What Do I Think Of Message Boards? I’m Forum!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


And I’m for punny jokes too.

The worse, the better.

Here’s some more.

Enjoy or endure!




Downloading digital audio has completely revolutionized our lives.

It’s the biggest change in the way we buy music since records began.




I went to the doctors today

about my addiction to astrology.

He said “What are the signs?”




For Sale:

Grandfather clock

– only one part missing.

Second hand.

Grandfather clock



My wife asked me to fix a

plug for her this morning.

I refused.

fix a plug



Did you hear about the guy who 

trashed a Chinese restaurant?

He’s being charged with

Wonton Destruction.




I looked up ‘Opaque’ in the dictionary today.

The definition was not very clear.

Opaque glass



Scientists who were against genetic engineering

have managed to cross a seagull with a sheep,

which is a massive ewe tern.

seagull and sheep - Tanya Marriott designs



I bought a belt made entirely from five dollar bills.

It was a waist of money.

Money Origami



What is a group of deaf people called?

I bet it’s not a herd.

group of deaf people



To help change her appearance my missus

has started using clay facials with cucumber slices

over her eyes and her hair in rollers.

It helps, but I can still tell it’s her.




I got stopped by a policeman

while I was driving along the road.

I stopped, opened the window and he said

“This is a spot check.”

So I replied

“I’ve got 2 blackheads and a boil on my bottom!”

cartoon cop stopping car



Fibonacci numbers.

It’s as easy as 1, 1, 2, 3.

Fibonacci numbers



I hate the local debating group.

They discussed me.

debating group



So; if men are from Mars

and women are from Venus,

do gay men come from Uranus?

(Oh oh, that’s going to offend somebody!)




We used to call the printer in the office ‘Bob Marley’.

It was always jammin!





Did You Know? The Fact File Is Open Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


The fact file is open again so let’s have a look and see what random bits of information have come up today.

As always, enjoy.


did you know5


Through the first half of the 20th century,

only one winner of the Oscar for Best Picture was filmed in color:

Gone with the Wind.



Horses and donkeys are of different species.

In order to get what we call a “mule,” a horse and donkey

must mate and produce offspring.

Any offspring between two different species

will be sterile and unable to reproduce.

horse and donkey in love


Between 1912 and 1948, art competitions were a part of the Olympics.

Medals were awarded for architecture, music, painting, and sculpture.

LondonAlbertHallArt poster


Medal of Honor recipient Thomas Baker

was gravely wounded and had his comrades leave him behind,

propped up against a tree with a pistol that had 8 bullets remaining.

Later they found his body next to the tree,

surrounded by 8 dead Japanese soldiers.

Thomas Baker Medal of Honor


A 14 year old boy broke into Buckingham Palace

and stole the Queen’s underwear.

The Queen's Knickers


Theodore Roosevelt was once shot at during a campaign rally in Wisconsin.

The bullet penetrated his glasses case and a manuscript,

just missing his right lung.

Being an expert hunter he decided to stay and give his speech

since he wasn’t coughing up blood.

His speech lasted nearly an hour.



Sean Penn once beat Madonna over the head with a baseball bat,

shot at a paparazzi,

and hung another paparazzi by is ankles from a ninth-floor balcony.

(I hope he isn’t upset by this post!)



In 1994, Bill Gates bought the Da Vinci Codex for $30m

and then had it scanned and distributed

as screensavers and wallpapers for Windows95.

Da Vinci Codex


An eyeball weighs about 1 ounce.



World Famous Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey

is made only in the small town of Lynchburg, Tennessee.

Though the town supplies the world with the famous libation,

not a drop may be purchased for consumption anywhere in town.

Moore County is a “dry” county,

meaning that the sale and consumption of alcohol is illegal.

Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey


300 people died in Ycuá Bolaños supermarket fire

on Sunday, August 1, 2004 in Asunción, Paraguay

because the owners shut the doors

so people wouldn’t leave without paying.



Cats sweat through the pads of their feet

(especially when they hear a dog barking)

and cannot taste sweet things.

cat's paw


In 1939, Hitler’s nephew wrote an article called

“Why I Hate My Uncle.”

He came to the U.S., served in the Navy,

and settled on Long Island.

Hitler's nephew


Britain’s Prince Harry is partial owner

of a racehorse named Usain Colt.

Usain Colt


A priest on the Titanic refused a place on a life boat twice,

and stayed behind to hear confessions and

give absolution to people left on the ship.



A “2 by 4″ is really 1 1/2″ by 3 1/2″.

2 by 4


There are more than 40,000 different

spoken languages in the world today.



11% of the world is left-handed.



With five full-time chefs, the White House kitchen

is able to serve dinner to as many as 140 guests

and hors d’oeuvres to more than 1,000.

White House kitchen


Bob Marley was buried with his red Gibson guitar,

a Bible opened to Psalm 23, and a bud of marijuana.