Paddling In The Shallow End – More Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

They’re at it again. Joe Public and friends have been let loose on several more quiz shows to let the world at large see the depth of their knowledge. Suffice to say we will all be paddling in the shallow end today.

Enjoy!  

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Q:  There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?

A:  Jelly.

states of matter

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Q:  How many Olympic Games have been held?

A:  Six.

Q:  Higher!

A:  Five.

olympic games logo

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Q:  In which country is Mount Everest?

A: (long pause): Er, it’s not in Scotland, is it?

Scots mountaineer

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Q:  We’re looking for an occupation beginning with T.

A:  Doctor.

Q:  No, it’s ‘T’. ‘T’ for Tommy. ‘T’ for Tango.

A:  Oh, (pause) Doctor.

docTor

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Q:  Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?

A:  I need a clue.

Q:  OK. What do beans come in?

A:  Cartons?

beans in cans

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Q:  In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.

A:  Er. . . Tony Brown. . . and Nigel Benn. (Silence.)

Nigel Benn boxer!
Nigel Benn boxer!

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Q:  What is the Italian word for ‘motorway’?

A:  Expresso.

Espresso

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Q:  The action of which Shakespeare play takes place between dusk on January 5 and dawn on January 6?

A:  A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Shakespeare, to blog or not to blog

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Q:  Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?

A:  No, it was a dinosaur.

Cartoon Tyrannosaurus Rex

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Q:  Name the German national airline.

A:  The Luftwaffe.

Luftwaffe logo

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Q:  What is the name of the cord cut after a woman gives birth?

A:  Biblical cord.

biblical cord cartoon

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Q:  Which classical composer became deaf in later life: Ludwig van . . ?

A:  Van Gogh.

Beethoven

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Q:  Name a selection of small, highly colored sweets known as Dolly . . ?

A:  Parton.

Dolly Parton

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Q:  Name a famous bridge.

A:  The Bridge Over Troubled Waters.

Bridge Over Troubled Water

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Q:  In 1863, which American president gave the Gettysburg Address?

A:  I don’t know, it was before I was born.

Lincoln's Gettysburg Address

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Q:  In the 1940s, which politician was responsible for the welfare state: William . . who?

A:  The Conqueror.

William the Conqueror cartoon

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Q:  What is the name of the primitive language used by the Ancient Egyptians and painted on walls?

A:  Hydraulics.

cartoon egyptian

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Q:  In science, what is botany the study of?

A:  Bottoms.

bottoms up

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Stick It Where The Sun Don’t Shine!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

You’ve possibly heard of the saying, “Stick your head where the sun don’t shine”? If you haven’t, or you are not sure what it means just take a quick look at my logo/gravatar for this blog and you’ll get the picture.

My blog post starts in Paderborn, Germany, where an elephant was under the care of overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt.

The problem was that the poor elephant was constipated and had been for a few days. Not a pleasant affliction if you’ve ever had to suffer it.

In his desperation to help the poor elephant Stefan had given it twenty-two doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes.

Not content with that explosive mixture, Fredrich also thought he would give the plugged-up pachyderm an olive oil enema as well.

As he was doing so, however, the first concoction must have done its work. The elephant let fly and dumped two hundred pounds of poop on top of Fredrich.

Unfortunately, according to flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern, “The sheer force of the elephant’s unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him”.

With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he unfortunately suffocated.

It seems to be just one of those freak one-in-a-million accidents that happens.

Er…. Better make that two-in-a-million.

Here’s a video.

Enjoy!