“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
.
Pun day!
Twenty more examples of word play to make you smile or groan, or maybe even both.
Enjoy!
.
.
No matter how hard I try, I simply can’t figure out
what’s the opposite of ironing.
It’s depressing.
.
.
.
What’s the difference between mountains and hills?
Mountains tend to get high, but hills are less inclined
.
.
.
After criticizing yet another outfit, my wife said she
was going to leave me due to my poor dress sense.
“Please baby” I pleaded. “I can change.”
.
.
.
Doctor Who started working for our road repair company today,
his first job was to fill in potholes.
“Tardis”, I told him.
.
.
.
Pepperami..
What Sgt Pepper served in.
.
.
.
Did you hear about the guy who was so stupid
that when they gave him enough rope,
he shot himself.
.
.
.
The blow hard bloke next door says his car is more powerful than mine
and that he would easily beat me in a race.
He’s all torque.
.
.
.
I’ve been caught up in a race row.
I don’t care what he says, I won fair and square.
.
.
.
People often tell me I have very little patience.
But that’s probably because I’m a doctor specializing in dwarfism.
.
.
.
A friend of mine accused me of plagiarism.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I took his word.
.
.
.
I saw that the latest remake of the Dukes of Hazzard includes
a scene where Bo and Luke install a talking car alarm.
I’m not sure that’s going to go down well,
General Lee speaking.
.
.
.
The wife used to work on a maternity ward.
It was labor-intensive.
.
.
.
My new neighbor works in a board game factory.
His job is to take small wooden cubes and engrave them.
I don’t like him…
He’s dot a dice person.
.
.
.
I stopped at a hotel last night called
“The good, the bad, and the ugly.”
It was a Best Western.
.
.
.
I once met a really stupid bloke on a Greek island.
He was a Cretan.
.
.
.
At an awards dinner last night,
I just finished enjoying some middle eastern dip
when I was called up to accept my award.
It was post hummus.
.
.
.
A few weeks ago, 1,400 people were killed in Syria by a chemical attack.
It almost became Obama’s road to Degasmasks.
.
.
.
I can never wear my lucky golf socks again.
I got a hole in one.
.
.
.
And since we are almost at the end of today’s post,
I have to announce that unfortunately tonight’s
Self Harmers Anonymous group
has been cancelled due to staff cuts.
.
.
.
An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant
and asked “Is there any chicken on the menu?”
I replied “No black Betty, it’s ham or lamb.”
.
.
======================================
.
fasab 