Do You Need Help?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Now and again people have said to me, “You need help.” And I’m not just talking about people who read this blog. They mean it in a caring way I’m sure and indeed there are occasions when a little help would be very welcome.

This is especially so in business. In these cases you are even willing to pay for that help, but you still have the problem of letting people know that you have a job for them.

So what do you do?

You advertise the available positions, of course.

Sounds easy?

Well, for most of us it is. For the intellectually challenged not so much.

Take a look at this lot below and you’ll see what I mean.

Enjoy!

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helpwanted01

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helpwanted02

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helpwanted03

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helpwanted07

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helpwanted04

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helpwanted08

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helpwanted09

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helpwanted05

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helpwanted10

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helpwanted06

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helpwanted11

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helpwanted12

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helpwanted13

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helpwanted16

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helpwanted14

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helpwanted17

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helpwanted15

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helpwanted18

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helpwanted19

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helpwanted21

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helpwanted20

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helpwanted22

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Twenty-Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And they said it wouldn’t last.

Yes we are at part twenty-three of the classified ad disasters and the stupidity shows no sign of abating – thank goodness.

Here’s the latest batch.

Enjoy.

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classad_yourkidswillloveCoorslight

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classad_videoprojectoronitsass

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classad_walmartdressing

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classad_wecatteranyoccasion

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classad_weddingannouncement

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classad_wholecats

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classad_whyItaliansprefertoeatathome

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classad_withoutkonwlageofbasicenglish

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np_carnotforsale

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np_circumcismsummercut

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classad_viginabakedham

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and finally, at last a sport I could do really well,

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classad_whitewaterfarting

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CLASSIFIED: For your Eyes Only, Part Twenty-Two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another short selection of some of the silliest classified ads ever made.

How the people who constructed these didn’t see anything wrong with them I just don’t know. They obviously were reading what was in their head, not what was written down in front of them.

Still, it wasn’t a total waste of time. It’s given us something to smile about.

Enjoy.

PS: John, if you are reading this, there’s one of these suspiciously like the photo you use 🙂

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classad_supporttheneedy

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classad_thankyoucard

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classad_the3es

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classad_throwsknifeatpastor

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classad_tireswing

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classad_Titaniccanoerental

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classad_toiletpaperdemo

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classad_toyyodablackandwhite

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classad_turketshoot

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classad_urinatedchicken

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classad_takebullbytheballs

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classad_Susiechangedhershirt
I do believe she has changed her shirt!

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Twenty-One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hurrah!

They’ve come of age.

This is the twenty-first edition of the worst classified ads in the world, or at least that small bit of the world that I come into contact with. If you have as good or as bad as these please feel free to send them over. 

Enjoy.

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classad_salivatests

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classad_sandwichchoices

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classad_scamline

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classad_semigrosspaint

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classad_septicchickenbroth

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classad_seriouslotion

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classad_sipabowel

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classad_smokealarmsthedoorbell

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classad_smokealarm

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classad_spaklingwines

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classad_spamforschoollunch

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classad_speedylunchbuffett

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classad_steelhandledshovel

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classad_storehoursclosed

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Nineteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Classified ads day. 

Time to present another selection of classified ads that should be classified as something else.

Enjoy.

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classified ad newdorkstripsteak

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classified ad newpizza.

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classified ad nomoredoublechin.

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classified ad nopersonalchickenaccepted

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classified ad nutcrackershorts

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classified ad ObamainIrishad

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classified ad OilChange

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classified ad offincestrepellant

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classified ad oldfolkssausage

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classified ad onegallonhipflask

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classified ad onehourphotgraphy

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classified ad outdatedsnack

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classified ad outhousefudge

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classified ad paidforbyDebbieMartin

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classified ad onlyYouknowitsawig

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CLASSIFIED: For your Eyes Only, Part Eighteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to the latest batch of classified ads that failed the one simple test that all advertisements should pass

– did it say what it was supposed to say?

These didn’t.

Enjoy.

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classad_kidspaywhattheyweigh

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classad_krispykremedrive.

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classad_last1000hoursinEnglish.

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classad_licolontowncar.

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classad_livetoiletdemo.

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classad_loseupto205poundsperweek.

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classad_MagSubscription.

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classad_manuresummit.

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classad_mathathon.

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classad_mercuryfishandchips

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classad_mensurnalmagazine

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classad_michaeljackson

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classad_mushmoms

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classad_nachoplatter.

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classad_newagetherapy.

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Seventeen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Here we go with another bunch of classified ads.

They looked perfect, but not to most people.

Enjoy.

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classad_halfto50percentoff

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classad_HalloweenFleetEnema

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classad_hamhockssquirrel

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classad_haveahorsesitonyourlap

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classad_honkybowl

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classad_honorroll

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classad_hugendazicecream

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classad_hungarymandinners

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classad_huntersafety

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classad_hyptonistallyoucaneatbringyourownfood

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classad_illiterateinEnglish

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classad_insultingfabric

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classad_irregularcorndogs

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classad_joyoffasting

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classad_justacrossfromthewomensprison

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Remember The Good Old Days?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Remember the good old days?

In these difficult times there is a great comfort in looking back and remember how idyllic things were in the past. It is a place where all the summers were warm and sunny and the winters picturesque and pleasant.

At election times political candidates always like to remind us of times past and how good they were, implying that if they are elected they will see that all returns again to the way it was. 

Certainly some things were a lot better in many ways, but there are also a lot of things that were wrong too. 

It’s a subject I will probably return to again, but in the meantime here are a few old advertisements to remind you of how it used to be.

Reminisce and enjoy! 

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old ad 001.

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old ad 002

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old ad 003

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old ad 004

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old ad 005

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old ad 006

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old ad 007

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old ad 008

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old ad 009

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old ad 010

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old ad 011

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old ad 012

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old ad 013

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old ad 014

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old ad 015

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old ad 016

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old ad 017

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Sixteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another edition of the classified ads. Those advertisements that didn’t quite turn out as planned in the minds of those who devised them.

The first one reminded me of a small take-away Chinese establishment in a town near where I used to live. A friend and I stopped off there on the way home from work one evening, both of us hungry but not wanting to waste the time going for a sit-down meal.

We ordered our food and all went well. The take-away had an excellent reputation for producing good food and it was always very busy.

Sure enough after about ten minutes or so our ticket was called and I went up to the counter to collect.

It wasn’t the usual girl on duty that evening, but a small rather elderly Chinese lady.

Had it been the usual girl she would have known to pack some utensils, like a plastic fork, in the bag, but instead the little Chinese lady looked up into my face and asked in a heavily accented but loud voice for all to hear,

“D’ya wanna fok?”

There was momentary silence, no one quite knowing what they thought they had heard. Then my mouth got in the way of good sense and I said, “No thanks, I’m just in to get something to eat.”

Then everyone laughed and I made my way out of the place before any further conversation or explanation.

As it turns out the joke was on me in the end because I left without getting a ‘fok’ so the meal had to wait until I got home.

So that by way of anecdotal introduction leads us nicely to today’s classifieds.

Enjoy!

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classad_FuKingRestaurant

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classad_freegolf

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classad_freewith20beers.

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classad_engrish.

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classad_enjoyfreshesticecream

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classad_freeeye.

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classad_freshmadeshrimpthing.

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classad_frodfocus.

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classad_frozenicecubes.

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classad_fullycookedsushi.

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classad_Genuine20percentFaux.

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classad_getnewgasgrill.

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classad_grilledchickenandherpes.

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classad_groundgeef.

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classad_guidedogbarbeque.

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classad_girlwithlegsoppositebody.

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Fifteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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You would think that nothing would be easier than to think up a short ad for your business or something you had to sell. I mean, why blow lots of cash on advertising companies?

This could help explain why.

Enjoy.

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classad_classicpoohspreaders.

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classad_classmotto.

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classad_completeswissarmyknife.

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classad_corncribisgone.

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classad_crackfreecheesecake.

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classad_crimebrulee.

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classad_damboringcompany.

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classad_designerhandbags.

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classad_desingerplunger.

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classad_differentbreedofelectrician.

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classad_diningout.

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classad_dontbothercominghome.

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classad_DoveBrothers.

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classad_DrYuHu.

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