“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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No, this isn’t a list of the names of the members of the HoR or the Senate, or even the Obama administration, although I see why you would have jumped to that conclusion.
I thought I would try to lighten the mood for the weekend by posting some of the political jokes that made me smile.
Hope they have the same effect on you.
Enjoy.
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common:
they should both be changed regularly…
and for the same reason.
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Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new ‘Obama Value Meal’?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
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Q: How many politicians does
it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and
another one to change it back again.
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Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Senator.
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We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope.
Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.
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The recession is getting so bad,
the bank sent me a new type of credit card.
It was pre-declined.
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It was so cold in Washington today,
I saw a Democrat who had his hands in his own pockets!
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I is very proud dat I went 2 school in da UK.
I fink out of all 17 countries in da world UK is da best.
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When they call the roll in the Senate,
the Senators do not know whether to answer
‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’
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Today’s public figures can no longer
Today’s public figures can no longer
write their own speeches or books,
and there is some evidence
that they can’t read them either.
(Gore Vidal.)
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‘Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it whether it exists or not,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedy’.
(Ernest Benn.)
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‘Politicians are the same all over.
They promise to build bridges,
even where there are no rivers’.
(Nikita Kruschchev.)
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I just hope our next world war isn’t with China.
Who would make uniforms for the troops?
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The Iranian leader has left
on a tour of friendly countries.
He’s expected home tomorrow.
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Foreign Aid :
Poor people in a rich country
sending money to
rich people in a poor country.
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I rarely speak to Obama supporters,
but when I do….
I ask for large fries.
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Obama: “Here we are, two black presidents.”
Mandela: “You’re not very black.”
Obama: “I’ve not been to jail.”
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President Obama met Bill Clinton for lunch.
“I was sorry to hear about Hillary’s concussion,”
Obama said. “How’s her head?”
“It’s fine,” Bill replied.
“But she’s no Monica.”
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My computer crashed earlier and I lost all my files,
Luckily the NSA has a back up…
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Stop repeat offenders.
Don’t re-elect them!
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Democracy:
A political system where
any two idiots outvote a genius.
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How many Feminists does
it take to change a lightbulb?
Two.
One to get a man to change it,
and the other to criticize men for inventing it.
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Spin doctors:
People who never call a spade a spade.
They proclaim it as a ground-breaking innovation.
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Politicians should serve two terms.
One in office, one in prison.
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No matter who you vote for
the government always seems to get in.
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Definition of an elephant:
A mouse built to government specifications.
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The word ‘politics’ is derived from
the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’,
and the word ‘ticks’,
meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.
(Larry Hardiman.)
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fasab 