Lif Is Too Short.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Lif may be too short but thankfully there’s no shortage of puns.

Here’s the latest selection for you to…

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

I’ve just ended a relationship with a hair stylist.

We just never gelled.

hair stylist cartoon

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Say what you like about deaf people.

But not blind people,

they can still hear you.

deaf

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I went to the inventor of Optrex’s funeral today.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

Optrex

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My wife says the passion has gone out of our relationship.

She really doesn’t know how much I hate her.

love hate

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I used to be a hypochondriac until

I eventually became sick of it.

hypochondriac

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What have Winnie the Pooh and

Atilla the Hun got in common ?…….

the same middle name

Winnie the Pooh

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Wouldn’t it be better if handmade shoes

were for your feet?

handmade shoes

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I’ll be making a movie

about the Greek alphabets.

It’s a Psi Phi film.

Greek alphabet

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What do you call

a quick circumcision.

A rip off.

cartoon circumcision

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According to scientists there is a

link between noise and obesity.

Probably the dinner bell.

come and get it

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Just bought a time machine from Amazon.

Well you have to when they offer

previous day delivery.

time machine

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Finally for today a health warning:

Mixing cannabis with cod liver oil

is bad for your joints.

weed joints

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My Nose Is Itchy, I Wonder Why. Maybe The Facts Will Tell Me.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Itchy or not it’s time for another fact day.

This selection includes music, movies and Mexican general elections.

So hopefully something for everyone.

Enjoy.

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facts 02

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Earth’s seasons are not due to our proximity to the sun,

but rather due to Earth’s 23.4 degree tilt on its axis.

 earth's tilt on axis

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Did you know that in Romania many people believe

that when your nose is feeling itchy,

it means that someone wants to kiss you.

In some other countries the superstition says

that an itchy nose is a sign that

you are going to be angry later.

Take you choice which to believe, or both, or neither.

 itchy nose

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When you are trying to listen to someone in a noisy situation,

use your right ear because it picks up words better,

while your left ear is better at picking up sounds and music.

 listening

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Famous people who served during World War One (WWI)

include the writers A. A. Milne, creator of Winnie the Pooh,

JRR Tolkien, author of Lord of The Rings,

sculptor Henry Moore, and the actor Basil Rathbone.

 

Basil Rathbone WWI
Basil Rathbone WWI

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Although it is commonly said and believed that

lightning doesn’t strike in the same place twice,

the fact is that it can and does.

Lightning tries to find the fastest path to the ground,

and therefore tall buildings, trees, and such are at the

greatest risk because the higher the object,

the more likely it is to be struck.

 lightning striking tree

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The most subscribed channel

on YouTube is ‘Music’.

 YouTube music channel

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In the Mexican general election of 1988,

during the count the government claimed

that the computers had crashed.

Although the early results showed that

Cárdenas was winning comfortably,

when the computers were “repaired,”

his political opponent, Salinas, had supposedly

eked out a narrow victory.

Years later, a former president of Mexico,

Miguel de la Madrid, admitted to the New York Times

that the 1988 general election had been rigged

to make the Institutional Revolutionary Party win,

and that three years after the election,

all ballots were burned in order to

remove all evidence of the fraud.

 Mexican flag

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The techniques used for pyramid

construction developed over time;

later pyramids were not built

the same way as earlier ones.

 techniques used for pyramid construction

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 In the H G Wells novel entitled “The World Set Free”,

written at a time when little was known

about the power of radioactive elements,

he predicted that a city-destroying atomic bomb

would destroy lives in the future.

Years later the atomic bomb was launched

through the Manhattan Project and eventually

dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima,

causing radiation sickness and deaths years after.

 The World Set Free by H G Wells

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In 1929, German surgeon Werner Forssmann

examined the inside of his own heart by

threading a catheter into his arm vein.

This was the first cardiac catheterization,

a now common procedure.

 cardiac catheterization

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The chef was one of the male survivors

from the Titanic disaster,

and his survival is credited to the amount

of liquor he drank right before going underwater,

which kept his body temperature up.

 Titanic chef survivor

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Marijuana is known to increase

appetite and food consumption.

Pigs in Bhutan are fed cannabis to make

them hungrier and consequently fatter.

 Pigs in Bhutan are fed cannabis

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Vodka is the world’s most popular liquor by a huge margin,

with about 5 billion liters consumed every year.

 stolichnaya vodka

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Cocoa trees can live up to 200 years but they only

produce usable cocoa beans for about 25 years.

 Cocoa trees

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In the famous movie Psycho,

Alfred Hitchcock used Bosco chocolate syrup

for blood in the legendary shower scene.

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Time To Unveil The Skeleton In The Closet – It’s Fasab Fact Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Unveiling the skeleton in the closet is just one of today’s fascinating fasab facts.

Many more interesting snippets below as well.

I hope you enjoy.

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facts 04

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Marijuana and beer have more in

common than you would think.

Beer’s hops are in the same family

of flowering plants as cannabis.

Marijuana and beer

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Lewis and Clark were trying to get 40 horses

from an Indian Tribe to cross the Rockies safely.

The negotiations were getting nowhere

until their interpreter found out

she was the Chief’s long lost sister.

The girl, Sacagawea, had been

taken as a slave as a child.

This changed the direction of the talk and

Lewis and Clark’s party got their horses.

Sacagawea with Lewis and Clark

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While Sean Connery was taking

martial arts lessons for a Bond film,

his instructor got angry and broke his wrist.

The instructor was Steven Seagal.

Steven Seagal

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Physicists at the National Autonomous

University of Mexico figured out a way

to make artificial diamonds out of tequila.

Sadly, the synthetic diamonds are too small

to be turned into jewelry, but they can be used

for an array of electronic and industrial purposes.

National Autonomous University of Mexico

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The Giza pyramids are guarded

by the Great Sphinx,

the largest monolith statue in the world.

The face of the Sphinx is generally believed

to represent the face of the Pharaoh Khafra.

Great Sphinx of Giza

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The Titanic is the only ocean liner in history

that has been sunk by an iceberg.

The Titanic

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The polar bear is an excellent swimmer

and often will swim for days.

One bear swam continuously for 9 days

in the frigid Bering Sea for 400 miles (687 km)

to reach ice far from land.

They usually swim at a speed of 10 km/h (6 mph).

polar bear is an excellent swimmer

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Because the heart has its own electrical impulse

it can continue to beat even when separated

from the body, as long has it has a supply of oxygen.

The rest of your body does not do so well

without the heart attached.

heart has its own electrical impulse

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YouTube has signed up thousands of

advertising partners, including titans of the

entertainment industry such as Disney, Univision,

Channel 4, and Channel 5 among many others.

Most of these partners are making six figures a year.

YouTube advertising partners

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The biggest on-pad explosion at Cape Canaveral

happened on March2, 1965,

when the Atlas Centaur 5 exploded,

after a fuel valve closed causing the booster engines

to lose upward thrust two seconds after liftoff

and the rocket fell back on the launch pad.

The explosion created a 200 foot high fireball

and the launch pad remained out of operation

for a year following the incident

Atlas Centaur 5 explosion

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In nineteenth-century England, the periodical

‘The Eclectic Review’ used the idiom

“Skeleton in the closet”

in reference to a family who desperately tried

to keep a son’s illness secret by hiding him

in the closet quite often,

especially when guests visited.

This is how this idiom got its start,

and today we use it to refer to when someone tries

to hide a big secret out of embarrassment and shame.

Skeleton in the closet

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J.J. Thomson won the Nobel in Physics (1906)

when he showed electrons were particles.

His son won it in 1937

for showing that electrons are waves.

J.J. Thomson won the Nobel in Physics 1906

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Because of the silly superstitions

surrounding the number 13,

there is no 13th Avenue in San Francisco,

instead Funston Avenue

is between 12th and 14th Avenues.

However, there is a 13th Street,

which is covered by the Central Skyway

making it one of the darkest and

ugliest streets in San Francisco.

Funston Avenue San Francisco

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The ‘Antquarium’, a special container

for keeping ants as pets,

sold all over the world,

was originally developed by NASA

for the purpose of research of animals in space.

Antquarium

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The average CD can hold 74 minutes’ worth of music.

That unusual length was determined by Sony’s president,

who decided that a single CD should be able to contain

the longest recorded version of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.

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