Apparently Towels Are The Biggest Cause Of Dry Skin.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


I couldn’t make my mind for a while whether that title was a pun or a fabulous fact.

But it’s Pun Day, so a play on words it is.

Enjoy or endure!




My uncle works for a company

that makes bicycle wheels.

He’s the Spokesman.

bicycle wheel spokes



Police, “You’re under arrest for trespassing.”

Me, “On what grounds?”

no trespassing sign



I know a guy who in his spare time likes to dress up as a knight,

and jump over 20 parked cars on a horse.

I call him Medieval Knievel.

Medieval Knight



Having fake teeth.

That’ll denture confidence




I actually tried plane sailing the other day….

It’s not as easy as it’s made out to be.

cartoon plane sailing



Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.

Big Ears



My wife always gets annoyed when I leave her out.

Especially if it’s raining.

woman in rain



Arkansas is just Kansas with pirates.




Once when I was in Chicago I did 35 press-ups in a row…

The elevator attendant looked pretty annoyed.

elevator buttons



I’ve spent my entire life researching the multiples of zero,

my career has amounted to nothing. 

lots of zeros



I asked my friend the other day, “Where’s your mum from?”

He replied, “Alaska.”

I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself.”




I saw a man with a trolley

full of horseshoes and rabbits’ feet earlier,

trying to get it up a hill.

I thought, “He’s pushing his luck.”

horseshoes and rabbits' feet



Some people say it’s sick and perverted to be a flasher.

I think it shows a lot of balls.

cartoon flasher



A Zen master once said to me,

“Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.”

So I didn’t.

cartoon zen master



I was referred to Dr. Dre the other day,

I have to go in for a hip-hoperation.





Smell My Finger! – It’s Quiz Show Answers Monday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


I can’t believe how fast this year is going. Another Monday and half way through October. But no matter how much time we put in people don’t seem to be getting any smarter. I think this next selection of quiz show answers proves it yet again.

And it may help to explain the rather odd headline on this post too.




Q: Name a talk show host you watch in the daytime        

A: Louie Anderson



Q: An electric appliance designed to be handheld           

A: Blender



Q: An animal with more than four legs   

A: Dog

A: Horse



Q: Name a famous woman who seems to intimidate other men   

A: Barbara Bush



Q: Name something that can damage a home    

A: A woman



Q: Name a food that comes in instant form       

A: Asparagus   



Q: Name something you ask people to smell     

A: Your finger   



Q: Name something that runs on a track

A: Speakers     



Q: An instrument used by a doctor        

A: Violin



Q: Name something in a candy bar, besides chocolate  

A: Candy



Q: The country with the most intriguing women   

A: Africa



Q: Name a bad habit that has serious consequences     

A: Picking your nose     



Q: Name a cartoon character with big ears         

A: Kermit the Frog



Q: Name something Scotch      

A: Water



Q: Name a famous Barbara       

A: Barbara Washington



Q: Name a city that jetsetters visit         

A: Florida

A: Norway



Q: Name a woman who’s had her breasts supersized     

A: Wonder Woman



Q: An age where a person would be happy to be carded at a bar

A: 18



Q: Name something people cheat on     

A: Chicago Bears



Q: Name something you might find in a manicure set     

A: A wig