Procrastinators Unite! …. Tomorrow.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Procrastinators may unite tomorrow if they want, but for the rest of us today is Pun Day.

Yes, more awful jokes and word play fun.

So, enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I just realised that

“stats”  is palindromic.

What are the odds of that?!

STATS

.

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“Hey Harry, how much were

those broom sticks?” Asked Ron.

“Quid each”, replied Harry.

quidditch

.

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I thought my wife was happy

to fully repair my jeans.

Or at least sew its seams.

repair my jeans

.

.

I submitted a 16:9 picture of my farm

to the photography contest.

They didn’t like the crop.

16.9 picture of my farm

.

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My fine art and fragrances business has failed.

The perfumes sold well, but I didn’t really know

how to market the paintings I’d bought.

Now I’ve got more Monet than scents.

Monet - Water-Lily-Pond--Symphony-In-Rose

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You feel stuck with your debt

if you can’t budge it.

budget2013_BalancingTheBudget_new

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The inventor of predictive text has died.

His funfair will be hello on Sundial.

His funfair will be hello on Sundial

.

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I’m a judge in graffiti competitions.

It’s as exciting as watching paint dry.

graffiti competitions

.

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Ghetto blasters.

They’re an 80s stereotype.

lasonic-ghetto-blaster-famous-gold-edition-3

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I accidentally sprinkled marijuana into my mayonnaise.

It reminded me of Holland Days.

hollandaise-sauce

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I once got a butterfly high

by giving it concentrated speed.

It was a crystal moth

crystal moth

.

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When I broke the news to my little

brother that he had diabetes,

I tried not to sugarcoat it.

sugarcoat

.

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Constipation:

same old s**t,

different day.

constipation

.

.

Is it just me or are Polish cleaners

really bad at brushing up?

Sorry that was a

sweeping generalization.

cleaners

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My laptop is broken.

It just keeps playing

“Someone Like You”

over and over again.

Probably because it’s a Dell.

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4 thoughts on “Procrastinators Unite! …. Tomorrow.

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