Stonehenge Rocks!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yeah, Stonehenge rocks!

So does Pun Day!!

As always….

Enjoy or endure!!!




Deaf people are lip reading as we speak.




In school, my teacher asked me if I

had any of my own maths equipment.

“I have a broken abacus,” I replied.

She said, “That doesn’t count.”




I’m a puppeteer –

I had to pull a lot of strings to get the job.




My friend happily announced recently that,

after 18 months of hard work and determination,

he had lost over 130 pounds of unhealthy useless fat.

He divorced her.




Want to pull a Jewish girl?

Just show them some interest.

Jewish girl



A woman walks up to a handsome man

in a nightclub and shouts, “Fat penguin!”

“Pardon?” he says, looking bemused.

“Sorry,” she replies. “I was just trying to

think of something that would break the ice.”

cartoon Fat penguin



Being unemployed definitely has its benefits.

unemployment benefit



I always get chutney and pickle mixed up.

It makes me chuckle.




My mate asked if I wanted to

play electric shock monopoly.

I jumped at the chance.




Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.

The doctor says I’m OK,

but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

food coloring



My mum always said,

Never use two words when one will do.”

Why didn’t she just say,

“Avoid verbosity”?

mother talking to child



I love blondes, but I was gutted to come

home from work to find my girlfriend

had dyed her hair brunette.

It’s just not fair.




Protesters at the recent G20 conference

were holding up huge signs saying

‘Capitalism Isn’t Working’.

A friend of mine turned to me and said,

“Surely that’s wrong.

Surely ‘Capitalism Is Working’.”

Capitalism Isn't Working



My English teacher told me that it’s impossible

to take two completely different words out of context

and use them to create a coherent sentence.

Wheel sea.

English teacher



Friends of my wife and I, recently bought a farm,

and decided to invite us to a House warming party.

I asked my wife, “What shall we get them for a present?”

“How about this long length of rope with bucket attached?” she replied.

“Yes,” I agreed. “I am sure that will go down well.”

well bucket and rope




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