Old Professors Never Die. They Just Lose Their Faculties.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I probably should have said that they lose their faculties and end up as a pun.

In case you haven’t guessed it yet, today is another Pun Day.

So….

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

I call my house Lautrec

because it’s got two loos.

two loos

.

.

Beauty is in the eye

of the beerholder.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder

.

.

The UN. Bringing us all together

by ending conflicts around the world.

Peace by Peace.

The UN

.

.

Turns out my ex girlfriend Big Amy

had a secret husband.

If only there had been some clue.

Big Amy

.

.

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses:

thick-skinned, short-sighted

and always ready to charge.

rhinoceros

.

.

Hey girls,

get yourself a Fisherman,

they’re reel men.

Fisherman

.

.

How did I escape Iraq?

Iran

escape Iraq

.

.

My Dermatological Clinic

just wished me Merry Eczemas.

Merry Eczemas

.

.

My wife suggested I go for

acupuncture treatment to cure me

from making annoying timber puns.

I can’t see why that woodwork.

acupuncture treatment

.

.

Let me correct you –

the London Underground

is not a political movement.

Lancaster_Gate_tube London Underground

.

.

It’s ironic that discus isn’t a sport

that many people talk about.

discus

.

.

The Lawn Tennis Association’s website

has a fault they are having

problems with their server.

the_-lawn_tennis_association

.

.

Many Americans oppose any change

to The Second Amendment of the

United States Constitution.

They’re really sticking to their guns.

The Second Amendment

.

.

I ordered a whole duck at the

Chinese restaurant last night!

It was great until I got to the bill.

whole duck at the Chinese

.

.

Last night I dreamt I was

writing ‘Lord of the Rings’.

Turns out I was Tolkien in my sleep.

 Lord of the Rings

.

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