BREAKING NEWS: Man In Boxers Leads Police On A Brief Chase!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If the title didn’t give you a clue, it’s Pun Day again.

Some more word play to….

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Reports that suggest

Little Miss Muffet

has contracted food poisoning

have been described as

“Whey off”.

Little Miss Muffet

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I went to the cinema last night

and saw a movie about cheese.

It was G rated.

grated cheese

.

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What do my wife and a

drone have in common?

The noise.

mick-stevens-oh-no-my-wife-s-drone-new-yorker-cartoon

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Most car designs start off as

a sketch on a piece of paper.

Like the Audi A4.

Audi A4

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I’m waiting to hear if I’ve got a place in

the World Hyperventilating Championship.

I won’t be holding my breath.

World Hyperventilating Championship

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Apparently the government has a database

containing the details of every single

animal attack on humans.

Wonder how big it is,

probably many terror bites.

terror bites

.

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The girl in the shop told me

she didn’t have any 7UP.

But she’s just saying that

out of sprite.

sprite-7up

.

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I’m writing a book

about patriarchal societies.

It’s going to be called

“It’s Reigning Men”.

It's Reigning Men

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I’m known for being a really good chef.

I bring a lot to the table.

really good chef

.

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ISIS.

Always in crisis.

crisis

.

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A lion, a witch and a wardrobe

walk into a bar.

The barman says,

“I’m serving Narnia!”

Narnia

.

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I saw an extremely fat frog that

was having trouble bending its legs.

It was probably roomy-toad arthritis.

roomy-toad arthritis

.

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Help, I am looking for my father,

I was raised by my mother and

all she told me was he’s Italian,

works in a clinic,

and goes by the name ‘Invitro’?

Invitro

.

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My friend gets his Viagra

delivered by chartered air freight.

He’s a Very Impotent Person.

Very Impotent Person

.

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I couldn’t get tickets for the Plan B concert.

So I had to go with my first choice instead.

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