“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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What was that? Whiteboards are remarkable?
Yes, another pun day awaits below.
Enjoy!
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My New Zealand girlfriend said that
she was falling in love with my rubbish puns,
so I asked her to maori me.
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My boss said I couldn’t park my monster truck in the work car park.
So I went over her head.
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When my grandfather passed away,
I had his ashes kept in an old bottle of vodka.
I know he’s not here right now,
but he’s with me in spirit.
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Feminism is sooooo cute.
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My wife also left me because of my constant animal puns.
She just couldn’t Bear it…
So she Swanned off…
And took the Kids…
Well at least I no longer have to listen to her bleating on…
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I rang the local ramblers club yesterday.
The bloke at the other end went on and on and on.
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Some say a world without sin is ideal,
but there are only so many problems which can be answered
with cos and tan.
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The worst pub I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle.
It really was a vile inn.
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If you’re always organizing things, you have OCD.
If you’re always eating things, you have OBCD.
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This girl came up to me today and
said she recognized me from vegetarian club.
I was confused, I’d never met herbivore.
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How did I get out of Iraq?
Iran.
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I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length.
Must be some kind of milestone.
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I’m not a competitive person…
I’ll be the first to admit it.
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Me and my friend have just been fighting
over which is the best vowel.
I won.
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Iron man.
What a Fe male.
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Today, I walked into a restaurant.
“Hi, is my table ready?”
“No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Great, take these to table six then.”
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What should you say when you see one of the toddlers
on the Intensive Care Unit is playing with a toy donkey?
ICU baby, shaking that ass.
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