“I Think” Said The Sweet Potato, “Therefore I Yam”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

The clue is in the title.

We’re playing with words again.

Yes, it’s pun day.

Enjoy!

.

rofl

.

I had no idea there were so many different types of sandpaper.

Luckily the guy in the shop gave me a rough guide.

sandpaper

.

.

My grandfather tried to start his own company building airplanes.

But he couldn’t get it off the ground.

airplane

.

.

I’ve just started time travelling with an old friend of mine.

We go back a long way.

time-travel-institute

.

.

I used to have a job drilling for oil.

It was boring.

oil rig

.

.

I had to start singing when I realized I didn’t have

enough money to get into the public toilets.

I was busking for a piss.

busker

.

.

Every summer, my dad would take me to the beach,

put me in a chest and bury me in the sand.

Treasured memories.

boy with treasure map

.

.

I’m having difficulty creating saline water.

I can’t work out if salt is part of the problem or part of the solution.

eureka-lab-cartoon

.

.

I only got it two weeks and already my

Chinese sound system is broken.

So stereotypical.

sound system

.

.

You know you’re in red neck territory when the

girls think Timberland is a theme park for lumberjacks.

wacky-races-06

.

.

You know what seems odd to me?

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

Numbers-5-17-11-color

.

.

I heard that Rapunzel used to be a real party animal.

She was always letting her hair down.

rapunzel__rapunzel__let_down_your_hair__by_miamidoll-d59m7pi

.

.

After a hard day at work I thought it would be funny

to give my boss a big pat on the back.

That was my last day working on his farm.

cartoon-cow-pat-fly-buffet

.

.

As I sat down to dinner with Gaius Marius, Julius Caesar

and my wife, she rolled her eyes and said

“No, I said I wanted more ROMANCE in our relationship”.

Romans at dinner

.

.

I drink so much my liver is more like a dier.

Most Funny Drunk Animals (5)

.

.

Monk: “What porn is acceptable?”

Archbishop: “Nun.”

catholiccartoonblog-pope-abuse-scandal-press-kick-me

.

.

The banker said he could offer me a credit card with no interest.

I said, “Then why are you doing it?”

credit card cartoon2

.

.

I got sacked from NASA for falling asleep on the rocket.

It completely ruined the salad at their summer barbecue.

rocket-salad-denna-jones-flickr

.

.

Once on vacation my friend fell over a pyramid and hurt his mouth.

Egypt his tooth.

pyramids-of-egypt-cartoonpyramids-by-alexei-talimonov-media-culture-cartoon-toonpool-vrthbium

.

.

The duck said to the bartender,

‘put it on my bill.’

looney-tunes-520-2

.

.

I was in a Chinese restaurant last night and I asked

the waiter if there were any Chinese Jews.

He walked off then came back a while later and said,

“No we only have apple juice, lemon juice or orange juice.”

chinese restaurant

.

==================================

.

I’m Beginning To Feel I’m Bean Stalked!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, it’s pun day, the day we all love  –  well most of us do anyway.

Enjoy this latest selection!

.

.

When does a cow make the most noise?

When she’s feeling moooooody!

moody-cow_design

.

.

I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with

a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides.

I picked it up and threw it.

It flew for more than 300 yards.

I’m sure that must have been a record.

vinyl-record

.

.

There was a ghost at the hotel,

so they called for an inn spectre.

ghost hotel

.

.

Me and my friends are in a band called Duvet.

We’re a cover band.

Cartoon_Rock_Band

.

.

Messing with your computer’s memory chip

can have lasting RAMifications

memory chip ram

.

.

My girlfriend got sacked from work and then lost her appeal.

I only found her appealing because she had a well paid job.

trump-youre-fired

.

.

 

This one is just messed up.

messed up

.

.

I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it’s 15p.

I’ve adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

balloon seller cartoon

.

.

A picture may be worth a thousand words,

but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

a_picture_is_worth_1000_words

.

.

I lost my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about this.

Mood-Chart-Color

.

.

I beat my wife up this morning.

She got up at 7.30, I was up at 7.

sleeping_wife

.

.

Why did I divide sin by tan?

Just cos.

sin divided by tan

.

.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

wedding cartoon

.

.

I was recently asked about my views on euthanasia.

I said they all look the same to me.

Youth-in-Asia

.

.

Nostalgia.

It’s not what it used to be.

nostalgia

.

.

I just received an envelope marked – Photographs Do Not Bend.

The Mailman has, however, proven that they do.

Photos Do Not Bend

.

.

I fell on my arm and had to have an operation on my funny bone.

I was in stitches for two weeks.

stitches

.

.

I’ve just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.

Although what he wants with an ex box I’ll never know.

cardboard box flat

.

.

A man goes home to his wife and shows her his

latest tattoo of a spreadsheet on his chest.

“You’ve really Excelled yourself this time!” she says.

tattoo-non-vat-spreadsheet

.

.

When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses

do they have a mid-wife crisis?

Midwife-Crisis

.

===================================

.