The Ultimate Signs From The Churches

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today we have the final selection in our look at some Church signs that went the way of the failed classifieds.

See if you can pick out the ones that didn’t quite turn out as the author probably intended.

Enjoy.

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church_methodistmarquais

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church_myspaceinheaven.

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church_newprospectchurch.

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church_noacinhell.

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church_noahandthe2mosquitoes.

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church_obamasign16.

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church_ohgod.

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church_onyourknees.

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church_prepareforyourfinals.

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church_readthebibleuser.

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church_santadiedfornobody.

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church_somequestions.

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church_spiritualfruitfornuts.

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church_stjopsephsign.

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church_stolenbible.

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church_stopdropandroll.

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church_swallowingpride.

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church_turnoffthycellphone.

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churchsignsnow.

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church_thekingwhoridesadonkey.

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church_thetonguecanslip

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church_thevirginmary

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More Signs From The Church

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today another selection of signs from various Churches that didn’t turn out to be s heavenly as perhaps intended, but some of them quite clever too! (But not the first one though, they couldn’t even spell Church!)

Enjoy.

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church_forgiveyourenemies

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church_godshownofavoritism

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church_godslastname400

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church_havefaithlifted

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church_howwillyouspendeternity

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church_ifevolution

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church_ifyourreligion

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church_Ihatethischurch

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church_Ikissedagirl

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church_imaginehell

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church_letmebetheperson

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church_lookingforasignfrojmGod

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church_loosetongue

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church_makingholywater

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church_mandatoryrectalprobe

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church_lipsthattouchliquor

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Signs From The Church

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A slight break from the classic classified ads this weekend.

But some of these are every bit as funny, some even more so.

Give them and try and tell me what you think.

Enjoy!  

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church autumn leaves jesus

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church bring your own jesus

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church cafe and chat

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church church cartoon

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church church parking only

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church clown led worship

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church _come inside for message

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church doesnt work in hell

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church dont let worries

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church dont make me come down there

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church download your worries

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church everyday above ground

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Sometimes Even The Church Gets It Wrong

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

It’s Good Friday today, so perhaps something with a little bit of a religious flavor. Of course this blog being what it is there has to be a bit of humor involved as well.

Churches are invariably full of well meaning people whose enthusiasm to help does not always tie in with their ability. Some of them are ‘old dears’ with nothing else in their lives, others are actually hard workers and good organizers and help to keep everything running where it would otherwise fall apart.

But, to be frank, there are people who are just plain stupid. They hold the positions they do either because everyone else is too polite to tell them to move over, or, much more likely, because there isn’t anyone else willing to step up.

These people can be frustrating at times, but they don’t do any real harm. In fact now and again they can be downright amusing as the following efforts to write notes and announcements for various Churches clearly confirms.

As always, I hope you enjoy.

 

 

Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

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The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

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On a church bulletin during the minister’s illness:

GOD IS GOOD; Dr. Hargreaves is better.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.

Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:

“I Upped My Pledge ! – Up Yours!”

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Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

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The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.

All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

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Today’s Sermon: How Much Can a Man Drink? with hymns from a full choir.

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Hymn: “I Love Thee My Ford.”

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The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”

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Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson’s sermons.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

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22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?”.

Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

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Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

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Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist.

Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

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The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.”
The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.

It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.

Don’t forget your husbands.

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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.

Music will follow.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.

Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference:

“The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.”

 

 

 

Have you had similar experiences? Send them along. Let the world know what is happening before it is too late.