Did You Know? More Random Fact File Fun

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Facts don’t more random than these selections.

A little something for everyone seems to be the goal, so I hope you find at least one fact in here of interest.

Enjoy.

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People say “bless you” when you sneeze

because your heart stops for a millisecond.

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US gold coins used to say

“In Gold We Trust”.

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Kuwait is about 60% male

(highest in the world).

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Latvia is about 54% female

(highest in the world).

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The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.

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Julius Caesar’s autograph is worth about $2,000,000.

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The surface of the Earth is about 60% water and 10% ice,

but the volume of fresh water compared to

the volume of the earth is a lot smaller.

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For every 230 cars that are made, 1 will be stolen.

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Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.

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John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died on July 4th.

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In 1386, a pig in France was executed

by public hanging for the murder of a child

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Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

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Present population of 7 billion plus people of the world

is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080.

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A man named Charles Osborne

had the hiccups for 69 years!

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A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!

(That takes some lickin’)

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The average person laughs 10 times a day!

(But obviously readers of the Fasab blog are well above average!)

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Someone paid $14,000 for the bra worn by

Marilyn Monroe in the film ‘Some Like It Hot’.

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More than 1,000 different languages

are spoken on the continent of Africa.

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The White House has 132 rooms and

a total floor area of around 55,000 ft²

(5,100 square metres).

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Buckingham Palace in England has 775 rooms and

the total floor area of the Palace, from basement to roof,

covers over 828,000 square feet (77,000 square metres).

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Nowhere Is Safe!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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One would hope that libraries, being depositories of knowledge, would be a place relatively safe from the intellectually challenged.

Sadly, stupid people invade every space, libraries included.

To prove the point here is a short selection of actual stupid questions asked of librarians. 

Enjoy.

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“Do you have books here?”

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“Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?”

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“Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?”

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“I’m looking for Robert James Waller’s book, ‘Waltzing through Grand Rapids.”

(The actual title is “Slow Waltz In Cedar Bend.”)

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“Where is the reference desk?”

(Asked of a worker sitting at a desk, over which was a sign saying ‘REFERENCE DESK’.)

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“Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?”

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“Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?”

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“I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?”

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“I need a color photograph of George Washington.”

(Other individuals asked for, by other patrons, are Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, and more.)

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“Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?”

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“I’m looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I’m having trouble with it in my neck.”

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“Is the basement upstairs?”

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“I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months.”

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“I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It’s big and red, and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?”

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“Do you have anything good to read?”

The response was,

“No, ma’am. I’m afraid we have 75,000 books, and they’re all duds.”

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Dumbass: “I am looking for a globe of the earth.”

Librarian: “We have a table-top model over here.” 

Dumbass: “No, that’s not good enough. Don’t you have a life-size?”

Librarian: (pause) “Yes, but it’s in use right now.”

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And finally a joke.

 

Man goes up to the library reference desk and asks the assistant,

“Do you have a copy of that new book for men with small penises?”

The librarian replies,

“I don’t think it’s in yet.”

“Yes,” the man says. “That’s the one!”

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PUN: A Play On Words….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I looked in the dictionary for today’s post.

It said, PUN: a play on words; the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications; the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning.

And, do you know, it was right.

Enjoy!

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I’ve never been to our basement.

I think it’s is beneath me

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Did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

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First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door.

Funny sense of humor my plumber has.

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When I was younger my Grandma used to rub lard into my Grandpa’s back when he was ill.

He went down hill fast after that.

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I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue.

I couldn’t put it down.

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I went in to a pet shop.

I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?”

The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?”

I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

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Just seen a sign outside the hardware store:

“Stainless Steel Sinks”.

Bit obvious, I thought.

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I went to the Video Shop the other day.

I said, “Can I take out Batman Forever?”

They said, “No, you have to bring it back tomorrow.”

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God is talking to one of his angels.

He says, “Boy, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.”

“What are you going to do now?” asks the angel.

“Call it a day,” says God.

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A Freudian slip is one where you say one thing but mean a mother.

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I recently took up meditation.

It beats sitting around doing nothing.

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I was chopping up carrots with the Grim Reaper yesterday…

….You could say I was dicing with death.

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I went to the doctors.

He said, “You’ve got hypochondria.”

I said, “Oh no, not that as well.”

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My dog is a blacksmith.

Every time I open the front door he makes a bolt for it.

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I don’t understand how people call me homophobic.

I love my house.

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Did you hear about the guy that trashed a Chinese restaurant?

He’s being charged with Wonton Destruction.

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