Astronomy Is Looking Up.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Astronomy is indeed looking up and so is today now that you’ve realized it’s Pun Day.

Lots more word play below, so…

Enjoy or endure!!

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My friends say

I always contradict them,

but I disagree.

 

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I applied for a loan,

but the bank had zero percent interest.

 

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For every action,

there is a social media over-reaction.

 

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I went to the museum and saw a Van Gogh painting.

Underneath it said “Loaned anonymously.”

I went to the front desk and said,

“I’d like my Van Gogh back now, please.”

 

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Quantum mechanics:

The dreams stuff is made of.

 

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I was a whisker away from finding

an entire utensil set yesterday.

 

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Pyongyang

– the only capital city that sounds

like a ricochet sound effect

from an old fashioned Western.

 

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My friend has just had surgery.

‘Surgery’ being the operative word.

 

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I was playing scrabble with my dad

when he spelled the word “stneve”.

It was an unexpected turn of events.

 

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Do deaf mathematicians

speak in sine language?

 

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They say when a man meets the right woman,

he is complete.

They say when a man meets the wrong woman,

he is finished.

They say when the right woman

meets the wrong woman with the man,

he is completely finished.

 

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Stupidity is not a handicap.

Park elsewhere.

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Now Why Didn’t I Ask That? – It’s Another Twenty Questions For Tuesday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Although some of these questions are a bit daft, some of them have a “Now why didn’t I ask that” quality about them too. So why didn’t you, and if you didn’t does that mean you know the answers?

Enjoy!

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Why do they say an American football team is the ‘world champion’ when they don’t play anybody outside the US?

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Do stuttering people stutter when they’re thinking to themselves?

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If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

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What are the handles for corn on the cob called?

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Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

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Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer?

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Do your eyes change color when you die?

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If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

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Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

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How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

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If K.F.C Stands for ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’, Why do they play sweet home Alabama on the commercials?

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If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?

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What type of animal is Snuffaluffagus?

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If you had a three story house and were on the second floor, isn’t it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

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Why do they call it ‘getting your dog fixed’ if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?

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Does a ‘Marks-A-Lot’ marker, mark any more than a regular marker?

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What happens when you put a lightsaber in water?

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If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

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How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

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Do movie producers still say “lights, camera, and action” when it is a dark scene?

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