Back To Normal Quiz

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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After a couple of festive mega quizzes it’s back to normal this week with a standard sized offering to test your knowledge.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

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quiz 06

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Q.  1:  What was Walt Disney’s Middle name?

           a) Ewart   b) Elias   c) Elliot    d) Ernest

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Q.  2:  Which was the first state in America to pass a law which required vehicle occupants to wear seat belts, and what year did that law that come into effect? (A point for each part.)

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Q.  3:  In which year did seat belts become compulsory in Great Britain?

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Q.  4:  In Germany what is a ‘kaufhaus’?

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Q.  5:  Which country has the longest land border with Russia?

           a) Mongolia        b) Kazakhstan        c) China

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Q.  6:  ‘Hogmanay’ is another name for which day of the year?

            a) New Year’s Day        b) New Year’s Eve        c) Christmas Day

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Q.  7:  Camp David, the country retreat of US Presidents, is in which state?

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Q.  8:  The name of which Mexican snack food literally means ‘little cheese thing’?

           a) quesadilla        b) burrito        c) enchilada

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Q.  9:  Absolute government by one person called what?

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Q. 10:  The Egyptian god Anubis had the head of what animal?

            a) Jackal        b) Lion        c) Crocodile

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Q. 11:  What was the first fully computer-generated feature length movie made by Pixar?

            a) Monsters Inc        b) A Bug’s Life        c) Toy Story

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Q. 12:  Which Canadian city hosts the ‘Just For Laughs’ comedy festival every July?

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Q. 13:  Who was the Roman equivalent of the Greek god Zeus?

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Q. 14:  The US TV series ‘The Office’ was set in which Pennsylvanian city?

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Q. 15:  What is measured on the Rankine scale?

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Q. 16:  Who composed the opera ‘Cosi fan tutte’?

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Q. 17:  What is the profession of Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day’?

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Q. 18:  ‘Mariculture’ is the cultivation of the animals and plants of which environment?

            a) Desert        b) Forest        c) Sea

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Q. 19:  Writers from which country have won the Nobel Prize for Literature most often?

            a) America        b) Sweden        c) France        d) England

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Q. 20:  What car is the prize possession of Clint Eastwood’s movie character ‘Walt Kowalski’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What was Walt Disney’s Middle name?

           a) Ewart   b) Elias   c) Elliot    d) Ernest

A.  1:  b) Elias.

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Q.  2:  Which was the first state in America to pass a law which required vehicle occupants to wear seat belts, and what year did that law that come into effect? (A point for each part.)

A.  2:  New York in 1984 (December 1 to be precise).

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Q.  3:  In which year did seat belts become compulsory in Great Britain?

A.  3:  1983.

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Q.  4:  In Germany what is a ‘kaufhaus’?

A.  4:  A department store.

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Q.  5:  Which country has the longest land border with Russia?

           a) Mongolia        b) Kazakhstan        c) China

A.  5:  b) Kazakhstan.

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Q.  6:  ‘Hogmanay’ is another name for which day of the year?

            a) New Year’s Day        b) New Year’s Eve        c) Christmas Day

A.  6:  Hogmanay is celebrated on b) New Year’s Eve.

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Q.  7:  Camp David, the country retreat of US Presidents, is in which state?

A.  7:  Maryland.

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Q.  8:  The name of which Mexican snack food literally means ‘little cheese thing’?

           a) quesadilla        b) burrito        c) enchilada

A.  8:  a) quesadilla.

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Q.  9:  Absolute government by one person called what?

A.  9:  Autocracy.

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Q. 10:  The Egyptian god Anubis had the head of what animal?

            a) Jackal        b) Lion        c) Crocodile

A. 10:  a) Jackal.

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Q. 11:  What was the first fully computer-generated feature length movie made by Pixar?

            a) Monsters Inc        b) A Bug’s Life        c) Toy Story

A. 11:  c) Toy Story.

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Q. 12:  Which Canadian city hosts the ‘Just For Laughs’ comedy festival every July?

A. 12:  Montreal.

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Q. 13:  Who was the Roman equivalent of the Greek god Zeus?

A. 13:  Jupiter.

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Q. 14:  The US TV series ‘The Office’ was set in which Pennsylvanian city?

A. 14:  Scranton.

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Q. 15:  What is measured on the Rankine scale?

A. 15:  The Rankine scale measures temperature.

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Q. 16:  Who composed the opera ‘Cosi fan tutte’?

A. 16:  Mozart.

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Q. 17:  What is the profession of Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day’?

A. 17:  He plays the part of a TV weatherman.

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Q. 18:  ‘Mariculture’ is the cultivation of the animals and plants of which environment?

            a) Desert        b) Forest        c) Sea

A. 18:  c) Sea.

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Q. 19:  Writers from which country have won the Nobel Prize for Literature most often?

            a) America        b) Sweden        c) France        d) England

A. 19:  c) France.

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Q. 20:  What car is the prize possession of Clint Eastwood’s movie character ‘Walt Kowalski’?

A. 20:  Gran Torino

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This week’s Quiz. Are You Ready?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, time for this week’s quiz.

I hope you are ready, although I have included a lot of multiple choice questions this time so it may be a little easier – but only if you choose the right answer!

As always the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below if you get stuck – but NO cheating please.

Enjoy, and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1: Which of these spoons is the largest?

            a) dessertspoon     b) tablespoon    c) teaspoon

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Q.  2:  In what movie does Julia Roberts play a character pretending to be the actress Julia Roberts?

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Q.  3:  In 2004, which country became the first in Europe to impose a total ban on smoking in all workplaces?

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Q.  4:  What was the occupation of Alfred Southwick, whose 1881 idea led to the invention of the electric chair?

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Q.  5:  In 1999, which country became the last in the world to grant its citizens access to television?

            a) Bhutan      b) Brunei      c) Bahrain      d) China

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Q.  6:  What card game has a name that also means ‘a short sleep’?

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Q.  7:  A ‘Topping Out’ ceremony marks the completion of what?

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Q.  8:  Which of these animals is NOT a crustacean?

            a) Crab      b) Oyster      c) Lobster

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Q.  9:  In the film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, James Bond travels underwater in what make of car?

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology what was Charybdis?

            a) A ‘Gate’        b) A ‘Kingdom’       c) A ‘God’       d) A ‘Whirlpool’

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Q. 11:  In banking the term ‘SWIFT’ is used in wire transfers, but what do the letters ‘S W I F T’ stand for?

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Q. 12:  Famous for cotton, in what country are the Sea Islands?

            a) Australia        b) India        c) United States        d) Columbia

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Q. 13:  Which of these animals feature in the Chinese astrological calendar?

            a) Elk      b) Ox       c) Yak

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Q. 14:  What is former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger supposed to have called “the ultimate aphrodisiac”?

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Q. 15:  In 1352, Tommaso da Modena painted what is believed to be the first portrait of someone wearing what?

            a) dentures         b) spectacles         c) wooden leg

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Q. 16:  In the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ Matt Damon plays a character with a special ability for what subject?

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Q. 17:  The British 7th Armoured Division got which nickname during their African campaign in WWII?

            a) jungle tigers      b) desert rats       c) mountain foxes

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Q. 18:  In the 2012 Summer Olympic games competitors took part in how many sports?

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Q. 19:  Martin Landau won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for playing which horror movie star in the movie ‘Ed Wood’?

            a) Bela Lugosi     b) Lon Chaney, Jr.     C) Boris Karloff

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Q. 20:  Which female singer/songwriter wants to, according to the title of one of her singles, ‘Soak Up The Sun’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1: Which of these spoons is the largest?

            a) dessertspoon     b) tablespoon    c) teaspoon

A.  1:  b) tablespoon.

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Q.  2:  In what movie does Julia Roberts play a character pretending to be the actress Julia Roberts?

A.  2:  Ocean’s Twelve.

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Q.  3:  In 2004, which country became the first in Europe to impose a total ban on smoking in all workplaces?

A.  3:  Ireland.

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Q.  4:  What was the occupation of Alfred Southwick, whose 1881 idea led to the invention of the electric chair?

A.  4:  Dentist.

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Q.  5:  In 1999, which country became the last in the world to grant its citizens access to television?

            a) Bhutan      b) Brunei      c) Bahrain      d) China

A.  5:  a) Bhutan. 

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Q.  6:  What card game has a name that also means ‘a short sleep’?

A.  6:  Nap.

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Q.  7:  A ‘Topping Out’ ceremony marks the completion of what?

A.  7:  A building.

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Q.  8:  Which of these animals is NOT a crustacean?

            a) Crab      b) Oyster      c) Lobster

A.  8:  b) Oyster

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Q.  9:  In the film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, James Bond travels underwater in what make of car?

A.  9:  Lotus Esprit.

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology what was Charybdis?

            a) A ‘Gate’        b) A ‘Kingdom’       c) A ‘God’       d) A ‘Whirlpool’

A. 10:  d) A Whirlpool

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Q. 11:  In banking the term ‘SWIFT’ is used in wire transfers, but what do the letters ‘S W I F T’ stand for?

A. 11:  Society of Worldwide Interbank Financial Communication.

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Q. 12:  Famous for cotton, in what country are the Sea Islands?

            a) Australia        b) India        c) United States        d) Columbia

A. 12:  c) United States.

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Q. 13:  Which of these animals feature in the Chinese astrological calendar?

            a) Elk      b) Ox       c) Yak

A. 13:  b) Ox

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Q. 14:  What is former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger supposed to have called “the ultimate aphrodisiac”?

A. 14:  Power.

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Q. 15:  In 1352, Tommaso da Modena painted what is believed to be the first portrait of someone wearing what?

            a) dentures         b) spectacles         c) wooden leg

A. 15:  b) spectacles.

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Q. 16:  In the movie ‘Good Will Hunting’ Matt Damon plays a character with a special ability for what subject?

A. 16:  Mathematics.

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Q. 17:  The British 7th Armoured Division got which nickname during their African campaign in WWII?

            a) jungle tigers      b) desert rats       c) mountain foxes

A. 17:  b) desert rats.

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Q. 18:  In the 2012 Summer Olympic games, competitors took part in how many sports?

A. 18:  26.

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Q. 19:  Martin Landau won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for playing which horror movie star in the movie ‘Ed Wood’?

            a) Bela Lugosi     b) Lon Chaney, Jr.     C) Boris Karloff

A. 19:  a) Bela Lugosi.

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Q. 20:  Which female singer/songwriter wants to, according to the title of one of her singles, ‘Soak Up The Sun’?

A. 20:  Sheryl Crowe.

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People Who Use Euphemisms Really Get On My You Know Whats!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day!

Twenty more examples of word play to make you smile or groan, or maybe even both.

Enjoy!

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rofl

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No matter how hard I try, I simply can’t figure out

what’s the opposite of ironing.

It’s depressing.

ironing

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What’s the difference between mountains and hills?

Mountains tend to get high, but hills are less inclined

mountains and hills

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After criticizing yet another outfit, my wife said she

was going to leave me due to my poor dress sense.

“Please baby” I pleaded. “I can change.”

poor dress sense

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Doctor Who started working for our road repair company today,

his first job was to fill in potholes.

“Tardis”, I told him.

Dr Who's tardis

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Pepperami..

What Sgt Pepper served in.

peperami1

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Did you hear about the guy who was so stupid

that when they gave him enough rope,

he shot himself.

stupid

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The blow hard bloke next door says his car is more powerful than mine

and that he would easily beat me in a race.

He’s all torque.

CARS 2

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I’ve been caught up in a race row.

I don’t care what he says, I won fair and square.

race

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People often tell me I have very little patience.

But that’s probably because I’m a doctor specializing in dwarfism.

Seven Dwarfs

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A friend of mine accused me of plagiarism.

I didn’t know what that meant, but I took his word.

cartoon_plagiarism_1836615

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I saw that the latest remake of the Dukes of Hazzard includes

a scene where Bo and Luke install a talking car alarm.

I’m not sure that’s going to go down well,

General Lee speaking.

General_Lee__Dukes_of_Hazzard_by_xxatwaxx

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The wife used to work on a maternity ward.

It was labor-intensive.

Pregnancy-Cartoon

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My new neighbor works in a board game factory.

His job is to take small wooden cubes and engrave them.

I don’t like him…

He’s dot a dice person.

dice

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I stopped at a hotel last night called

“The good, the bad, and the ugly.”

It was a Best Western.

best-western-logo3

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I once met a really stupid bloke on a Greek island.

He was a Cretan.

Souda Bay Crete

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At an awards dinner last night,

I just finished enjoying some middle eastern dip

when I was called up to accept my award.

It was post hummus.

10oz-classic-hummus

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A few weeks ago, 1,400 people were killed in Syria by a chemical attack.

It almost became Obama’s road to Degasmasks.

gas masks

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I can never wear my lucky golf socks again.

I got a hole in one.

sock-holes

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And since we are almost at the end of today’s post,

I have to announce that unfortunately tonight’s

Self Harmers Anonymous group

has been cancelled due to staff cuts.

william-steig-harry-take-it-from-me-you-re-doing-yourself-more-harm-than-good-new-yorker-cartoon

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An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant

and asked “Is there any chicken on the menu?”

I replied “No black Betty, it’s ham or lamb.”

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Feeling Smart? Good, Coz It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another random selection of questions in today’s quiz.

This has become quite a long running feature on the fasab blog. I enjoy putting them together, I hope you all continue to enjoy trying them out.

As always you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating! 

Enjoy.

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puzzle

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Q.  1:  What is Bugs Bunny’s catchphrase?

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Q.  2:  Where in the USA is the Sonoma wine growing region?

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Q.  3:  Which sad word stems from the combined Greek words for goat and song?

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Q.  4:  In ‘Star Trek’, from which planet did Spock’s mother come?

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Q.  5:  Which animal is not a Chinese year? 

    a. Ox    b. Crow    c. Hare    d. Goat

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Q.  6:  Who is the only American President to have served non-consecutive terms in office?

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Q.  7:  Thomas Selfridge was the first fatality in a plane crash. Who was the pilot?

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Q.  8:  In which American town or city was the ‘Little House On The Prairie’ TV series set?

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Q.  9:  If you saw ‘canard’ on a French Menu, what type of meat would be on offer?

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Q. 10:  Which historical character did Errol Flynn play in the 1941 movie ‘They Died With Their Boots On’?

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Q. 11:  Whose face is said to have launched a thousand ships?

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Q. 12:  Who directed ‘Jaws’, ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ and ‘ET’?

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Q. 13:  What are the three styles of port? (a point for each)

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Q. 14:  Which country has special tea houses and is famous for it’s elaborate tea ceremonies?

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Q. 15:  Jack Bauer and Aaron Pierce are the only two characters that have appeared in seven seasons of the TV series ‘24’. What does Aaron Pierce do for a living?

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Q. 16:  Alan Shepard was the first man to do what?

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Q. 17:  Plus or minus 10, what percentage of the life forms on earth live in the oceans and seas?

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Q. 18:  The car in the ‘Knightrider’ series was called ‘KITT’. What does this acronym stand for?

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Q. 19:  Who sucked apple sauce to become the first American to eat in space?

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Q. 20:  The Academy Award winning song ‘When You Wish Upon A Star’ was written for which classic 1940 movie?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is Bugs Bunny’s catchphrase?

A.  1:  ‘Whats Up Doc?’

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Q.  2:  Where in the USA is the Sonoma wine growing region?

A.  2:  California

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Q.  3:  Which sad word stems from the combined Greek words for goat and song?

A.  3:  Tragedy

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Q.  4:  In ‘Star Trek’, from which planet did Spock’s mother come?

A.  4:  Earth

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Q.  5:  Which animal is not a Chinese year? 

    a. Ox    b. Crow    c. Hare    d. Goat

A.  5:  b. Crow

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Q.  6:  Who is the only American President to have served non-consecutive terms in office?

A.  6:  Grover Cleveland

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Q.  7:  Thomas Selfridge was the first fatality in a plane crash. Who was the pilot?

A.  7:  Orville Wright

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Q.  8:  In which American town or city was the ‘Little House On The Prairie’ TV series set?

A.  8:  Walnut Grove

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Q.  9:  If you saw ‘canard’ on a French Menu, what type of meat would be on offer?

A.  9:  Duck

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Q. 10:  Which historical character did Errol Flynn play in the 1941 movie ‘They Died With Their Boots On’?

A. 10:  General Custer

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Q. 11:  Whose face is said to have launched a thousand ships?

A. 11:  Helen of Troy

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Q. 12:  Who directed ‘Jaws’, ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ and ‘ET’?

A. 12:  Steven Spielberg

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Q. 13:  What are the three styles of port? (a point for each)

A. 13:  Ruby, tawny and vintage

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Q. 14:  Which country has special tea houses and is famous for it’s elaborate tea ceremonies?

A. 14:  Japan

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Q. 15:  Jack Bauer and Aaron Pierce are the only two characters that have appeared in seven seasons of the TV series ‘24’. What does Aaron Pierce do for a living?

A. 15:  Secret Service agent

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Q. 16:  Alan Shepard was the first man to do what?

A. 16:  Hit a golf ball on the moon

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Q. 17:  Plus or minus 10, what percentage of the life forms on earth live in the oceans and seas?

A. 17:  Circa 90%

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Q. 18:  The car in the ‘Knightrider’ series was called ‘KITT’. What does this acronym stand for?

A. 18:  Knight Industries Two Thousand

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Q. 19:  Who sucked apple sauce to become the first American to eat in space?

A. 19:  John Glenn

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Q. 20:  The Academy Award winning song ‘When You Wish Upon A Star’ was written for which classic 1940 movie?

A. 20:  Pinocchio

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You Can’t Just Be Cremated – You Have To Urn It!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Like it says in the title, nothing is free these days.

Except for puns that is.

You just can’t put a price on that level of enjoyment!

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Guy #1:  “I’m stuck with one word on this crossword,

the clue is a 10 letter word, similar to being silly”

Guy #2:  “Oh, that’s ridiculous”

Guy #1:  “I know, I’ve been stuck on it for hours”.

pun crossword_puzzle

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I’ve put in so many shifts where I work recently

that they’ve decided to fire me.

Making keyboards isn’t as easy as it looks.

pun shift_key

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My sister had a baby boy and

she’s gonna name him Mark, but with a “C”.

Who ever heard of someone called “Cark”?

pun cartoon_baby

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The manager of the toy shop I work at phoned me and said:

“Steve, our stock records show that we’re missing a space hopper.

I need you to find it for me.”

I said, “Don’t worry boss, I’m on it.”

pun space-hopper

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Google Chrome

All you’ll get is a description of a metal.

pun google-chrome-metal-text-effect

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The head teacher at my school called me in to his office today.

He said, “I’ve just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?”

I replied, “No, I’m irresponsible. That’s why I threw it.”

pun Boy_Broken_Window

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Woke up this morning and my joints were really stiff.

I’ve only got myself to blame: I rolled them far too thick.

pun joints

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For my next trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap.

Drum roll, please.

pun drum roll

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I bought a tree at the garden center that was far too big to get in the car,

so we had to cut the top off.

I didn’t really mind though,

I’ve always wanted a convertible.

pun car tree

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My girlfriend said it would be nice if I could maintain an erection.

So I’ve volunteered to clean bird crap off the Statue of Liberty.

pun statue of liberty

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I saw a busker with no arms today singing so badly

I offered him five bucks to stop.

But that was just another note he couldn’t hold.

pun five_dollar_bill

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I do not have an OCD over tidiness.

I just wanted to clear that up.

pun ocd

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My Korean friend was going to cook his wife a surprise birthday dinner.

But someone let the cat out of the bag.

pun cat out of the bag

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I’m planning a camping holiday but, I have to say,

I’m far from impressed with my travel insurance.

It turns out if someone steals my tent in the night,

I’ll no longer be covered.

pun stolen Tent

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What are long, hard and delicious?

Adjectives.

pun adjectives

.

.

I find nothing is quite so annoying as having someone

carry on talking while you’re trying to interrupt.

pun interrupt

.

.

Apparently 80% of people who have cosmetic surgery

are disappointed by the results.

Which is a bit odd,

because most of them look pleasantly surprised.

pun facelift

.

.

I was waiting in line for a club last night

and the guy at the door was checking IDs.

He was taking ages.

pun standing in line

.

.

Is anyone else tired,

or is it just M.E.?

pun myalgic encephalomyelitis

.

.

My friend’s new girlfriend has been around the block a few times…

Like most women, she’s crap at parking.

.

.

=====================================

.

Try Braking, It Gives Your Driving A Bit Of 00mph.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

It’s pun day.

The gift that just keeps on giving.

Try out this latest selection of word play gems.

Enjoy!

.

.

When she lost her job in a toothpaste factory

for dropping the toothpaste tubes,

the girl was completely crestfallen.

Crest_toothpaste

.

.

The first meteorologists who studied fog were mistified.

fog-06

.

.

This couple went on a sea cruise to sea if they could save their marriage,

but they soon drifted apart!

cruise ship

.

.

The guy always cheated at golf,

he didn’t play the fairway.

golf cheat cartoon

.

.

I was telling a friend last night

that I made $1,000 by selling manure.

He said, “That’s gross.”

I said, “No, that’s net.”

manure happens

.

.

What do you get if you eat a Blackberry?

A Bluetooth.

blackberry

.

.

My sex life is unbelievable.

Whenever I tell people I have a sex life,

they don’t believe me.

sex life

.

.

I can’t understand why my new automatic

air freshener doesn’t work even though

I’ve just put brand new batteries in it.

It just doesn’t make scents.

Automatic-Air-Freshener

.

.

If you crossed a fortune teller with a prostitute

would you get your whoroscope!

whoroscope

.

.

Tom said to his friend, “I think we should feed my wife herbicide.”

The friend said, “weed killer?”

“My point exactly,” Tom replied.

weedkiller

.

.

I was throwing rice at an Indian wedding

and accidentally started a pilau fight.

pilau rice

.

.

When I worked in a building supplies store,

one day this guy came in shouting and swearing

about needing something to fill a big hole in his wall.

Needless to say, I showed him the door.

new door

.

.

17 days until I stop using aerosol deodorants.

Roll on!

roll on deodorant

.

.

When I took my car in for a service

the guy at the shop said it would soon

need a new pair of shock absorbers.

He didn’t say when though

– the suspension’s killing me.

shock absorbers

.

.

As a grown man I feel awkward admitting that I still play with my train set,

so I hide it under the duvet.

No one will find it now, I’ve covered my tracks.

train set

.

.

I was having dinner with Mr T and he said,

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!”

I said, “How else would I talk? And I ain’t no fool.”

MrT

.

.

I was surprised when my psychic friend complimented

me on the way I had cooked his steak.

“Well done” is rare from a medium.

psychic dinners

.

.

I travel the land,

Asking rides from kind strangers:

I’m a hitchhaiku.

haiku

.

.

An old lady at the park said to me today,

“I see your dog’s fetching balls.”

I said, “I know, but, at your age,

you shouldn’t really be looking.”

dog fetching ball

.

.

After feeling a little depressed lately,

so I decided to treat myself to the new Jay-Z endorsed back-scratcher.

Now I’ve got 99 problems but an itch ain’t one.

.

.

=================================

.

More Facts – And That’s A Fact!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Welcome to another selection of random facts and the chance to prepare yourself for questions that you may never be asked.

Enjoy.

.

did you know4

.

While in Alcatraz, Al Capone was inmate 85.

Alcatraz

.

.

The airport scene at the end of classic movie “Casablanca”

was produced using a cardboard model of a plane

and little people actors in the background!!

casablanca5

.

.

Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes.

donkey-kick

.

.

The White House has 32 bathrooms,

and 6 levels to accommodate all the people

who live in, work in, and visit the White House.

There are also 412 doors, 147 windows,

28 fireplaces, 7 staircases, and 3 elevators.

white house

.

.

Hummingbirds are the only animals that can fly backwards.

hummingbird

.

.

In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down

but only 6 people were injured.

Great Fire Of London

.

.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

woman eye

.

.

Each year there is one ton of cement poured

for each man woman and child in the world.

pouring concrete

.

.

The most common name in Italy is Mario Rossi.

Mario Rossi

.

.

Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!

fingernails

.

.

Rugby, North Dakota is the geographical center of North America.

Rugby, North Dakota

.

.

Butte County, South Dakota is the geographical center of the U.S.

Geographic-Center-of-the-US-Speafish-SD

.

.

No matter where you stand in Michigan,

you are never more than 85 miles from a Great Lake.

michigan map

.

.

The number “four” is considered unlucky in Japan

because it is pronounced the same as “death”.

4

.

.

Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance

ever nominated for an Oscar with “Midnight Cowboy.”

Her entire role lasted only six minutes.

Sylvia-Miles

.

.

You’re more likely to get stung by a bee

on a windy day than in any other weather.

CARTOON_Bee-full

.

.

The world’s deepest hole is the Sakhali I oil well in Russia

(part owned by Exxon Mobil) which is 12.345 Km. deep (7.67 miles).

Previously to this the Al Shaheen oil well (12.29km or 7.64 miles)

dug in Qatar was the deepest oil well.

kola2

.

.

Spain leads the world in cork production

wine-cork

.

.

A jail in Brazil allows its inmates to pedal exercise bikes

to power lights in a nearby town in exchange for reduced sentences.

bike charger

.

.

The Boston University Bridge

(on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts)

is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train

driving under a car driving under an airplane.

Boston University Bridge

.

==================================

.

CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Twenty-Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

And they said it wouldn’t last.

Yes we are at part twenty-three of the classified ad disasters and the stupidity shows no sign of abating – thank goodness.

Here’s the latest batch.

Enjoy.

.

.

classad_yourkidswillloveCoorslight

.

.

classad_videoprojectoronitsass

.

.

classad_walmartdressing

.

.

classad_wecatteranyoccasion

.

.

classad_weddingannouncement

.

.

classad_wholecats

.

.

classad_whyItaliansprefertoeatathome

.

.

classad_withoutkonwlageofbasicenglish

.

.

np_carnotforsale

.

.

np_circumcismsummercut

.

.

classad_viginabakedham

.

.

and finally, at last a sport I could do really well,

.

.

classad_whitewaterfarting

.

.

=========================================

.

Blunt Knives Are Pointless

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Blunt knives may be pointless, but let’s hope these puns aren’t.

Here we go with another selection of the word play bad jokes.

Enjoy.

.

.

He drove his expensive car into a tree

and found out how the Mercedes bends.

merc crash

.

.

When two egotists meet,

it’s an I for an I.

egotists

.

.

I don’t know why the chicken did it

but crossing the road was poultry in motion.

why did the chicken cross the road

.

.

I was walking down the street today when this hippie jumped

out of nowhere and shoved a joss stick in my face.

I was incensed!

Incense_Sticks

.

.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a history teacher

but when I got older I realized there was no future in it.

History teacher

.

.

One of the girls at the local S&M club had a birthday last week.

We had a whip round for her.

sales_and_marketing

.

.

73% of women buy clothes but never wear them.

I’d like to meet those women.

naked_woman_cartoon

.

.

The other week I made a joke about Alzheimer’s live on TV.

You should have seen the envelopes I got.

empty envelope

.

.

I hate germ warfare.

It gets right on my nerves.

germ_warfare

.

.

The President says that terrorism poses a threat to every single person in the USA.

That doesn’t bother me – I got married last week.

wedding-couple-cartoon

.

.

A jumper cable walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

jumper cables

.

.

I used to hunt seals in my youth.
I’m getting a bit old for the club scene now.

Baby  seal

.

.

Old McDonald had a farm.

Sang the cheery repossession man

Foreclosure Notice

.

.

Don’t take life too seriously;

No one gets out alive.

Dont-Take-Life-Too-Seriously

.

======================

.

Even When You Expect The Unexpected You Don’t Expect This!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

The answers no one could script, or expect.

More stupidity gone wild when the intellectually challenged make it on to the game shows.

Enjoy.

.

.

Q: Name something you eat too much of

A: ……….food    

food

.

.

Q: Name a country you’d like to visit if you spent a summer in Europe

A: Paris

Paris en Avril

.

.

Q: Name a word that rhymes with coke

A: ……….float

A: Moke

moke mouse mat

.

.

Q: Name something an Indian chief might use

A: Squaw

squaw

.

.

Q: An animal with really good sight

A: Bat

cartoon_bat_by_macki_17-d52noht

.

.

Q: Name a sport in which two people compete against each other

A: Checkers

checkers

.

.

Q: Name something that’s hard to hold on to when it’s slippery

A: A (censored)

censored

.

.

Q: Name a holiday where men buy last minute gifts for their wife

A: Thanksgiving

thanksgiving_cartoon_turkey_pilgrim_keychain

.

.

Q: How long the average honeymoon lasts

A: 2 months

honeymoon cartoon

.

.

Q: Name something people are careful to step over when they’re walking

A: Spit

bystander effect

.

.

Q: Name something that comes in a traveling size

A: Refrigerator

Carrying-A-Fridge

.

.

Q: Name something of yours you hope doesn’t start making noises

A: Your dog

A: Your children

cartoon-boys-with-mischief-on-their-minds

.

.

Q: An animal that begins with “M”

A: Marsupial

cartoon-happy-kangaroo-with-her-joey-in-her-pouch

.

.

Q: What moos?

A: A car

car moo

.

.

Q: Who starred in The Godfather and is also Robert?

A: Marlon Brando

cartoon godfather

.

=============================

.