Sometimes I Forget How Amazing My Memory Is.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi everyone. Its 2015 so a Very Happy New Year to one and all.

And to get this new year off to a good start here is a bit of word play for you.

Yes, it’s Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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Drums with no skins.

You can’t beat them.

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Just to clear things up,

I use a brush

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Want to hear a construction joke?

I’m building up to it.

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My leg won’t stop mooing.

I think I’ve got a calf injury.

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I’d find some affordable glasses,

in an eye deal world.

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I had a fight with some

furniture the other day.

Nobody won though,

it was a drawer.

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A Spanish magician tells the audience

he will disappear on the count of three.

He says, “Uno, dos…..”

*POOF*

….he disappeared without a tres.

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I was in good position to win the

International shoelace-tying

championships yesterday ,

But I buckled under the pressure.

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I just realized that I haven’t done

the hokey pokey in over 10 years.

I guess when you get older,

you just forget what it’s all about.

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I hated my job as an escapologist.

I couldn’t get out of it quick enough.

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An Irish ‘Star Trek’ fan has been

assassinated by the Mafia.

He was capped in Cork.

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Whenever I see a broken elevator

I stair.

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My family regard my cousin

as a skeleton in the closet.

He’s a gay anorexic.

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I’ve come to the belief that ‘crazy’

is a relative term with my family.

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Where does a Jamaican composer live?

In D flat.

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