I’ve Always Found That The Letter ‘N’ Divides Opinion

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There’s no getting away from it, the letter ‘n’ does divide opinion.

And so too does that little word play device called the Pun.

For those who like them and for those who like to hate them here is another selection.

Enjoy or Endure!

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rofl

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Getting a job repairing revolving doors

was a real turning point in my life.

Revolving door overhaul and repair

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I have a friend who is ambidextrous illiterate…

He can’t write anything with both hands.

illiterate

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My wife asked me “Would you say that I was likeable?”

I said “No love, bulls are male. You’re like a cow.”

 

cow

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What is Stephen Hawking’s favourite cream?

sQWERTY.

Stephen Hawking keyboard

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I’ve never asked a rhetorical question.

How cool is that?

RhetoricalQuestionsOnly

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I once got asked to do a sketch of

an old gameshow host dressed up as a Charlies Angel.

I drew Barrymore.

drew Barrymore

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There’s a gang going through our town,

systematically shoplifting clothes in size order…

The police believe they’re still at large.

clothes in size order

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I know a guy who has one eye bigger than the other.

His name is Iain.

forest-whitaker-one eye bigger than the other

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A recent study proved that I shouldn’t try

to add unnecessary rooms to my house.

study-room-design-ideas

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There is a remote tribe

that worships the number Zero.

Is nothing sacred?

number Zero

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What cheese do you use

to disguise horse meat?

Mascarpone.

Mascarpone

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Yesterday, a Lumberjack slipped

and cut into his leg with a chainsaw.

He lost a lot of blood, but although

they managed to stem the flow,

paramedics say he is still not out of the woods yet.

Lumberjacks

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I’m not afraid of flying.

I am, however, afraid of being 35,000 feet

in the air and suddenly “not” flying.

fear-of-flying

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I don’t know what the fascination is with strip clubs.

It’s just the same old thong and dance.

thong and dance

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Elton John has got so fat recently, he is having

to have his trousers specially made for him,

He’s had to say goodbye normal jeans…

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Facts? Fantastic! Here’s A Few More.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, here are a few more fantastic facts to deposit in your knowledge bank.

Very random, but hopefully interesting.

And in case you are wondering, yes, I’m staying clear of St. Louis for obvious reasons.

Enjoy.

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did you know1

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It’s illegal to drink beer out of a bucket

while you’re sitting on a curb in St. Louis!

drink beer out of a bucket

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One ragweed plant can release as many as

one billion grains of pollen!

Solidago balsam ragweed plant

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The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand

likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows!

kea bird

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Skepticisms is the longest word

that alternates hands when typing!

keyboard

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The director of Cannibal Holocaust had to prove in court

that the actors were still alive and didn’t get killed during the movie

cannibal-holocaust-original

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A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle,

a group of geese in the air is a skein!

geese in the air

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Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed

from using products made for right handed people!

left handed people

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There are more than 10 million bricks

in the Empire State Building!

Looking Up at Empire State Building

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If you counted 24 hours a day,

it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

1_trillion

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The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!

Solar_System_3

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Pinocchio is Italian for “pine eye”!

Pinocchio

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The Mint once considered producing

doughnut-shaped coins!

doughnut-shaped coins

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It’s against the law to pawn your dentures in Las Vegas!

false-teeth

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The average American/Canadian

drinks about 600 sodas a year!

sodas

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Bulls are color blind, and therefore will usually charge

at a matador’s waving cape no matter what color it is

— be it red or neon yellow!

 Bulls are color blind

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Perfectly Timed Photos, Part Three

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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More photos for this weekend.

Nothing beats a perfectly taken photo except perhaps a perfectly timed photo.

You will find a selection of the latter variety below.

Enjoy.

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ptp little

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ptp littleman

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ptp lol

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ptp longarm

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ptp longdog

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ptp Monkey_Bites

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Ronnie Brewer

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ptp oi fishface

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ptp ouch

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ptp pefect

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ptp perfectlammas

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precision flying COPYRIGHT RAPHAEL AMAR²

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ptp putindevil

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ptp photo

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Time To Put The Fears Behind Us

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, time to put the fears behind us. This is the final selection of curious and sometimes amusing fears and phobias that affect some people. Irrational but very real to them. Irrational and very silly to the rest of us.

So here we go, ‘T’ thru ‘Z’.

Enjoy.

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scared 4

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Tachophobia ……….fear of speed.

 

Taijin Kyofusho ……….a phobia which occurs most typically in Japan, is the fear of offending others by one’s inappropriate social behavior or appearance

 

Taeniophobia or Taeniophobia ……….fear of tapeworms.

 

Taphephobia Taphophobia ……….fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.

 

Tapinophobia ……….fear of being contagious.

 

Taurophobia ……….fear of bulls.

 

Technophobia ……….fear of technology.

 

Teleophobia ……….fear of 1) definite plans; 2) religious ceremony.

 

Telephonophobia ……….fear of telephones.

 

Teratophobia ……….fear of bearing a deformed child or fear of monsters or deformed people.

 

Testophobia ……….fear of taking tests.

 

Tetanophobia ……….fear of lockjaw, tetanus.

 

Teutophobia ……….fear of German or German things.

 

Textophobia ……….fear of certain fabrics.

 

Thaasophobia ……….fear of sitting.

 

Thalassophobia ……….fear of the sea.

 

Thanatophobia or Thantophobia ……….fear of death or dying.

 

Theatrophobia ……….fear of theatres.

 

Theologicophobia ……….fear of theology.

 

Theophobia ……….fear of gods or religion.

 

Thermophobia ……….fear of heat.

 

Tocophobia ……….fear of pregnancy or childbirth.

 

Tomophobia ……….fear of surgical operations.

 

Tonitrophobia ……….fear of thunder.

 

Topophobia ……….fear of certain places or situations, such as stage fright.

 

Toxiphobia or Toxophobia or Toxicophobia ……….fear of poison or of being accidently poisoned.

 

Traumatophobia ……….fear of injury.

 

Tremophobia ……….fear of trembling.

 

Trichinophobia ……….fear of trichinosis.

 

Trichopathophobia or Trichophobia ……….fear of hair. (Chaetophobia, Hypertrichophobia)

 

Triskaidekaphobia ……….fear of the number 13.

 

Tropophobia ……….fear of moving or making changes.

 

Trypanophobia ……….fear of injections.

 

Tuberculophobia ……….fear of tuberculosis.

 

Turophobia ……….fear of cheese

 

Tyrannophobia ……….fear of tyrants.

 

Uranophobia or Ouranophobia ……….fear of heaven.

 

Urophobia ……….fear of urine or urinating.

 

Vaccinophobia ……….fear of vaccination.

 

Venereophobia ……….fear of catching a venereal disease.

 

Venustraphobia ……….fear of beautiful women.

 

Verbophobia ……….fear of words.

 

Verminophobia ……….fear of germs.

 

Vespertiliophobia ……….fear of bats.

 

Vestiphobia ……….fear of clothing.

 

Virginitiphobia ……….fear of virgins.

 

Virginitiphobia ……….fear of rape.

 

Vitricophobia ……….fear of step-father.

 

Vokephobia ……….fear of returning home.

 

Walloonphobia ……….fear of the Walloons.

 

Wiccaphobia ……….fear of witches and witchcraft.

 

Xanthophobia ……….fear of the color yellow or the word yellow.

 

Xeniaphobia ……….fear of foreign doctors, usually having to do with strong foreign accents making it difficult to understand their English. Also, if travelling in a foreign country, the fear that doctors may have inadequate medical skills.

 

Xenodochiophobia ……….fear of foreign hotels that could include the fear that there won’t be soap, the kind of toilet paper that you like, clean towels, or good maid service.

 

Xenoglossophobia ……….fear of foreign languages.

 

Xenonosocomiophobia ……….fear of foreigners who are pick-pockets.

 

Xenophobia ……….fear of strangers or foreigners.

 

Xerophobia ……….fear of dryness.

 

Xeroxophobia ……….fear of using anything made by Xerox, or fear of office equipment in general.

 

Xylophobia ……….fear of 1) wooden objects; 2) Forests.

 

Xyrophobia ……….fear of razors.

 

Zelophobia ……….fear of jealousy.

 

Zemmiphobia ……….fear of the great mole rat.

 

Zeusophobia ……….fear of God or gods.

 

Zoophobia ……….fear of animals.

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Donkey Hokey

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, I’m not tilting at windmills, not just yet anyhow. And despite the play on words in the title, nor am I referring to Cervantes character Don Quixote. This post actually does concern a donkey, though. In fact animals in general.

It is a little known fact that donkeys kill more people than plane crashes. And at the end of August I read about a small town Texas mayor who was killed in an attack by his own donkey. He was Bill Bohlke and he was Mayor of Hollywood Park in Atascosa County, Texas.

That unfortunate event set me thinking of a number of things.

First I asked myself how the heck you pronounced his surname.

Then I wondered if Mayor Bohlke was a Republican or Democrat and how macabre it would have been if the donkey had done away with his elephant man rival.

And then I thought about the amazing and different ways people find to leave the mortal coil. I bet, like most of us, the last thing Mayor Bohlke thought was that some day he would meet his end from an attack from a randy donkey!

And then I marveled at how so many people, for no logical reason, have a romantic fantasy notion that animals are not inherently dangerous. They are.

And this is true for people who work with them every day and should know better.

For example, when I was growing up I would spend time at my uncle’s farm. He had a herd of one hundred or more dairy cows and every evening when I was there my cousin and myself would be sent out to the fields to bring the cows in for milking.

We had a couple of great little collie dogs to help us, not that much help was needed because the cows had a routine and once they heard us calling for them they made their way to the field gate and up the lane to the milking parlor, glad no doubt that they were about to be relieved of their burden once more.

With them came the bull. A huge brute of an animal and unbelievably strong. But he was docile enough, walked up with his herd of ‘wives’ and while they made their way into the queue for the milking machines he would usually lie down in the hayshed and munch on some of the hay.

As innocent (dumb) kids we would sometimes sit down beside him, even using him as a prop to lean against. He didn’t seem to mind a bit, we thought he was glad of the company perhaps.

Then one day as the herd was being ushered back out to the fields Mr Bull totally out of the blue decided he would like to kill my uncle.

Luckily us kids had our chore done in bringing the herd in to get milked. When the time came to take them back out again we were engaged on other vital business, I can’t remember exactly what but I’m sure it involved football, playing cowboys and Indians, fending off some galactic foe who was attacking earth that day, or some such vital stuff. But we could hear the commotion in the distance.

Furious about something, only he knew what, the bull roared angrily and ran towards my uncle who had been leading the way. With his head lowered he hit my uncle between his lower back and his knees and threw him up into the air like a rag doll – and my uncle was a BIG man. Very fortunately the bull tossed him into the air with such force that he went clean over the raised fence and hedge on the right hand side of the lane and ended up in one of the fields. 

The crazy bull then tried to go after him but couldn’t get up the steep embankment on which the fence had been constructed. Another cousin, quite a bit older than us, saw the attack. He was in a tractor and he immediately had the presence of mind to use that to take the bull’s attention away from my uncle. The distraction seemed to work, because as suddenly as it had started it was over and things were back to normal.

But my uncle had learned a valuable lesson. Animals can be dangerous.

So had I, even though I wasn’t there at the time, but from then on I haven’t been a fan of bulls – not in Chicago or Wall Street either come to think of it.

Unfortunately Mayor Bohlke wasn’t so lucky with his donkey.

I wonder if it happened something like this???

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