Friday The 13th, Part Two.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Friday 13th

What do you know, it’s Friday 13th AGAIN.

Second one in two months and there will be another in November 2015 too.

How lucky is that?

Well, I guess not so lucky if you suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia (also known as friggatriskaidekaphobia), which is a fear of Friday the 13th, or even triskadekaphobia which is the scientific name given to a fear of the number 13 itself.

It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise really. The longest period that can occur without a Friday the 13th is 14 months, and every year has at least one and sometimes, like this year, three Friday the 13ths.

There is no written evidence for a “Friday the 13th” superstition before the 19th century, the first reference to an unlucky Friday the 13th coming in an 1869 biography of the composer Rossini who died on Friday November 13, 1868.

The superstition only gained widespread distribution in the 20th century, although the origin is believed to have come from the Bible, the association stemming from the idea that the 13th guest at the Last Supper was the one who betrayed Jesus prior to his death, which occurred on a Friday.

The Curtis Hotel in Denver

Hotels, skyscrapers and even hospitals have been known to skip out on creating a 13th floor due to its unlucky connection and even airports sometimes quietly omit gate 13. The Curtis Hotel in Denver, Colorado, on the other hand uses the superstition as a gimmick to amuse guests by playing the “dun, dun, dunnnnn!!” theme in the elevator shaft for guests as they arrive on the 13th floor.

Sometimes research seems to add weight to the superstition. A study in Finland, for example, has shown that women are more likely to die in traffic accidents on Friday the 13th than on other Fridays.

And, according to a report from U.K.’s newspaper, The Mirror, 72 percent of United Kingdom residents have claimed to have had bad luck experiences Friday the 13th. The readers polled admitted to avoiding traveling, attending business meetings and making large purchases on this unlucky day, with 34 percent admitting to wanting to “hide under their duvet” for the upcoming dates. The study did not speculate if their luck would have been better if they had gone about their normal business!

Former US President Franklin D. Roosevelt had a strong fear of the number 13 and refused to host a dinner party with 13 guests or to travel on the 13th day of any month. US President Herbert Hoover had similar fears.

Maybe he did what superstitious diners in Paris do – hire a quatorzieme, or professional 14th guest.

I don’t think Cuban leader Fidel Castro had the same fears because he was born on Friday, August 13,1926, as was the celebrated outlaw Butch Cassidy (born on. Friday, April 13,1866).

Butch Cassidy

Speaking of outlaws, Oklahoma bandit Crawford “Cherokee Bill” Goldsby murdered 13 victims, and was captured after a reward of $1300 was posted. At his trial, 13 eyewitnesses testified against him, the jury took 13 hours to render a verdict of guilty. He was hanged on April 13,1896 on a gallows with 13 steps!

Stock broker and author Thomas W. Lawson, wrote a novel in 1907 entitled “Friday the Thirteenth,” about a stockbroker’s attempts to take down Wall Street on the unluckiest day of the month. Reportedly, stock brokers after this were as unlikely to buy or sell stocks on this unlucky day as they were to walk under a ladder, according to accounts of a 1925 New York Times article.

The independent horror movie Friday the 13th was released in May 1980 and despite only having a budget of $550,000 it grossed $39.7million at the box office in the United States – not unlucky for it’s backers. In fact the “Friday the 13th” film franchise continues to sweep up its box-office competition. According to  BoxOfficeMojo.com, the dozen films named after the haunted holiday have raked in more than $380 million nationally, with an average gross of $31 million per feature.

Another director noted for his suspenseful psychological thrillers, Alfred Hitchcock, was born on the Friday 13th in August 1899, although he also had a run in with bad luck on that date too when his directorial debut movie called “Number 13,” never made it past the first few scenes and was shut down due to financial problems. He is supposed to have said that the film wasn’t very interesting. We’ll never know!

Alfred Hitchcock

Also with movies in mind there was a feature film based on the unlucky events of Apollo 13, launched on 13:13 CST, April 11,1970, which barely escaped becoming a doomed flight when an explosion disabled the craft occurring on April 13th (not a Friday in case you are interested).

According to Thomas Gilovich, chair of Psychology at Cornell University, our brains are known to make associations with Friday 13th in a way that would give favor to the “bad luck” myths. He explains this by saying that “if anything bad happens to you on Friday the 13th, the two will be forever associated in your mind and all those uneventful days in which the 13th fell on a Friday will be ignored.” It’s a bit like remembering the good old days and forgetting the bad ones!

Always contrary, pagans believe that 13 is actually a lucky number since it corresponds with the number of full moons in a year and in Spanish-speaking nations, Tuesday The 13th is regarded as unlucky rather than Friday!

So I guess you just have to make up your own mind whether you believe Friday 13th is unlucky or not.

I’m hoping of course that the fact that you have landed on this blog today is good luck rather than bad.

It was good luck for me, please call again.

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They’ve Got It Wrong AGAIN!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

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russia-sanctions

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I wrote a short post the other day on the subject of failure. I think it was a success 🙂

What hasn’t been a success, however, is America’s foreign policy. I’ve also written about this many times in the past. I find it very annoying that a country as great as America and with so many brilliant people within it can neither elect a smart politician, or even a not so smart politician but one who has enough brains to hire smart advisers.

The current President, Barack Obama, has continued the trend of failure. Particularly with regard to foreign policy, at which he has not only failed but added indecision and procrastination to the mix.

The examples are many, but the latest foreign policy debacle is the leading role America has taken in the imposition of sanctions against Russia. Sanctions that may have been aimed against Russia but which are already starting to backfire against the US.

I noted in another post that sanctions have been imposed in regard to Russian oil and natural gas, which Europe (particularly Germany and France) needs, but America doesn’t; but that the sanctions were not imposed on nuclear fuels, which America does need.

Believe me, the hypocrisy of that has not been lost on the European governments or its public.

And the hypocrisy does not end there.

rosneft getty

On the one hand there have been hyped up media statements telling everyone that Rosneft, Russia’s largest oil company, and its head Igor Sechin, have been targeted in the sanctions.

But what hasn’t been trumpeted so loudly is the fact that British oil company BP, owns almost 20% of Rosneft, and has confirmed that it would not be severing ties with the Russian firm.

Similarly, Norway’s Statoil is continuing its partnership with Rosneft to search for oil in the Norwegian section of the Barents Sea.

And France’s major oil and gas company, Total, has announced that it is seeking financing for its next gas project in –  where else? –  Russia. When they get that financing, amounting to something in the region of $27 billion, it will be in Roubles or maybe even Yuan, but certainly not in US dollars – again thanks to the ill thought out sanctions.

This will set a trend for similar deals that will also exclude the US dollar, inevitably lowering its standing as the world’s reserve currency. I expect more such deals to be done with the Russians by German companies in particular as the sanctions fail to bring the promised results and as a consequence start to fall apart.

But it gets worse.

Before any of the US Senators or Congressmen stand up and start to call names at the Brits or the Norwegians or the French for backtracking on sanctions, they would be better to take a look nearer home.

It now seems that American Companies are not paying attention to the sanctions either.

ExxonMobil_Challenges

For example, ExxonMobil, America’s largest oil company, has continued drilling offshore in the Russian Arctic, also with Rozneft.

If the sanctions were anything more than a bit of public posturing by Obama, ExxonMobil shouldn’t (and wouldn’t) be doing any more work with the Russians in Russia. But using the excuse that it is environmentally safer to complete the well than to allow the Russians to do it alone, ExxonMobil got permission to continue.

No doubt the company will express its gratitude when the next round of electioneering fund raising comes along! (Gosh, I’m such a cynic!)

Now, if Obama and his advisers had thought for a moment about the consequences of sanctions, they would have realized that, in cases like this, companies such as ExxonMobile had not really got a choice. If they hadn’t continued to work with Rozneft, the Russian company would simply have gone ahead without them with a consequent dilution of ExxonMobile’s return if/when the well is a success.

In addition to that, if the Russian company did need other help you can be sure there would have been a Chinese energy company there ready and willing and eager to take up the slack.

Whilst Obama and his predecessors have been blundering around the world pissing off friend and foe alike, the strategy of the Russian President has been to cultivate new friends and thereby new markets and customers for his country’s vast energy reserves.

It has been a clever move.

Sanctions or not, game to Putin this time I think.

sanctions against Russia

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The Opportunity Of A Lifetime!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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How often have you seen “The Opportunity Of A Lifetime” pop up on the internet or in your email?

This time it’s different, though.

This time it’s true!

Well, sort of.

stupid dog cartoon

Because this is your chance to own what is possibly the stupidest dog in the world.

And it won’t cost you anything either, we’re giving him away to the first good home

FOR FREE!!!

If you are stupid, and you want a companion at least as stupid as you are, if not more so, this is the perfect dog for you.

His name is ‘Scotty’, (and, yes, I have asked to be “beamed up” several times), but don’t let the name put you off.

You can call him anything you like, ‘Rover’, ‘Patch’, ‘Lassie’, ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’, ‘November’, or whatever, because it’s all the same to him – this dog is so dumb he doesn’t even know his own name.

His lack of knowledge is on such a vast scale I’m astounded the known Universe is expanding rapidly enough to contain it.

He doesn’t know how to sit. He doesn’t know how to stay. He doesn’t know how to come, or to stop, or to heel, or anything you can teach a normal dog to do.

He just doesn’t know anything.

And you won’t have to waste your time and money training him either, because this dog just cannot learn. Believe me I have done my best!

He is painfully stupid in at least the four different languages we have tried. He doesn’t speak English, nor does he hablar español, he hasn’t a clue how to parler francais, and you might as well try to speak klingon as sprechen Deutsch to him.

A big plus is that he is small and won’t eat you out of house and home. All you have to remember to do is buy cat food and not dog food and you’ll be fine. The cat beats him up every time he eats her food, but he doesn’t learn from that either. I don’t think he even knows he’s a dog.

The only one thing he has learned, is not to shit in the house, but in truth I think this has more to do with the fact that every time he tried he discovered he couldn’t with my toe up his arse.

He barks at strangers, which is good. And if he left it at that we wouldn’t mind.

But he also barks at people he knows, or rather, people he should know if he had the brains to remember who they were, which he hasn’t.

And some of the time he barks at nothing at all. It can go on for ages because, when he does bark at nothing, he must hear his own bark, think it’s another dog, and off he goes. Sometimes you can look at his face and watch him trying to figure it out.

“Woof!”

“Who said that? Grrrrr.”

“Woof!”

“There it is again!”

“Woof! Snarl.”

“WTF?”

“Woof!  Woof! Woof!”

“There’s another dog here somewhere.”

“Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!”

And on it goes for a while, until it stops for no reason, the same way it started.

He also doesn’t know his left back leg belongs to him. When he notices it is there, he attacks it as if it is another animal trying to insert itself into his leg socket. I’ve seen other dogs chasing their tail, but this is just ridiculous.

stupid dog zone sign

Finally, every time the front gate is opened, he has taken to running down the street after bicycles and motorbikes – that he doesn’t know how to ride – and after cars and other vehicles – that he doesn’t know how to drive. What he would do with them if he ever caught one I just don’t know! Neither does he, but he does it anyway.

Somehow, and I find this rather incredible – and disappointing – he has always managed to find his way back home. I think it’s because he tries every other house on the way back and we are the only one silly enough to let him back in. I’ve told everyone to pretend they don’t know him when he turns up and he’ll just move on to the next house and then next, but they won’t listen to me.

So come on good people of the blogsphere, which of you is going to take advantage of this incredible opportunity of a lifetime?

You know how much I love dogs, I’ve said so before on this blog, but please get in touch as soon as you can and take this stupid dog off our hands before I crack up completely!

My father gave me a lot of good advice, and one of the things he told me many years ago was never to get a dog whose arsehole was bigger than its brain.

I should have listened! 

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It’s Monday Again, And You Know What That Means…. More Stupid Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi everyone, yes it’s Monday again and time for another selection of stupid quiz show answers.

Are you depressed at the horrendous level of stupidity out there in the big wide world, or just happy that you are a lot smarter then these guys? I mean, who could ever forget “Smelly Kelly”? 

Either way I hope you enjoy today’s bunch.

 

 

 

Q: Name a time when people wake up   

A: Morning

 

 

Q: Name a sport people play by themselves      

A: Video games

 

 

Q: The state with the best beaches        

A: Los Angeles

 

 

Q: Name something a husband asks his wife to carry in her purse          

A: Condoms

 

 

Q: Name something a woman likes a man to have that begins with the letter M    

A: Makeup

 

 

Q: Name a Southern city           

A: Georgia

 

 

Q: Name a subject people discuss on their first date      

A: Sex 

 

 

Q: Name something an airline passenger might be holding during a bumpy flight

A: A lucky rabbit’s foot  

 

 

Q: Name something about Dr. Phil that comedians make fun of 

A: His contestants

 

 

Q: Name a famous Kelly           

A: Kelly “Ripka”

A: “Smelly Kelly”

 

 

Q: Name a sure cure for a hangover      

A: Making love 

 

 

Q: Name a famous Christina     

A: Christina the car

 

 

Q: Name a food with an edible skin       

A: Banana

 

 

Q: The night with the worst TV programs

A: UPN

 

 

Q: Name something you put in tea        

A: Tea bag

 

 

Q: Name a place where you might see a dead body       

A: Your house  

 

 

Q: Name a job around the house that has to be done every fall  

A: Spring cleaning

 

 

Q: An occupation considered to be un-masculine           

A: Truck driver  

 

 

Q: Name something dogs can do better than people      

A: Pee 

 

 

Q: The longest amount of time you have spent without talking to your spouse    

A: 20 minutes   

 

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More Monday Madness – It’s Quiz Show Answers Time Again

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another Monday and more quiz show answers. Those that know about these things tell me that the universe is expanding. All I can tell you it would need to be expanding fast because the amount of stupidity in the world is accelerating at a phenomenal rate.

Want proof?

Read on….(and enjoy)

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Q: An article of clothing kids usually don’t like wearing   

A: Gap 

 

 

Q: An occupation in which you disguise your appearance           

A: Doctor

 

 

Q: Name something women borrow from each other      

A: Husbands

 

 

Q: Name a bad place to look for good husband material

A: Family Reunion

 

 

Q: Name something you put under a pillow        

A: Radio

 

 

Q: An astronaut

A: Neil Young

 

 

Q: Name something a man wears to bed           

A: Condom

 

 

Q: Name a room in the house where the family gathers   

A: Bathroom

 

 

Q: Name something people do when they’re alone         

A: Make love

 

 

Q: Name something starting with “egg”  

A: Excellent

A: Eggland

 

 

Q: Someone you’d never want to see the results of your IQ test 

A: The IRS

 

 

Q: Name a pie that does not contain fruit           

A: Lemon Meringue

 

 

Q: An ugly color           

A: Puce

 

 

Q: The one thing people know about Rosie O’Donnell.   

A: That she was the wife on the TV show “Roseanne”

 

 

Q: Name something a wife tells her husband to put on   

A: Makeup

 

 

Q: Name something a woman out on a date would hate to discover on her face  

A: Booger

 

 

Q: Name a department in a supermarket

A: Lingerie

 

 

Q: Name something you keep in the drawer beside your bed      

A: Contraceptives

 

 

Q: Name a magazine that many men get subscriptions to as gifts           

A: Playgirl

 

 

Q: The one word that people yell at the end of a performance    

A: “I love you.” 

 

 

Q: Someone Bugs Bunny might invite to his birthday party         

A: Doc 

 

 

Q: Name something that might get backed up   

A: Trash

A: Yourself

 

 

Q: Name something you know about Rudy Giuliani        

A: Absolutely nothing

 

 

Q: Name something you’d yell at if it stopped working   

A: Spouse

 

 

Q: Name a game show title that best describes your marriage    

A: Happy Days 

 

 

Q: Name a food that’s red on the inside

A: Kiwi 

 

 

Q: The talent show with the crankiest judges, past or present      

A: America’s Funniest Home Videos

 

 

Q: Name something you wash once a week       

A: Self 

 

 

Q: Name a TV show with the word “family” in it, past or present  

A: My Three Sons

 

 

Q: One of Santa’s reindeer        

A: Nixon

 

 

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Start The Week With An Idiot, Preferably Several – It’s Quiz Show Monday Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There are times and places I suppose one shouldn’t laugh, not that I bother too much about that, but one time when it is socially acceptable is on a Monday morning.

Here is your chance to test that out with another selection of ridiculous quiz show answers.

Enjoy.

 

 

Q: Name something roofs are made of  

A: Chalk stuff

 

 

Q: Name something men do when they run out of clean underwear         

A: Turn them inside out 

 

 

Q: Name something that people steal from work

A: Cash register

 

 

Q: Name a famous Peter          

A: Peter

 

 

Q: Name something that finishes the sentence: “You’re slower than…”     

A: Moses         

 

 

Q: Name something you feel before you buy it  

A: Excited        

 

 

Q: Name something you hope your dog doesn’t do right before he licks your head         

A: Burps          

 

 

Q: The ideal daily temperature   

A: 98.6?F         

 

 

Q: Name something with claws  

A: Christmas    

 

 

Q: Name something you wear two of at the same time   

A: Underwear    

 

 

Q: The first thing you take off after work           

A: Underwear

 

 

Q: An occasion for which you stayed up all night           

A: Lost virginity

 

 

Q: Name something that just you know is going break when its warranty runs out

A: Glass

 

 

Q: Name a bird that some people look like when they walk         

A: Dolphin

 

 

Q: Name something you hope your husband never loses (asked to 100 married women)  

A: His pants

 

 

Q: Name something a woman needs to have before she gets married     

A: A pap smear

 

 

Q: Name something babies throw out of their crib          

A: Prayer book 

 

 

Q: Name something that gets wet when you use it          

A: Toilet paper  

 

 

Q: Name something that guests get hit with on Jerry Springer     

A: Keys           

 

 

Q: An occupation that begins with the letter “J”  

A: A jackhammerer

 

 

Q: Name something people take to a bath         

A: Duck

 

 

Q: Name a letter many words begin with

A: Dear John    

 

 

Q: Name something you wish you had one of for each person in your home       

A: A house

 

 

Q: Name something office workers turn off at the end of the day           

A: Their brains  

 

 

Q: An actor who played a gangster       

A: Al Capone    

 

 

Q: Name something you throw away daily          

A: Toilet paper  

 

 

Q: Name a place where you take off your clothes, besides home           

A: School

 

 

Q: Name something you wash more than once per day   

A: Socks

  

 

Q: Name a man’s name that starts with the letter “P”

A: Porcupine

 

 

Q: Name something that rhymes with ‘coke’

A: Toke

 

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