“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Hi, sorry to disappoint if you thought this post was going to be a discussion on reincarnation. Well I suppose it might once have been, but today it has come back as another selection of puns and word plays. Enjoy!
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I went for a depression test.
It came back negative.
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Its pathetic to be high,
highpathetically speaking.
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It’s constipation that puts the toil into toilets.
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I asked my girlfriend to marry me at a football match.
She said, “No, I’d prefer a church.”
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All the good puns about the periodic table argon.
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Do you believe all that Ancient Greek stuff about Paris and Helen
and the face that launched a thousand ships?
Yes, of course I do, it’s a Troy story.
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Paddy goes into Macy’s department store and asks the assistant,
“Excuse me sir, but do you sell potato clocks?”
The assistant looks at him and says,
“Are you trying to be funny?
We sell cuckoo clocks, carriage clocks, grandfather clocks, alarm clocks
… what the heck is a potato clock?”
And Paddy says,
“I don’t know, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow,
and the wife said ‘You’d better get a potato clock.'”
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I’ve got an inferiority complex,
but it’s not a very good one.
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I bought a new dog yesterday.
I’ve named him Rolex
…….he’s a watchdog
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen.
It said, ‘Parking Fine.’
So that was nice.
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What do Mexicans put under their carpets?
Underlay, underlay!
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Why do mice have small balls?
Not that many of them know how to dance!
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My mate Sid was a victim of ID theft.
He’s just called S now.
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I bought a book when I was in China last year, called “How To Woo”.
I thought it might help me with my seduction techniques.
Turns out it was volume 2 of the Chinese phone book.
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I’ve had amnesia as long as I can remember.
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I can drive a woman wild with my tongue.
It’s pretty easy.
All you do is say,
“Have you put on weight?”
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And finally,
in the interests of clarification because of all the speculation currently on the media,
the real reason for the timing of the Pope’s resignation can now be revealed,
along with probably one of the worst jokes in the history of the papacy,
the Pope will resign at the end of February and not wait until after Easter,
because he doesn’t like eggs, Benedict!
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fasab 