I Made A Chicken Salad Today. It Didn’t Even Eat It.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


There’s no ingratitude like the ingratitude of a chicken when you specially prepare a meal for it.

Still I can always make some soup!

Want some more word play?

Try these.

Enjoy or endure!!




When someone says they are not in denial,

I never know whether to believe them…

 in denial



What’s another name

for an angry feminist?

A feminist.

 angry feminist cartoon



My girlfriend said I’m afraid of commitment.


I wouldn’t really call her my girlfriend.

 Cartoon afraid of commitment



I haven’t slept for ten days,

because that would be too long.




Newspaper headline:

Air strike planned

Well I hope it doesn’t last long,

I can’t hold my breath for more than 30 seconds.

 holding breath



I once went out with a girl called simile,

I don’t know what I metaphor.




The grenade factory is the one place

where being able to hear a pin drop

is a bad thing




I had a camera but,

whenever I photographed people,

they came out looking bald-headed…

it was then I realized that

I was using Kojak film.




Are Dementia and Alzheimers

two separate illnesses

or are they one and the same thing?

I can never remember.

 Dementia and Alzheimers cartoon



A minor background part actor

walks into a massage parlour and

asks if they are willing to provide sexual services.

The lady replies

“Sorry love, we don’t do extras.”




My Grandad’s so old

that he remembers

when X Factor was

just a Roman Sun cream

 X Factor Logo



My girlfriend told me that

my Tom Petty obsession

is getting out of hand,

but I won’t back down on this one.

No I won’t







2 thoughts on “I Made A Chicken Salad Today. It Didn’t Even Eat It.

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