I’m A Terrible Psychic – I Don’t Know About You.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue is always in the title.

Today is Pun Day, so brace yourself for more word play and silly jokes.

Go on, you know you love ‘em.

Enjoy or endure.

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rofl

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Can you tell me what someone from Corsica is called?

Corsican!

Corsican traditional dress

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My mum was getting annoyed because of her job sewing things.

I said, “You seamstressed.”

seamstress

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“Timmy , your homework assignment was to read War and Peace.

Why haven’t you read it?”

“Sorry Miss. It’s a long story.”

Tolstoy's War And Peace

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There was this group on Facebook called

‘Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat’.

So I became a fan.

fan

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I invested $1000 in some American shares…..

It made a lot of cents.

a lot of cents

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I was on a cruise ship which had both sides labeled as starboard.

Something wasn’t right.

cruise ship

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Don’t bother entering the Repairman Of The Year Award

– it’s fixed

repair man

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I fell out of a 600 story building and lived.

It was a library.

library

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Everyone who tastes my homemade wine says it tastes horrible.

I think it’s just sour grapes.

sour-grapes

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What do you have

if you have a cricket ball in one hand

and a cricket ball in the other?

A really big cricket!

jonata_Cricket

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I got myself a new toy – it’s a laminator.

Basically, it’s a machine that kills baby sheep.

lamb

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My girlfriend left me the other day.

Accordion to her I make tune many musical puns.

Accordion

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A guy walks into the psychiatrist

wearing only shorts made from Bubble wrap.

The psychiatrist says,

“Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

bubblewrap

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What’s the fastest way to get stoned?

Be a woman in Iran.

StopStoning

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“The total cost would be £3000,” said the funeral director.

“That includes digging the grave.”

“Is that the whole thing?” I asked.

He replied, “Yes, that’s the hole thing.”

grave

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Did You Know? More Fabulous Facts Folks!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Not much else needs to be said about today’s post.

Another selection of fabulous facts.

Enjoy.

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did you know1

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At one point in the 1990s,

50% of all CDs produced worldwide were for AOL.

aol_old_cdrom

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A British man changed his name to Tim Pppppppppprice

to make it harder for telemarketers to pronounce.

Tim Pppppppppprice

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Google’s founders were willing to sell to Excite

for under $1 million in 1999

—but Excite turned them down.

(Huge big dumb move, where is Excite today!)

ExciteLogo

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Officials in Portland, Ore., drained 8 million gallons of water

from a reservoir in 2011 because a buzzed 21-year-old peed in it.

Calvin peeing

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When three-letter airport codes became standard,

airports that had been using two letters simply added an X.

LAX

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A California woman once tried to sue the makers of Cap’n Crunch

because Crunch Berries contained “no berries of any kind.”

Cap'n Crunch berries

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Actor Wilford Brimley who has appeared in such films as

The China Syndrome, Cocoon, The Thing and The Firm,

was once Howard Hughes’s bodyguard.

Wilford "Bill" Brimleycirca 1980s

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According to Amazon, the most highlighted Kindle books are

the Bible, the Steve Jobs biography, and The Hunger Games.

amazon-kindle_with_books1-1

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During WWI, German measles were called “liberty measles”

and dachshunds became “liberty hounds.”

liberty measles

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In Spain, Mr. Clean is known as Don Limpio.

Don Limpio

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After leaving office, President Lyndon B Johnson

went all hippy and let his hair grow out.

Lyndon B Johnson long hair

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There was a third Apple founder. Ronald Wayne

he sold his 10% stake for $800 in 1976.

ron_wayne

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If you start counting at one and spell out the numbers as you go,

you won’t use the letter “A” until you reach 1,000.

number_1000

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In Gaddafi’s compound, Libyan rebels found a photo album

filled with pictures of Condoleezza Rice.

gadaffi-loves-condoleeza

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Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men is used by researchers

to attract animals to cameras in the wilderness.

calvin klein obsession men

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Only one McDonald’s in the world has turquoise arches.

Sedona, AZ thought yellow clashed with the natural red rock.

mcdonalds-sedona_az

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Marie Curie’s notebooks are still radioactive.

Researchers hoping to view them must sign a disclaimer.

curie-notebooks

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The 50-star American flag was designed by an Ohio high school student

for a class project. His teacher originally gave him a B–.

50 star US Flag

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Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima for work

when the first A-bomb hit,

made it home to Nagasaki for the second,

and lived to be 93.

Tsutomu Yamaguchi

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Barry Manilow did not write his hit “I Write the Songs.”

It was actually written by the former Beach Boy Bruce Johnston.

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Introducing The Prestigious MIL-POST Blog Award

The MIL-POST Blog Award
The MIL-POST Blog Award
for 1,000 posts on your blog

 

Today I want to do something a little different.

I would like to announce the creation of the prestigious MIL-POST Blog Award, for bloggers who have managed to keep their enthusiasm, inspiration and dedication going long enough to have posted 1,000 times on their blog.

The whole idea has been inspired by a casual comment on the blog of my friend Frank over at ‘afrankangle’ who today is celebrating his 1,000th post. When you have read this why not visit Frank and join in the celebrations!

The more I thought about it the more I realized that this really is quite an achievement and a milestone that (a) most bloggers won’t reach, or (b) if and when they do reach it, it will have been the result of many months and perhaps years of blogging.

The BIG difference between this and other blogging awards is that you cannot be nominated for the MIL-POST Blog Award simply because someone else likes your blog and thinks it is worthy of some kind of accolade.

There are lots of other awards for that purpose, for example, the fasab blog has been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award, the Sunshine Blogger Award, the Illuminating Blogger Award and the Kreative Blogger Award. There are many others.

But to be eligible for the MIL-POST Blog Award you must have posted 1,000 times (at least), simple as that.

So if you, or anyone you know, is eligible for the MIL-POST Blog Award please send them a link to this page or the MIL-POST Blog Award page where further details can be found.

And If you haven’t yet reached the 1,000 milestone yet, don’t worry, just keep on blogging and you’ll get there.

Go on,  you know you want one!