“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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No, it’s not just me.
Loads of people like puns and pun day.
Here’s another one.
Enjoy!
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If you’re fishing for compliments
it’s best to use allure.
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I just pitched a tent in the garden.
Surprised myself how far I could throw it.
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I was telling a friend that I made a
ventriloquist’s dummy out of some old carpet.
“Any good?” he queried.
“Nah, it’s ruggish,” I replied.
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I was stunned to find my Taser gun was still switched on.
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I shouldn’t have dumped my girlfriend after
overhearing her making fun of my poor endowment.
Turned out she was a financial adviser
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I’ve been using X and Y chromosomes in my
adverts recently since, after all, sex cells…
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Last night I looked up at the stars and thought:
“It’s crap being a dwarf in Hollywood.”
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When I was young, I used to think CCTV was
a very positive Spanish television channel.
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I’ve got an injured extraterrestrial in my shed.
He’s missing an eye.
I’ve called him Alen.
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My dog’s been sitting in the corner, feeling
sorry for himself, for three days.
I knew I shouldn’t have bought a Pitiful Terrier
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I saw a headline in the local paper:
“Huge Grant Saves Derelict Theatre”.
I thought: That was nice of him.
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I’m a doctor. My wife’s a judge.
She knows how to try my patients.
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My missus says she is leaving me because of my obsession with pool.
“Come on love”, I said. “Give me a break”.
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I thought I’d dug up an unknown species
of dinosaur in my back garden.
Excitedly I phoned the Natural History Museum,
but it turned out to be a fossil arm.
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I’ve taken thousands of showers over the years.
Never been caught once.
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A friend asked me if I knew any words that could describe relief.
I told him I know a phew
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I bought a new thesaurus today.
It’s nothing to write house about.
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I went for a colonic irrigation today,
then got hit with a huge $659 bill.
It really cleaned me out.
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I phoned up the incontinence hotline today and
the lady on the other end asked where I’m ringing from.
I said, “From the waist down.”
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What do Mexican Robots Eat?
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fasab 