Why Do I Like Masochism? Beats Me!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


And for those masochists among you here is another selection of word plays, or puns.

You know what’s coming.

Enjoy or endure!




As an avid gardener,

I got so excited by summer coming,

I wet my plants.

wet my plants



The jar I put money into every

time I use profanities

has really helped me cut back.

I swear by it.

swear jar



I was just told by someone

to stop being so unsavory.

I thought that’s sweet.




Apparently it’s really easy to cook Monkfish,

Just stick it on the Friar….




What do you call a girl

who keeps disappearing?





I’ve just paid $10 for a 19th century painting

of a cow from the local charity shop.

I think it might be Art Mooveau.

painting of a cow



What do you call

a Muslim doctor?


Muslim doctor



My dentist has accused me

of non-cooperation during appointments.

I’m keeping my mouth shut.

A man scared of dentists has taped his mouth shut.



Having considered buying a couple of

calves at a livestock auction for $200,

I ended up purchasing two lambs for $100

which were sheep at half the price

sheep at half the price



I thought it was weird when my friend

told me he’d fallen in love with a puppet.

Now he’s planning on marionette.




I only enjoy carbonated drinks..

Soda speak.

carbonated drinks



My wife said if I took one more

picture of her she’d leave me.

That’s when I snapped.




What’s better than

a cake on the table?

A tart on the floor.

cake on the table



Our identical twins are impossible to tell apart.

They even wear the same aftershave.

Well, it’s not so much aftershave,

it’s more like Eau de Clone.

Eau de Clone



My friend got me a poster of my

favourite 70’s Glam Rock band.







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