Plant Puns: Weed ‘Em And Reap!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Not really a day of plant puns, but it is Pun Day, so you might want to weep anyway.

You know the drill (little gardening pun there).

Enjoy or endure!

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Teacher: If you were a great composer,

where would you live?

Boy: In A Flat.

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I missed today’s Hairdressing Championships,

can anyone tell me if there were any highlights?

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The World Health Organization has

just announced its new slogan.

“WHO cares”.

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My teacher said I was average,

I told him that’s just mean.

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I used to be a gold prospector,

but it didn’t pan out.

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I’ve written my own political manifesto

but I haven’t used one single upper-case letter.

I’m not a capitalist.

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Men with gender issues have it tough in the UK,

I’m sure they’d love to be a broad.

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I wrote some new hymns for the congregation

to sing at my local church and the

Vicar says everybody loves them.

They can’t stop singing my praises.

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I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub.

He seemed like a decent feller.

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If you want to be a coroner be

prepared for a stiff examination.

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My friend is a real Don Juan with the ladies.

The ladies Don Juan anything to do with him.

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When I was in the army I reckoned all

officers higher up that Colonels are assholes.

But I hate when people Generalize.

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I’ve never seen a flamenco dancer,

but those Spaniards must be clever

to train a bird of that size.

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My wife is trying to wind me up

with jibes about my impotence.

I’m not rising to that.

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I didn’t want to go to the

“I Love The 80s” fancy dress party,

but my friend was adamant.

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