I Never Question Myself. Why Should I Start Now?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Why indeed!

I certainly never question the popularity of puns.

So here is another word play day for toy to…..

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I went to see my doctor with chronic depression.

I said, “Feeling any happier these days doc?”

doctor with chronic depression

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My friend certainly knows how to make an entrance.

He just put up my new front door.

new front door

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I’ve just broken all my DVDs of Japanese cartoons.

I’m my own worst anime.

anime

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My dog just swallowed my phone

and got it stuck in his throat,

I’m going to ring his neck.

cartoon dog

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Just for a laugh, I changed the font at our local church

but the Vicar wasn’t happy.

It took him half a day to get it back

to Times New Roman.

font

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I’ve gone off them a bit now,

but there was a time when I used to really dig graves.             

grave_digging_afghan

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My new girlfriend really takes my breath away.

She’s inflatable.

inflatable woman

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I could hear the wife moaning about

a wobbly shelf in the kitchen.

I soon fixed that.

I turned the TV up.

tv volume control

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I’m fed up with my friend Adam.

He walks round like he is God’s gift to women.

Adam

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My dad was watching a news broadcast about Gaza.

He was so shocked he dropped hezbollah cornflakes.

cornflakes

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My wife left because she thinks

I have an obsession with electricity.

I was like, “Watt, I’m shocked….

it hertz me when you say stuff like that.

Currently I’ve not been myself I admit,

but it would help if you had some positive input in

my life instead of being negative.

But none of that matters any more,

I’m going ohm.”            

electrical terms

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I’m planning on becoming a shepherd.

It’s easy, I herd.

shepherd

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My next song is about subtraction.

Take it away…      

subtraction

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Leaving her living room,

a blonde finds her husband lying unconscious

at the foot of the stairs and in a panic she calls ‘911’.

“My husband’s fallen down the stairs,” she cries.

“Calm down, madam,” the operator tells her,

“do you know what caused the fall?”

“No, what?”

blonde blonde

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Shop assistants are so rude these days.

I went into the DVD store and asked if they had

any about people stranded on a desert island.

The assistant told me to get lost.

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