It’s Not A Crime To Be A Complete Idiot – Although It Should Be!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Evelyn Hamilton is 37 years old.

She is from Lufkin, Texas.

And she is a complete idiot.

She’s also in jail because she is a complete idiot.

Not that being a complete idiot is a crime – although it should be.

Instead Evelyn Hamilton is in jail because her feeble brain told her to call the East Texas police to complain about

–  wait fot it  – 

the quality of the marijuana she had purchased from a dealer!

Apparently the dealer had refused to return her money when she complained, so in her empty head, phoning the police about him would get him into trouble, but not her.

But when Sgt. David Casper went to her house after the call to the police, and asks her if she was still in possession of the drugs, he says she pulled the small amount of marijuana from her bra.

More of a smoke than a smoking gun, I grant you, but the Sergeant arrested her anyway on a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia.

Good one Evelyn!

 

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Did They Really Mean To Say That? Newspaper Headlines Nightmares, Part Six!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today part six of the newspaper headline series.

I’m sure you already have your favorites but there’s more to come.

These mistakes are a lot more commonplace that you might at first think.

If they get enough exposure then maybe in future the people who write these headlines will take a bit more care over their work, but I doubt it.

And all the better for us!

Here we go again.

Enjoy.

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Did You Know? More Random Fact File Fun

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Facts don’t more random than these selections.

A little something for everyone seems to be the goal, so I hope you find at least one fact in here of interest.

Enjoy.

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People say “bless you” when you sneeze

because your heart stops for a millisecond.

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US gold coins used to say

“In Gold We Trust”.

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Kuwait is about 60% male

(highest in the world).

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Latvia is about 54% female

(highest in the world).

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The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.

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Julius Caesar’s autograph is worth about $2,000,000.

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The surface of the Earth is about 60% water and 10% ice,

but the volume of fresh water compared to

the volume of the earth is a lot smaller.

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For every 230 cars that are made, 1 will be stolen.

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Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.

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John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died on July 4th.

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In 1386, a pig in France was executed

by public hanging for the murder of a child

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Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

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Present population of 7 billion plus people of the world

is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.

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A man named Charles Osborne

had the hiccups for 69 years!

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A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!

(That takes some lickin’)

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The average person laughs 10 times a day!

(But obviously readers of the Fasab blog are well above average!)

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Someone paid $14,000 for the bra worn by

Marilyn Monroe in the film ‘Some Like It Hot’.

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More than 1,000 different languages

are spoken on the continent of Africa.

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The White House has 132 rooms and

a total floor area of around 55,000 ft²

(5,100 square metres).

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Buckingham Palace in England has 775 rooms and

the total floor area of the Palace, from basement to roof,

covers over 828,000 square feet (77,000 square metres).

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Thirteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!

german Shepherd, puppy, puppies, “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today Part Thirteen of our look at the Classified Ads that turned out a little bit differently than originally planned.

Verification in print that stupidity is alive and well.

Enjoy!

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‘A Sad Ray Gun, Man’

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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‘A Sad Ray Gun, Man’

Did you get it?

Yes. its ‘Anagram Sunday’.

Enjoy.

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‘rescued’

secured

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘mother-in-law’

woman hitler

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘David Letterman’

nerd amid late tv

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘snooze alarms’

alas no more z’s

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘To cast pearls before swine’

One’s labor is perfect waste

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Vacation Times’

I’m Not as Active

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘The Hilton’

Hint: Hotel

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Payment received’

Every cent paid me

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Postmaster’

Stamp Store

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘School master’

The classroom

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘The Hurricanes’

These churn air

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Waitress’

A stew, Sir?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘certainly not’

can’t rely on it

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Emperor Octavian’

Captain over Rome

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘a perfectionist’

I often practice

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘A shoplifter’

has to pilfer

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘asteroid threats’

disaster to earth

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Breasts’

Bra sets

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘Contradiction’

Accord not in it

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

‘I think therefore I am’

I fear to think I’m here

 

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Twenty Questions Tuesday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Like this time last week this is a test that isn’t a test. Just a series of questions that will hopefully make you think and make you smile. Although you don’t hear them asked very often, if at all, some of the questions are quite reasonable.

If you find you can answer any or all of them, then well done.

As usual, enjoy.

 

 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Why are you ‘IN’ a movie, but you’re ‘ON’ TV?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

 

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

 

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ass?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

Do the ‘Alphabet song’ and ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ have the same tune?

 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

 

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