I Made A Chicken Salad Today. It Didn’t Even Eat It.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

There’s no ingratitude like the ingratitude of a chicken when you specially prepare a meal for it.

Still I can always make some soup!

Want some more word play?

Try these.

Enjoy or endure!!

.

rofl

.

When someone says they are not in denial,

I never know whether to believe them…

 in denial

.

.

What’s another name

for an angry feminist?

A feminist.

 angry feminist cartoon

.

.

My girlfriend said I’m afraid of commitment.

Well…

I wouldn’t really call her my girlfriend.

 Cartoon afraid of commitment

.

.

I haven’t slept for ten days,

because that would be too long.

 mitch-hedberg-comedian-i-havent-slept-for-ten-days-because-that-would-be-too

.

.

Newspaper headline:

Air strike planned

Well I hope it doesn’t last long,

I can’t hold my breath for more than 30 seconds.

 holding breath

.

.

I once went out with a girl called simile,

I don’t know what I metaphor.

 metaphor

.

.

The grenade factory is the one place

where being able to hear a pin drop

is a bad thing

 hand-grenades

.

.

I had a camera but,

whenever I photographed people,

they came out looking bald-headed…

it was then I realized that

I was using Kojak film.

 Kojak

.

.

Are Dementia and Alzheimers

two separate illnesses

or are they one and the same thing?

I can never remember.

 Dementia and Alzheimers cartoon

.

.

A minor background part actor

walks into a massage parlour and

asks if they are willing to provide sexual services.

The lady replies

“Sorry love, we don’t do extras.”

 Extras

.

.

My Grandad’s so old

that he remembers

when X Factor was

just a Roman Sun cream

 X Factor Logo

.

.

My girlfriend told me that

my Tom Petty obsession

is getting out of hand,

but I won’t back down on this one.

No I won’t

Back

Down

.

.

==========================

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2 thoughts on “I Made A Chicken Salad Today. It Didn’t Even Eat It.

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