finally, at last a sport I could do really well,

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classad_whitewaterfarting

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CLASSIFIED: For your Eyes Only, Part Twenty-Two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another short selection of some of the silliest classified ads ever made.

How the people who constructed these didn’t see anything wrong with them I just don’t know. They obviously were reading what was in their head, not what was written down in front of them.

Still, it wasn’t a total waste of time. It’s given us something to smile about.

Enjoy.

PS: John, if you are reading this, there’s one of these suspiciously like the photo you use 🙂

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classad_supporttheneedy

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classad_thankyoucard

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classad_the3es

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classad_throwsknifeatpastor

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classad_tireswing

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classad_Titaniccanoerental

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classad_toiletpaperdemo

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classad_toyyodablackandwhite

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classad_turketshoot

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classad_urinatedchicken

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classad_takebullbytheballs

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classad_Susiechangedhershirt
I do believe she has changed her shirt!

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Twenty-One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hurrah!

They’ve come of age.

This is the twenty-first edition of the worst classified ads in the world, or at least that small bit of the world that I come into contact with. If you have as good or as bad as these please feel free to send them over. 

Enjoy.

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classad_salivatests

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classad_sandwichchoices

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classad_scamline

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classad_semigrosspaint

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classad_septicchickenbroth

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classad_seriouslotion

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classad_sipabowel

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classad_smokealarmsthedoorbell

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classad_smokealarm

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classad_spaklingwines

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classad_spamforschoollunch

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classad_speedylunchbuffett

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classad_steelhandledshovel

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classad_storehoursclosed

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Twenty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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My goodness! What started off at a quick amusing look at classified ads that went horribly wrong, has turned into a major series on the fasab blog. And it seems to be quite popular too. Thanks to everyone who calls in to read these.

And why shouldn’t they be popular? They show the raw stupidity of people. Don’t forget that usually a lot of time and effort is spent “perfecting” these horrors before they are sent for publication.

Here’s some more.

Enjoy!

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classad_peebakedpumpkinpie

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classad_petsamorecafe

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classad_picnicfeast.

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classad_Pilgrimdollwithsword.

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classad_pizzafeast.

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classad_poohsiftinsandbox

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classad_prescription.

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classad_qualityphotographs

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classad_quickielickielaundrymat

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classad_QuietClients

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classad_readyourweightinthepalmofyourhand

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classad_redeemcouponforacoupon

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classad_regularortastybologna

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classad_PassingGas

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Nineteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Classified ads day. 

Time to present another selection of classified ads that should be classified as something else.

Enjoy.

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classified ad newdorkstripsteak

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classified ad newpizza.

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classified ad nomoredoublechin.

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classified ad nopersonalchickenaccepted

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classified ad nutcrackershorts

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classified ad ObamainIrishad

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classified ad OilChange

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classified ad offincestrepellant

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classified ad oldfolkssausage

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classified ad onegallonhipflask

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classified ad onehourphotgraphy

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classified ad outdatedsnack

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classified ad outhousefudge

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classified ad paidforbyDebbieMartin

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classified ad onlyYouknowitsawig

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CLASSIFIED: For your Eyes Only, Part Eighteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to the latest batch of classified ads that failed the one simple test that all advertisements should pass

– did it say what it was supposed to say?

These didn’t.

Enjoy.

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classad_kidspaywhattheyweigh

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classad_krispykremedrive.

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classad_last1000hoursinEnglish.

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classad_licolontowncar.

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classad_livetoiletdemo.

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classad_loseupto205poundsperweek.

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classad_MagSubscription.

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classad_manuresummit.

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classad_mathathon.

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classad_mercuryfishandchips

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classad_mensurnalmagazine

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classad_michaeljackson

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classad_mushmoms

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classad_nachoplatter.

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classad_newagetherapy.

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Seventeen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Here we go with another bunch of classified ads.

They looked perfect, but not to most people.

Enjoy.

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classad_halfto50percentoff

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classad_HalloweenFleetEnema

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classad_hamhockssquirrel

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classad_haveahorsesitonyourlap

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classad_honkybowl

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classad_honorroll

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classad_hugendazicecream

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classad_hungarymandinners

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classad_huntersafety

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classad_hyptonistallyoucaneatbringyourownfood

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classad_illiterateinEnglish

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classad_insultingfabric

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classad_irregularcorndogs

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classad_joyoffasting

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classad_justacrossfromthewomensprison

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Sixteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another edition of the classified ads. Those advertisements that didn’t quite turn out as planned in the minds of those who devised them.

The first one reminded me of a small take-away Chinese establishment in a town near where I used to live. A friend and I stopped off there on the way home from work one evening, both of us hungry but not wanting to waste the time going for a sit-down meal.

We ordered our food and all went well. The take-away had an excellent reputation for producing good food and it was always very busy.

Sure enough after about ten minutes or so our ticket was called and I went up to the counter to collect.

It wasn’t the usual girl on duty that evening, but a small rather elderly Chinese lady.

Had it been the usual girl she would have known to pack some utensils, like a plastic fork, in the bag, but instead the little Chinese lady looked up into my face and asked in a heavily accented but loud voice for all to hear,

“D’ya wanna fok?”

There was momentary silence, no one quite knowing what they thought they had heard. Then my mouth got in the way of good sense and I said, “No thanks, I’m just in to get something to eat.”

Then everyone laughed and I made my way out of the place before any further conversation or explanation.

As it turns out the joke was on me in the end because I left without getting a ‘fok’ so the meal had to wait until I got home.

So that by way of anecdotal introduction leads us nicely to today’s classifieds.

Enjoy!

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classad_FuKingRestaurant

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classad_freegolf

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classad_freewith20beers.

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classad_engrish.

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classad_enjoyfreshesticecream

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classad_freeeye.

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classad_freshmadeshrimpthing.

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classad_frodfocus.

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classad_frozenicecubes.

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classad_fullycookedsushi.

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classad_Genuine20percentFaux.

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classad_getnewgasgrill.

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classad_grilledchickenandherpes.

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classad_groundgeef.

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classad_guidedogbarbeque.

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classad_girlwithlegsoppositebody.

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