People Who Have Bluetooth Handsets Need A Clip Round The Ear.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’m tempted to say that you need a clip round the ear if you don’t like puns, but I know you do.

Why else would you be here?

Unless it’s for pun-ishment.

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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Why are photographers always so depressed?

Because they always focus on the negatives.

 photographers

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I bought a flea circus yesterday,

but one of them won’t go on the high wire.

It’s a nervous tick.

 flea circus

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I played in a football match

that ended in a 2-2 draw.

No 1-1

 football match

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I don’t mind doing crosswords,

but dot to dot puzzles are where I draw the line.

 crosswords

.

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What do you call it when a prisoner

falls from the top of a building?

Condescending.

 prisoner

.

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I invented the upside down house.

It’s now a top cellar.

 upside down house

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To neigh or not to neigh.

That is equestrian.

 equestrian

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Support your local

search and rescue squad.

Get lost

 search and rescue

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Why did the Mafia boss cross the road?

Revenge!

The road had crossed him the week before.

 Mafia boss

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My uncle slipped on some beans last week.

If only he had the benefit of Heinz sight.

 baked beans

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I took my dog to a car showroom today.

I turned to him and said,

“They have an interesting Range Rover.”

 Range Rover car showroom

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If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end,

someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them,

five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

queue of cars

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