I Decide Which Beer To Drink On A Case By Case Basis!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What other way can you sample beer?

While you are thinking about that here are a few more samples of word plays, otherwise knows as puns.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I photographed myself stealing from

the DIY store earlier today.

I took some shelfies.

shelves

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My friend Dave has drunk many weird

and wonderful things in his time.

I asked him if he’d ever drunk cologne.

“No,” he replied. “Always with friends.”

Armani_Cologne_for_men

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I don’t know why people feel the need to travel

around the world to “find themselves”;

I found myself years ago.

Turns out I was right under my nose.

nose

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I’ve recently been a stunt man in a couple of movies.

Nothing major, just a couple of small rolls.

Will-Dean-stunt-man-006

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I bought a chair at the furniture store

from a new range based on Thai furniture.

It’s called a ‘Ladyboy’.

La-Z-Boy

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Have you visited www. conjunctivitis. com?

It’s a site for sore eyes

sore eyes

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My attempts at making a ham soup are always ad hoc.

cartoon-ham-8

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With these terrible storms, I’ve been trying to think

of a way of stopping the water entering my property.

Can’t come up with anything though.

Damn!

sandbags dam

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Dijon vu

dijon vu mustard

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My sister fell in love with an arsonist.

She carried a torch for him for months.

They eventually split up, after a blazing row.

lit match

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The new strip bar in my town doesn’t let Jews in.

It’s a gentile man’s club.

Strip-Bar-sign

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I took a ‘Mickey Mouse’ degree and now

I’m head of animation at Disney Studios.

Mickey_Mouse

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Paddy’s in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him.

“Did you find the shampoo?”

“Oi did,” Paddy says,

“But it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine.”

dry hair shampoo

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One of the Sisters at the convent was kidnapped the other day.

Police blamed the lack of security at the premises.

The local newspaper summed it up with the headline…

“No ‘fence.  Nun taken.”

SISTER

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I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery.

I’ve had it right up to here with them.

blank page

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Two!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time today for another selection of those classified ads we all love to read. Pick your favorite or just enjoy them all. No doubt a lot of hard work was put into getting them so perfect for publication, which just goes to show that it takes a little bfain power as well as effort to get the desired result.

Enjoy!

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classified ad 00

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classified ad 01

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classified ad 02

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classified ad 03

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classified ad 04

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classified ad 05

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classified ad 06

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classified ad 07

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classified ad 08

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classified ad 09

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classified ad 10

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classified ad 11

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classified ad 12

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classified ad 12a

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.classified ad 16

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classified ad 17

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classified ad 18

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classified ad 15

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