Old Professors Never Die. They Just Lose Their Faculties.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


I probably should have said that they lose their faculties and end up as a pun.

In case you haven’t guessed it yet, today is another Pun Day.


Enjoy or endure!




I call my house Lautrec

because it’s got two loos.

two loos



Beauty is in the eye

of the beerholder.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder



The UN. Bringing us all together

by ending conflicts around the world.

Peace by Peace.

The UN



Turns out my ex girlfriend Big Amy

had a secret husband.

If only there had been some clue.

Big Amy



Lawyers are like rhinoceroses:

thick-skinned, short-sighted

and always ready to charge.




Hey girls,

get yourself a Fisherman,

they’re reel men.




How did I escape Iraq?


escape Iraq



My Dermatological Clinic

just wished me Merry Eczemas.

Merry Eczemas



My wife suggested I go for

acupuncture treatment to cure me

from making annoying timber puns.

I can’t see why that woodwork.

acupuncture treatment



Let me correct you –

the London Underground

is not a political movement.

Lancaster_Gate_tube London Underground



It’s ironic that discus isn’t a sport

that many people talk about.




The Lawn Tennis Association’s website

has a fault they are having

problems with their server.




Many Americans oppose any change

to The Second Amendment of the

United States Constitution.

They’re really sticking to their guns.

The Second Amendment



I ordered a whole duck at the

Chinese restaurant last night!

It was great until I got to the bill.

whole duck at the Chinese



Last night I dreamt I was

writing ‘Lord of the Rings’.

Turns out I was Tolkien in my sleep.

 Lord of the Rings



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