Whoever Invented The Selfie Needs To Take A Good Look At Themselves.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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And since it’s pun day again you need to take a good look at this latest batch.

Enjoy or endure!!!

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What do you call

a German on speaker phone?

Hans Free

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‘Sugar’

is the only word in the English language

in which the S, is pronounced ‘sh’.

I’m sure of that.

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My brother has had to

close down his archery business.

In the first 12 months 

he didn’t hit any of his targets .

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Ten years in the same job and

not once have I been in the boss’s office.

That’s what got me fired as a cleaner.

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Just been mugged and beaten up.

I tried to defend myself with a drawing pin.

Turns out a tac isn’t the best form of defense after all.

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Before we split up, my wife

was obsessed with horoscopes.

I’m sure that’s what Taurus apart.

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I was on the freeway when a guy driving in the other direction

started flashing his lights, beeping his horn and screaming,

“You’re going the wrong way!”

What an idiot.

He didn’t even know where I was going.

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What has a pee at

the end of a tram?

A tramp.

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Breaking News:

Man arrested over missing woman

Imagine if he’d hit her???

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Adoption jokes –

There’s never a good time to tell them.

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I don’t approve of my girlfriend’s one night stand.

Why should she be the only one with

somewhere to put a bedside lamp.

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I threw three DVDs at exactly the same time

to see which one would hit the wall first.

It was a discrace.

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My wife called me into the bathroom

and asked me to wash her back.

I don’t remember her

washing me in the first place.

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Erectile dysfunction;

just when you thought

it couldn’t get any harder.

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My wife, Lorraine, has just found out that 

I have been cheating on her with Clara next door.

Last night, she packed her things and left.

I can see Clara now, Lorraine has gone.

Take it away Johnny….

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